Happy new year wherever you are

For those in places like New Zealand, it's already 2008 as I type these words. For those of us on this side of the international dateline, we're still lingering in 2007. Wherever you are, I'd like to wish you a happy and prosperous 2008. You'll have to forgive the lack of activity here at Vicious Imagery, I've been letting my brain take a well-earned rest after an active 2007. But I'll be back with my resolutions in the next few days, once 2008 is in place all over. Until then, stay safe.

Morphing montage - women in art

Morphing montage - women in film

Last year's resolutions - hits and misses

The end of 2007 is accelerating towards us with undue haste and alacrity, so it's time for a look back at the new year resolutions I made twelve months ago - a reality check before I put together my fate-tempting hopes for 2008.

1. Blog every day - didn't quite manage that, but certainly surpassed 1000 posts in total on this blog. I think the total's closer to 1200 by now.

2. Complete my screenwriting MA, ideally with distinction - achieved. Even got the university medal, a first for any student at Screen Academy Scotland. It's nice for the ego and looks good on a CV, but hasn't done much for me otherwise. Alas, I work in a field where winning a university medal is entirely irrelevant.

3. Write no novels between January and June 2007 - achieved, but I spent February rewriting a novel left over from 2006. I wanted to concentrate on other things for the first half of 2007 and did so, February aside.

4. Write a novel between July and December 2007 - achieved. Finished A Massacre in Marienburg on December 14, so snuck that one in under the wire.

5. Worry less about money and concentrate more on writing. Did my best to fulfil this but it wasn't easy. My income's been cut in half the last few years, as I've set aside paying work to pursue my dream of writing broadcast drama. So far, that hasn't paid off monetarily, but I'd like to think I've made some progress otherwise.

6. Get another radio play commissioned - nope. Too busy with the MA, the mentoring project, and numerous other screenwriting courses and workshops last year. Simply didn't have time to develop ideas for radio.

7. Get a TV drama broadcast credit - nope. This was definitely a case of aim high and you might hit something, if not your original target. I was hopeful of getting a credit by writing or becoming a storyliner or script editor. Alas, none of these has some to pass - yet. But I ain't giving up, not by a long chalk.

8. Finish the mentoring project with a good calling card script - achieved. Lots of people have read and complemented me on Taking Liberties. But I need more calling card scripts to prove myself a worthy prospect.

9. Finish the MA with a strong, feature length script to my credit - nope. Instead I wrote another 60-minute TV drama calling card script. My planned feature was not coming together, so I set it aside. For emerging writers in the UK, the best hope of getting work is on TV - yet the vast majority of scheme, workshops and showcase opportunities revolve around features. So I still need to write a good feature.

10. Get an agent - nope. I've been trying the last few months but no success, yet. Will probably let this lie for a while, try and acquire some more credits before having another run at the agencies. Need to make myself more enticing as a client.

11. Take proper holidays - nope. In 2006 I managed a week off in June and that was about it. 2007 proved no better, with a week off in - you guessed it - June and that was about it. Again. That situation will change in 2008, as I'll be away for three and a half weeks visiting New Zealand, seeing my family for the first time in five years. Can't wait for a real chance to unplug and relax, away from work.

Phew, that was quite a list I set myself for 2007. Five definite successes, five misses and one that's a bit of a score draw. Not a bad ratio. Now to ponder what I want and need to achieve in 2008.

It's not easy having a head the size of a planet

Got a new hat for Christmas but it's a tight fit, especially as I have a head the size of a planet. Honestly, my bonce is enormous. Even when I was 11 and a school trip took our class to an oil refinery [it was all glamour at my school], they couldn't find a hard hat big enough to fit on my head. So finding hats that fit is a real problem for me, let alone anyone trying to shop for me.

What else did I get? Books, CDs, DVDs and a selection of Kiwi provisions - peanut slabs, chocolate fish, and bottles of that great New Zealand delicacy L&P. All in all, a great haul and one that will keep me entertained, informed, and indulged for days, weeks and months to come. So here's a clip from NZ to illustrate the wonders of L&P and a bizarre fashion incident known as Stubbies.

bubbles for breakfast on Christmas Day

We have a Christmas tradition - a bottle of vintage champagne with breakfast on December 25th. The breakfast varies from year to year, but the champagne is a constant. Once you've imbibed the bubbles, the day passes in a gentle, smiling bliss. Today the Laurent Perrier 1999 has been opened and drunk, lunch is being prepared and presents have been opened in a frenzy of torn paper and happy surprises. Vicious Imagery wishes you the happiest of days and prosperous 2008.

No snow on the drokkin' logo!

Christmas covers are something of a poison chalice for titles like iconic British science ficiton comic 2000 AD. It's never easy to strike the right balance between twisted imagination and twee festive frolics. Some years the editor ignores Christmas altogether, other times they embrace it too much and the result's an unsightly mess. Me, I always had an aversion to snow appearing on the logo, and would have preferred to concentrate on content over contrivance [call me Scrooge].

It's probably a consequence of growing up in New Zealand where Christmas came at the start of summer. British Christmas comics usually turned up three months after the fact, because they arrived on a slow boat [probably coming via China]. As a result, I read the Christmas issue round Easter, when efforts to embrace the festive spirit seemed bizarre and inane. All of which is a roundabout introductionn to my five favourite Christmas covers from 2000 AD's early years. Enjoy.

Counting the Beat - The Swingers

She's A Mod - Ray Columbus & the Invaders

Hey Ya - Wellington Int'l Ukulele Orchestra

Galactically Hot Women of original Star Trek

Some bloke with far, far, far too much time on his hands is creating an online archive of all the hot women featured in the original series of Star Trek. Dig those haircuts, love that eyeshadow - Amy Winehouse, eat your heart out. Here's five of them.

Traditional things in the Bowie household

The Art and Business of Adaptation

Mead Kerr has announced a new screenwriting seminar for March 2008, this time tackling the topic of adaptation. Sadly for me, the dates clash with a trip back to New Zealand I've had booked for nearly a year. [This always happens - I missed the last of Adrian's Edinburgh seminars because I was also away on holiday. Sigh.] Anyway, my loss is your gain as that leaves a seat empty, so here are all the details.

THE ART AND BUSINESS OF ADAPTATION

This weekend will provide you with all the tools you need to find and adapt work for the screen. Guest speakers ranging from screenwriters, novelists, producers and publishers will share their experience of finding, optioning, writing and selling work. Just a few of the areas we will cover are...

1. The Author
When is your book, article or blog suitable for adaptation?
How can you publicise your work to the film and TV industry?
Selling the film and TV rights to your work.
Adapting your own work for the screen.

2. The Producer
When is a book, article or blog suitable for adaptation?
Finding material for adaptation and establishing relationships with authors,
journalists, agents and publicists.
Negotiating the film and TV rights.
Hiring the screenwriter.

3. The Screenwriter
Creating a pitch for the job and your take on the work.
The adaptation process - finding the screenplay within the material.
Working with the producer and originator of the work.
And much, much more!

This is a brand new course and as always we will be providing the most up to
date, career building advice, a relaxed and friendly networking opportunity
and excellent speakers and panel members.

If you have not already attended one of our courses do some research by
googling the tutor Adrian Mead and also check out the testimonials on our
site - http://www.meadkerr.com

Think about this statement from Screen International: "...adaptations make up around 80% of the projects currently being made." Faced with these kinds of statistics it is obvious that if you want a career as a screenwriter you need to do this course.

DATE: Sat 15 - Sun 16th March
VENUE: EDINBURGH city centre (TBC)
COST: £120 incl VAT and Lunch

BOOKING DETAILS: To request a booking form or further information send us an e-mail - info@meadkerr.com - testimonials can be seen at the Mead Kerr web site - http://www.meadkerr.com

Ghosts appear and fade away

Captain Jack Harness is Super!

Rest of the day off

Definitely gone demob happy as I've fulfilled my last deadline for 2007, hence the late post today. It's worth mentioning I'll be doing a cull of links on this blog between now and Hogmanay. Anybody who hasn't bothered to update their blog for more than a month will be vanishing. I need fresh content and I need it now. In the meantime, here's the video for a groovy track called Rest of the Day Off.

New Line, Peter Jackson make Hobbit, not war

It's been announced Peter Jackson and New Line will work together to adapt JRR Tolkein's The Hobbit for the big screen. Plans were unveiled yesterday for a two-film version of the beloved The Lord of the Rings precursor, with Jackson leading the creative team - but he won't be directing. Helming committments on The Lovely Bones and collaborating with Steven Spielberg on Tintin means another director will take charge of both films.

Likely choice for the job? Spiderman helmer Sam Raimi. [That sound you hear is a bazillion geeks exploding with joy across the globe.] The plan is to shot both films in New Zealand back-to-back, just as was done with The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Those blockbuster movies made Jackson, his creatives partners Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, his Weta companies and New Line a ton of money. But disputes over money led to acrimony.

There've been efforts recently to rebuild bridges, looks like those efforts have been successful. Having Jackson et al on board for The Hobbit always felt necessary, so the adaptation could blend seamlessly with The Lord of the Rings trilogy. But does The Hobbit need two films to tell its story? Tolkein's book for children is no longer than any of the three books that became a trilogy of movies.

Are two films artistically justifiable? Or is this just another example of filmmaker bloat [something that made Jackson's King Kong an underwhelming effort, IMHO] and squeezing the most money out of a beloved book? Guess we'll find out in 2010 and 2011, when the two films are due in cinemas. Ironically, it may be another fantasy film adaptation that sealed the deal on The Hobbit.

New Line has recently released The Golden Compass, an adaptation of the first book in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. New Line had hopes it could create another blockbust trilogy of films, following in the footsteps on The Lord of the Rings. But The Golden Compass has flopped in US cinemas, making a fraction of its production budget.

There's more greater success internationally for the movie, but prospect for further features in the series look doubtful. This relative failure and yesterday's announcement The Hobbit may have no connection. If so, it's just a happy coincidence for fans of Jackson's take on Tolkein. Whatever the reason, fingers crossed the Kiwi magician can recapture lightning in a bottle.

My novels #12: Imperial Black

NIKOLAI DANTE: Imperial Black [Black Flame, 2005]

In this riotous tale of the near future, Nikolai Dante is cuaght by the Parliament of Shadows: a cabal planning the overthrow the Tsar. He is given a stark choice - do the cabal's work or face execution. Decisions, decisions...

The Russian rogue is team with beautiful assassin Mai Tsai, and sent to the Himalayas where a lost mountain fortress hides a secret weapon. But nobody has ever found the Forbidden Citadel and returned alive. Meanwhile, the Tsar's notorious Imperial Blck regiment - renowned for their cruelty and brutality - also searches for the citadel. This deadly army is led by Ivanov the Terrible, a ruthless sadist who has an old score to settle with Dante.

The snow runs red with blood as Nikolai fights for his life on the roof of the world!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now that back covr copy definitely sounds like something I'd like, featuring as it does a lot of allitertion [though not by anxious anchors placed in perilous posts]. This was the second of my three Dante novels. Having played things for laughs in the first, I decided to go a bit darker and more serious with this book. The character's stories in iconic British comic 2000 AD oscillate between romps and bleaker tales, so I wanted to reflect that in my prose version of the character.

Of course, that didn't prevent plenty of humour creeping into the finished tome. I seem to recall an extended chase sequence in the opening chapters with Dante fighitng off an attacker armed only with a metre-long double-ended phallus for protection, and he also has to swim across an indoor pool of warm sake. There's plenty of other hi-jinks among all the blood and thunder.

The title for this tome was created by another author who had pitched a Dante novel to Black Flame. The book was solicited to the trade but the writer didn't get contracted, so I was asked to adopt the name for my novel. I didn't mind as it provided a title for the bad guys' regiment, but still feel kind of bad about being given a slot promised to another author - sorry, Andrew.

Not much else to say about Imperial Black. I was writing a new novel every three months at this point, so the experience of writing them all blends together. This particular book is out of print, but you can buy all three of my Dante novels in a big fat omnibus edition appropriately entitled From Russia With Lust.

It's official: A Massacre in Marienburg

Publishing imprint Black Library has spilled the beans, so I can now confirm that my 19th novel will be A Massacre In Marienburg, due out December 2008. It's my second Warhammer tome, following on from A Murder In Marienburg published earlier this year. I can't give away too many plot details, but it's safe to say the survivors from the first book return in a story that puts the war back in Warhammer. The book's title might give you a hint about what happens next.

I finished the first draft on Friday, and I'm pleased with the results. But writing the climax of a novel while performing five nights in pantomime? Not so clever. I was absolutely drained by the end of the week. Happily, typing THE END on Friday gave renwed vigour and the last two nights of the show were a blast. Lots of positive comments about the show, and a crackerjack script by Nicholas Pegg. The fact we put the show together in six weeks makes the achievement all the more remarkable, a tribute to the hard work of the cast and crew - especially wardrobe mistress Denise.

Spent yesterday decompressing from the stresses of recent weeks while watching the third and [sob] final season of Veronica Mars on DVD. It's always a strange sensation when a show ends. You've devoted so much time and energy to the production, it's absence leaves a whole in your life for a while. But plans are already afoot for the next show, most probably a musical hitting the stage next May.

This week I've got various bits and bobs of work to achieve, along with Christmas preparations to tackle. But by Wednesday I'll be letting the tightly wound spring in my psyche wind down a little. I've been going peddle to the metal since this time last year, with just one week off in June to recuperate. Looking forward to a meaningful rest, and giving the creative well refill with ideas over the break.

Video classic: Is Europe a country?

12 days of Christmas: warning - contains Toto

Vote Chuck in 2008

At last, a British channel has had the good sense to buy the new US comedy-drama Chuck for broadcast next year. Alas, that channel is Virgin 1 and not available to backward types who don't have access to satellite, cable or digital TV yet. Sigh. It's more of a boys' show than, say, Ugly Betty [as this picture demonstrates] but is still a lot of fun.

The newly launched series proved enough of a hit in the US to get a full season order of 22 episodes, despite the ongoing writers' strike. Some 13 eps were made before the dispute closed down production, but only 11 have been broadcast across the Atlantic thus far. Anyway, I recommend Chuck if you like entertaining, popcorn television with a little bit of heart and a lot of wit.

Hollywood awards season kicks off

December launches a flurry of awards, principally for film, but TV also gets a look in with some accolades. Critics associations in various US cities are naming their favourite films, directors, actors and screenplays of 2007. The Coen Brothers' latest, No Country For Old Men, is getting a lot of traction.

Julie Christie is fast becoming a lock for a best actress nomination come the Oscars and Ratatouille will likely be battling Persepolis for best animated feature. The elephant for all these discussions is the ongoing writers' strike. It's already laying waste to TV schedule across the Atlantic, and televised awards shows will suffer too if the strike drags on into the new year - as seems likely.

In the midst of all this, the Writers' Guild of America has announced it nominations for the best TV of 2007. Top dramatic series are Dexter, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, The Sopranos and The Wire - can't argue with any of those choices. It's a sign of the strength in US TV drama that the guild could have filled those five slots several times over and still be acclaiming quality programmes.

Best new series? Damages, Flight of the Conchords, Mad Men and Pushing Daisies - not a dud amongst them. I'd have been tempted to add Life to the list, but that's just me. Kudos to the double nod for Mad Men, it really is that good. Watch out for the series when it appears on the BBC next year.

My novels #11: Suffer the Children

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: Suffer the Children [Black Flame, 2005]

From your worst nightmares strides Freddy Krueger, the fedora-wearing, razor-glove-wielding legend of the big screen! In the first in a brand new series of further adventures, the cult icon that is Freddy once again prowls the dreams of the teenagers on Elm Street.

When six volunteers test an anti-insomnia drug, they get much more than they barged for when they are thrust into the dream realm - a playground for the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I grew up watching the Hollywood slasher films in the 80s, and Freddy Kreuger was always my favourite. The films showed wit and visual flair I felt were lacking from Friday the 13th movies. Several notable writers and directors got their break on Elm Street movies, and I saw every Freddy movie at the pictures when it was released. When Black Flame said it was looking for authors to write Elm Street novels, I had my proposal submitted in record time.

It took eight months for franchise owners new Line to approve the synopsis, but they didn't ask for anything to be changed [others were not so fortunate]. I was busy writing other books for Black Flame, but set aside time in my schedule for the Elm Street novel, quietly looking forward to spending some quality time with the finger-knife maniac with the red and green striped jumper.

When the time came to write this tome, I had one apprehension. None of my previous novels had been longer than 80,000 words, and this was commissioned as 95,000 words. Doesn't sound like a lot more but trust me, it is. Still, I was confident my carefully constructed synopsis would carry me through. Normally I'll take up to 5000 words to write a synopsis for a novel.

Imagine my horror when I printed out the plotline and discovered it ran only 1200 words, barely covering four sides. Thin? It was verging on anorexic. Somehow I had to turn these too few paragraphs into 95,000 words of gripping, terrifying prose. Yikes. I stuck a sign on the wall above my computer [it's there still]. There are three phrases on it - Describe Everything, How Does It Smell?, and Use All Five Senses.

In the absence of a detailed plot roadmap, I needed to delve into how everything looked, tasted, sounded, felt and smelled. [A lot of novels ignore smells altogether, even the prose is almost the only storytelling medium that can evoke a smell in the mind of the audience, outside scratch and sniff panels.] I would explore the feelings and fears of my teenage cast. I would describe the hell out of everything.

Amazingly, it seemed to work. Suffer the Children was something of a highwire act without a net, but I survived and the book's a rattling yarn. Elm Street fans can be a possessive lot, all with their own ideas of what makes a good Elm Street story and what doesn't [I feel the same way about Doctor Who]. Judging by reviews on amazon.com, some loved this novel and some hated it.

Nobody seemed to notice the influence of Stephen Kind's Firestarter on the drug testing sequence, nor the debt my plot owed to Peter Jackson's unmake Elm Street screenplay - not even New Line. I loved tormenting my cast of American teenagers, and grew quite fond of my main protagonist Alex, tough she certainly suffered at my hands. I felt I owed her some sort of redemption.

So I set to work planning a new Elm Street novel, one that worked in its own right but would also bring her back and give the character some closure. I submitted a pitch with the working title House of 100 Maniacs, exploring why Freddy always kept coming back to the same home on Elm Street. It was a Krueger rife on classic horror films like The Haunting, almost all set inside one building.

I was going for taut, claustrophobic storytelling, with a cast of characters would die one by one, augmented with all sorts of twists and turns. My editors at Black Flame liked the proposal, and sent it across to New Line. The film studio licensing people also gave it the thumbs up, but poor sales on the Elm Street books meant I never got formally contracted to write the book. Such is life.

On strike in the countryside

Across the Atlantic the Writers' Guild of America is on strike in a bitter dispute over a whole bunch of issues. But like most strikes, it can be boiled down to one key issue - in this case, writers want an equitable share of revenues from use of their work over the internet. [If you want more about the strike, I recommend the blog United Hollywood.] The centrepoints for picketing strikers are Hollywood in Los Angeles and, to a lesser extent, New York. Go online and you'll see plenty of footage of strikers walking the line, keeping their protest in the public eye. But what about writers who don't live in LA or NY? Where do they go to picket?

I've been on strike twice in my career, both times where I was a journalist in New Zealand. Back then union membership was compulsory in NZ [I've no idea if that's still the case], so if the leadership said you were going out on strike, out you went. The first time I was working in the Hawera branch office of The Daily Newspaper, a morning paper in the province of Taranaki. There was no picket line, and certainly no media coverage of the strike - because the news media were the ones on strike. Even if there had been coverage, it wouldn't have featured us.

Being on strike in the countryside is essentially like being unemployed. You don't go in to work, you've got nothing to do and no money to spend. We were paid weekly at the time and I didn't have any savings, so it was case of scraping by on whatever was in the cupboards and ignoring any bills that came in. We didn't have the internet, or DVDs or computer games - hell, we didn't have a computer in the house I shared. [Yes, we did have electricity and the wheel, thanks for asking.]

So we spent a lot of time listening to records or reading books, anything that didn't involve spending money. From memory, the strike was about exemptions - management wanted more senior staff to be exempt from future strikes, whereas the union didn't want that as it would make future strikes less effective. We were striking about the terms and conditions for future strikes - at least, that's how it seemed to me.

Anyways, it went on for eleven days before some kind of common sense prevailed and we went back to work. Just as well, otherwise I was faced with driving five hours - with limited cash and even less petrol - to stay with my parents until the dispute blew over. Being on strike in the countryside when you're broke? Not that much fun.

The second time I was on strike only lasted a day and a half. By then I was working at the biggest paper in New Zealand, based in the country's biggest city, Auckland. That strike was about the introduction of new technology, such as direct inputting for reporters and the adoption of desktop publishing technology. That time I got to vote at the strike meeting and learn about such arcane terms as Father of the Chapel. The strike was so short it felt more like 36 hours of unpaid leave. Most of that we spent in the pub, if memory serves.

Now I'm freelance, there's no such thing as going on strike. Membership of the Writers' Guild of Great Britain is not compulsory, so a strike to match the US dispute is unlikely ever to happen on this side of the Atlantic. Besides, the public broadcasting remit built into several of the key networks in Britain precludes the hardline negotiating tactics seen in the US. Happily for UK writers, our guild has already negotiated rights and payments regarding online usage.

What did you write about the war, daddy?

Still doing the dance of the seven deadly deadlines, so no time for lengthy blog posts. Instead, why don't you go read about the script Hollywood considers the hottest unmade screenplays of 2007. A few of them are in development or slated to be made, but some may never seen a screen [silver, TV or computer]. There's a lot of war and espionage tales being told, or there were before the writers' strike. [Thanks to Alex for the link to the article.] If I get time tomorrow, I'll try to recall the two times I've been on strike.

Miss Push? Let me introduce you to Mr Shove

Busy busy busy busy busy. It's dress rehearsal day for the local pantomime, so that's a minimum of six to eight hours in the theatre today as we run the show twice. Also need to get some shopping in for the week, eat food so I don't tip off and have a bath. Plus I'm finished a novel and writing two script reports for different agencies. Like I said, busy busy busy busy busy.

At least the forecast snow didn't arrive yesterday, that would've only added to the chaos. I love snow. Growing up in New Zealand, I didn't see snow till I was 20, so it'll always has novelty value for me. But it would be helpful if it didn't arrive for another week. Must dash, things to go, thighs to slap...

Professionals who perform like amateurs

I'm involved with a local dramatic society and it's pantomime season. We're strictly an amateur outfit, putting on shows for fun and entertainment, but we try to be professional in everything we do. Alas, this sometimes brings us into contact with professional organisations who perform more like stumbling amateurs. Honestly, sometimes you have to wonder how they stay in business.

For example, we decided to hire a backcloth for our show. I chose the cloth from a professional company, phoned in my order, confirmed it by email and our treasurer paid in advance and on time. Every detail was agreed: which cloth, to what address it should be delivered and on which two days it should be delivered. It was meant to arrive Thursday this week, but didn't. I phoned the professionals.

Yes, the cloth has been despatch, it will be with you today [Thursday] or tomorrow [Friday]. Fine. Fast forward to Friday - still no cloth. Phone the professionals, who in turn phoned the professional couriers they use to deliver theatrical cloths. The couriers say the cloth has been delivered, but not to my address. No, it went to the Biggar Little Theatre - a place that doesn't exist.

It was signed for by a man whose name I don't recognise. Oh, and it was left at reception - of a place that doesn't exist. I point out the fallacy in this, so the professional hire company call back the professional couriers. The story changes. Now it seems the cloth was left at a particular business at a particular address in town, where the couriers used to deliver our cloths five years ago.

Alas, this is another fallacy. The particular address has since been pulled down, and the business has moved to another location and changed hands. Fine. A series of phone calls by me uncovers the fact that the cloth went to a third address, arriving a week early and was signed for by a man with no connection by our amateur company. So the professional couriers have not covered themselves in glory.

After detective work, I track down the man with the cloth and he goes out of his way to deliver to my home - the place where it was meant to come in the first place. Fine. This morning I take the cloth to the venue and unroll it in preparation for hanging, because tomorrow [Sunday] is dress rehearsal day - the last chance to practise with the cloth in place before opening night.

Alas, the trifecta of cock-ups is complete. The professionals have sent us the wrong cloth. We asked for a ballroom cloth with a code ending in 99. They sent us a cloth depicting a terrace on the Med, with a code ending in 98. Congratulations, professionals! You delivered a cloth to the wrong address, on the wrong day - and it's the wrong cloth. I'm not sure if this could have gone worse.

Professionals? They don't deserve the name. Give me amateurs any day; at least they aspire to perform in a professional way.

My novels #10: The Strangelove Gambit

NIKOLAI DANTE: The Strangelove Gambit [Black Flame, 2005]

It's 2672 AD, in a future where the Russian revolution never happened, and Nikolai Dante is the most wanted man in the Empire. Fifty million roubles have been put up as reward for his capture. Any sensible man would be hiding off-world, but the swashbcukling rogue enjoys living dangerously!

Fighting to stop a terrifying weapon being unleashed by a shadowy doctor, the only thing that stands between Dante and success is a finishing school full of beautiful young ladies. How can the carousing scoundrel resist the temptation?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For those who don't know Dante, he's a character from iconic British sci-fi comic 2000 AD. Think Flashman meets Hans Solo and you've got the essence of this delightful creation by Robbie Morrison and Simon Fraser. I was editor of the comic when the strip was being developed in 1996, though credit for commissioning Dante must go to my predecessor John Tomlinson. When Black Flame agreed to published novels based on 2000 AD characters besides the ubiquitous Dredd, I leapt at the chance to take Dante from four-colour thriller to pulse-pounding page-turner. Fortunately, Robbie agreed to let me borrow his characters.

The result is a trio of novels that among my favourites from everything I've ever written, three non-stop romps full of bawdy antics and breath-taking hi-jinks. The Strangelove Gambit launched the series, borrowing a riff from Ian Fleming's novel On Her Majesty's Secret Service as Dante goes undercover [and between the sheets] at a finishing school for beautiful young ladies. The Russian rogue is in his element, leaping from boudoir to battle in this espionage comedy-thriller. Fellow scribe Jim Swallow describe the book as James Bond meets Carry On and he's dead right.

All three of the Dante novels borrow their first narrative sentence from an Ian Fleming novel - in this case it's Casino Royale that provids the opening. Every chapter features a Russian proverb, all of them genuine adages gleaned from pouring through a book containing more than 10,000 such proverbs. The Strangelove Gambit was originally to be called The Faberge Experiment, but worries about infringing trademarks require a new title.

This novel was written in the blazing hot summer of 2004. The firt half went well and, once I'd found the right authorial voice and settled into my stride, proved a hoot to laugh. Another job interrupted my efforts, leaving me in the perilous position whereby I had to write the final 42,000 words in six days. These proved to be the hottest days of the year, of course. And the week the council decided to dig up the footpath outside my house. And the week the house was being painted by two men in a cherry-picker with its engine rumbling away in the background non-stop. All of which meant I couldn't shut the freshly-painted windows to block out noise.

It's a measure of my flinty determination and how much I was enjoying writing this book that I met my deadline with an hour or two to spare. These was my third novel in quick succession for Black Flame, but I was still feeling fresh and enthusiastic. I already had my next two commissions lined up with the published, one of which I'd been waiting eight months on the synopsis getting approval.

I've got a lot of affection for The Strangelove Gambit and all the Dante novels. They contain my funniest writing and some wonderful moments, but a lot of the credit for that is due to the original creators who came up with such a delightful premise and cast of scoundrels. Borrowing was always a joy, never a chore. Sadly, the Dante novels didn't sell through well in bookstores, but I treasure my copies of the three books and the omnibus edition, which is still available. Go buy it now!

Sometimes you have to decide it's their loss

It's all too easy taking rejection to heart. You get turned down for something and it feels like a personal slight, as if your work or your potential has been denigrated. But you can't rely on the opinion of others to determine your self-worth - that way lays the path to madness. As a writer or any kind of creative individual have to take responsibility for your work, your career and how you feel about what you're doing. Place too much stock in the opinions of others and it'll drive you crazy.

For example, I had a meeting on Tuesday. I won't get into the specifics, but it seemed to go well. Lots of common ground was found, possibilities were floated and I left feeling positive about the future for that particular project. Yesterday I got an email saying I hadn't it to the final round for consideration on something I've been working towards for two years. I abandoned work for the day, knowing exactly what effect the rejection would have.

Getting your teeth kicked in with a rejection is a lot like coping with grief. You get the classic stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. So I spluttered with disbelief, swore a lot for ten minutes, binned the rest of the day to get over it and felt sorry for myself. This morning that rejection is history. There's I can do about it, better to move on, pursue other opportunities. Sooner you get the grieving process over, the less it'll eat your soul creatively.

My novels #9: Kingdom of the Blind

JUDGE DREDD: Kingdom of the Blind (Black Flame, 2004)

The world's greatest cult comic book star, Judge Dredd, is back on the beat in Mega-City One. Senior Judges from around the world are gathering to sign an important treat and security in the city is tight. Notorious crime boss Jesus Bludd has evaded justice for decades, but now he's prepared to step out of the shadows for the first time and seize control of the Big Meg. For Dredd, it's a race against time before Bludd completely destroys the city.

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Blah, that's how I feel about this book. The tired, lacklustre back cover copy reprinted above? Blah. The recycled cover art, a piece I'd commissioned myself for 2000 AD as a pin-up? Blah. The novel itself? Blah. I don't think this is my worst written book, but I'd want good money before I bothered to crack the spine and read it. When Black Flame first started publishing novels based on iconic British sci-fi comic 2000 AD, I pitched a bunch of Dredd ideas. Having used the best of these for my previous effort, I didn't want to write any more. I'd done my time in the Big Meg, I was ready to move on.

Alas, my plans to adapt Russian rogue Nikolai Dante from four-colour thriller to pulse-pounding prose were still awaiting approval, as was the Freddy Krueger tale I wanted to tell. End result? I found myself writing a fifth Dredd novel, simply for the money. That's not enough motivation in my experience to devote more than a month of your life to staring at a computer screen, creating a new story. It was having your teeth pulled while trying to get blood from a stone. Hateful.

In the end I sprinkled the novel with as many soft core sex scenes as I could get away with [and a few more that got removed by the editorial team of the time], simply to sustain my own interest. But I swore I'd never, ever, ever write another Judge Dredd novel - and so far I've stuck to that. Fortunately for me, Dredd novels just don't seel, so it's unlikely I'll ever neeed go down this route again. Avoid.

Sarah Jane audios in Big Finish Xmas sale!

Two years ago I was lucky enough to write a series of four audio adventures featuriing former Doctor Who companion Sarah Jane Smith. This was long before the character was given her own TV series, The Sarah Jane Adventures, which has just featured a cracking run on the BBC. Now Big Finish has included my quartet of Sarah Jane stories in its Xmas sale, for the bargain price of only £20.

That's four hours of gripping audio entertainment, all directed with aplomb by John Ainsworth. Take advantage of this limited offer, or find out more about the individual stories by clicking the relevant title - Buried Secrets, Snow Blind, Fatal Consequences or Dreamland.

My novels #8: Bad Moon Rising

JUDGE DREDD: Bad Moon Rising (Black Flame, 2004)

It's Friday the 13th and a bad moon rises over Mega-City One. With weather control off-line in Sector 87, the heat is rising along with tension and the crazies are out in force. In the midst of this madness Judge Dredd is drafted in to enforce the law during the busy graveyard shift.

But, when human xenophobes strike against an alien ghetto in Sector 87, things get a whole lot worse and the tension spills onto the streets! With the City-Def squads turning vigilante and sliens with psi-powers running around, Dredd must stop the riot before it engulfs the whole sector!

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You know what? I'm not sure I'd ever bothered to read the back cover copy for this novel until just now, when I had to re-type it for this blog posting. Yikes, that's not good writing. Normally for a novel I write a version of what I envisage as the back cover copy during the pitchng process. It's a wonderfully succinct way of demonstrating to commissioning editors how the book could be sold to potential readers and buyers. I'm sure I did that for Bad Moon Rising, but I sure as hell didn't write what ended up on the back cover of the book.

Anyway, on to the novel itself. In 2003 Games Workshop had built a growing publishing empire based upon its Warhammer and Warhammer 40K fantasy and sci-fi gaming brands. The company decided to get into licensed franchise fiction, and negotiated with US film studio New Line the rights to publish original novels and novelisations based on New Line movies. They also struck a deal with computer games developer Rebellion to publish original novels based on characters published in the iconic British science fiction comic 2000 AD [which Rebellion owns]. Games Workshop even set up a special imprint to house these two lines of books, called Black Flame.

I can't remember the details of how I got involved with Black Flame - being a hungry freelancer, it's likely I approached the new imprint for work. I've always wanted to write a movie novelisation, having read so many of them while growing up. Black Flame already had authors lined up for its initial batch of New Line tomes, but needed authors who could write for the 2000 AD line. Since I've got previous in that area [three Dredd novels for Virgin Books in the early 1990s], I was a good fit.

In truth, I had no urge to write another Dredd novel. I'd done that ten years earlier and didn't want to retread old ground. But I got the feeling returning to the Big Meg for one last visit would win me favour with the commissioning editor, and it had been a while - maybe I had one last Dredd novel left in me? The result was Bad Moon Rising, not a bad little yarn. I was hooked on the TV series 24 at the time, so I adopted a version of that storytelling format, with the events of each chapter taking place over the course of an hour. It gave the story momentum and forced me to structure my plot with care and attention.

I haven't read the book since I wrote it, but my memories of Bad Moon Rising are positive, so I guess it's probably alright. What I really want to do was spread my wings and tackle other characters, something that might stretch me more as a writer. I'd put in a proposal for A Nightmare on Elm Street novel, but that was stuck on a desk at New Line, awaiting approval. I was also interested in writing Nikolai Dante novels, having helped develop the character when it was first launched in 2000 AD. But that would have to wait until the imprint got on its feet.

Here's a fact that struck a nerve on Bad Moon Rising. Ten years earlier I'd written my first novel, a Dredd story called The Savage Amusement. Virgin paid me £3000 for the book, including an all-rights buy-out, so I got no royalties. for subsequent books I renegotiated my deal to take a smaller advance but with the added incentive of royalties.

The Black Flame deal was simple: £3000, no royalties, and an extra 5000 words required for the manuscript. Ten years after my first novel, I was back writing Judge Dredd and getting the same money for more work. It felt like I wasn't making much progress as a writer, either creatively or financially. Despite that, Bad Moon Rising wasn't a bad book. Wish I could say the same of my next novel.

Ten groovy posters for Michael Caine films

Deadlines loometh, so here are ten favourite posters for Michael Caine films, in no particular order. I've tended to pick images from the 1960s and 1970s, because the graphic design elements are strongest and most eyecatching in that period. Gotta say, the 1980s is not a great period for film posters, at least not for movies starring Michael Caine - and let's not even talk about the 1990s.

Don't blink, or you'll miss December too

Not quite sure where the year's gone, but apparently it's December as of yesterday. Before you know it Christmas will be upon us, followed by Hogmanay and then it'll be 2008. Reminds me of the time I misplaced 1992. I was writing a cheque for some bill and couldn't for the life of me remember it was 1993, not 1992. I mean, it's not like I don't remember bits of 1992. That was the year I switched from freelancer to full-time employee, going on staff with Egmont as editor of the Judge Dredd Megazine. I stayed on staff for eight and a quarter years, before quitting to become freelance again.

Now it's December, the pre-Christmas crush comes into full effect. Most creative industries effectively shut down from a few days before the public holiday to a few days after January 1st, depending on when dates fall in relation to weekend and the like. While certain people will have to work some days in that period, the bulk of editors and commissioners are on holiday. As a consequence, material needs to reach them at least a week before they vanish on holiday, or else it simply won't get read. Parties, hangovers and regrets all impinge on reading time.

If you're freelancer, there's a simple fact that pervades life - if you're not working, you're not earning. Royalties and residuals are lovely, but you can't depend upon those until they're already in your bank account. So the festive season can leave a big, fat hole in freelancer finances. It's anyway between two and four weeks where if you don't already have commissioned work to do, you won't be getting any new gigs to pay the bills. Often you won't have a deadline until the end of January, which means you won't see fresh money until the end of February.

So November and December are all about ignoring your Squirrel Nutkin urge to go out and party. Freelancers need to be working, they need to be earning and they need to be stockpiling some money. Bills don't stop coming due, just because it's Christmas, and there's all those presents to buy as well. To cap it all off, the Inland Revenue expects a large payment from freelancers at the end of January. If you haven't been putting money aside, the next eight weeks can become a mad scramble to find the funds that'll foot the taxman's bill. Save now, or regret later.

All of which means there's a lot of freelance creatives working this weekend - and I'm one of them. Wrote five thousand words yesterday, and I need to produce a similar amount today. So, it's time for a spot of breakfast, a bracing cup of coffee and a long day of staring at the computer screen until my eyeballs bleed. Wish me luck.

New Zealand film trailers

Stumbled upon a site devoted to providing links for online trailers of New Zealand films. Not all the links work, but those that do offer a fascinating snapshot of different stages in the development of Kiwi cinema, from primitive early efforts through to the current era when the likes of Peter Jackson can take home 11 Oscars. If you want to see what New Zealand arthouse looks like, try the trailers for two Vincent Ward features, Vigil and The Navigator.