Sunday, December 31, 2006

Tintin and the Deus Ex Machina

For Christmas I got two omnibus editions of Tintin adventures. I used to love reading Tintin as a boy, enjoying the character's adventures with his dog Snowy, Captain Haddock, the Thomson/Thompson Twins and Professor Calculas. I opened the first volume with glee and started reading Tintin in America.

It's rubbish. The artwork's great, Tintin is the same as he ever was and Snowy is there too, but none of the other supporting cast are present - I'm guessing they'll be added in subsequent adventures. That's fine, that's not a problem - my difficulty is with the storytelling. It's driven by coincidence after coincidence, with Tintin needing one deus ex machina after another to save himself.

Tintin gets trapped inside an armour plated taxi? He just happens to have packed a saw and cuts his way out. Tintin gets shoved into a meat grinding machine at a sausage factory? The entire workforce decides to go on strike at that very moment and downs their tools. And there are many, many similar examples, all equally exasperating. I'm hopeful Tintin in America is an aberration and the storytelling gets better, otherwise one of my childhood joys is about to be extinguished.

Oh well, there's always the adventures of Asterix.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

James Brown has left the building

Legendary soulman James Brown died on Christmas Day after a tempestuous and ground-breaking career and life. His first hit in America was 50 years ago, but he was still performing and still packing 'em in. His only Top 10 hit in the UK was Living in America from the film Rocky IV, twenty years ago. US magazine Entertainment Weekly pointed out the link below and here it is for your entertainment. The sound quality is even worse than the picture, but here's a ropey old tape - courtesy of YouTube - of the day when James Brown performed an impromptu jam on the same stage with Michael Jackson and then Prince. Judging by Prince's clothes and Jackson's appearance, this probably dates to around 1986 or 1987, when both the younger men were near their peak. Will they both still be packing 'em in when they're 73? My money's on Prince.

Friday, December 29, 2006

You can't even say bwiefing

My all-time favourite episode of The West Wing is from the first season. For me, Celestial Navigation has got it all - tons of comedy, an interesting narrative structure laden with flashbacks and all the main characters get wonderful sequences. Toby is being even more of an Eeyore than usual, Josh is coming unglued in front of the White House press corps, Charlie tries waking the president up after Bartlett's only had three hours of sleep - and many, many more such moments. But perhaps the funniest is CJ suffering before and after root canal surgery. People in pain who can't talk right, that's intrinsically funny. Yes, if you've never suffered in the same way.

You can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

No, I haven't had emergency root canal surgery - at least, not yet. I've spent the past week suffering from a constant, dull throbbing pain in my back right teeth and jaw. That would become a sharp, throbbing pain in the same area whenever I bit down on, well, anything. Lunch on Christmas Day was not as much fun as it should have been, but I softened the pain with copious amounts of alcohol. Four days before Christmas I tried to get an appointment with the local dentist, without much success.

Seems the local health authority deems that anybody registered as an NHS patient [meaning you pay a lot less for treatment] but doesn't see their dentist at least once every 15 months gets dumped. Of course, nobody had told me this. My last appointment was cancelled by the local dental health centre 18 months ago. I assumed they would schedule a new appointment for me - wrong. The onus is all on the patient to keep visiting the dentist if they want to maintain their NHS registration.

So when I called four days before Christmas in considerable pain, all I could get was an "emergency" appointment for a week later. I phoned round every dentist within a twenty mile radius of the house: the best any of them could offer was an emergency appointment at the end of January. Call me old fashioned, but if a problem can wait a month it isn't much of an emergency.

Yesterday was Thursday and I went along for treatment. The dentist discovered not one, but two holes in my teeth - one so big it was described as being like "Mary Poppins' bag". In the end she had to remove part of a filling to get access, had another gouge round near the nerve ending and came to the conclusion I had problems. No, really? A temporary filling was inserted and I've been sent away for two months to see how that does. When I go back in February, I can expect to spend some considerable time - and probably even more money - suffering while the dentist goes mining in my teeth.

So, that's something to look forward to, yes? Come February I won't be able to say Bwiefing. Or Foggy Bottom. Can't wait.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Fiends of the Rising Sun: cover revealed


Amazon has posted the covers for my new novels being published in 2007. Above you can see the image for Fiends of the Rising Sun, in which US pilots, soldiers, sailors and marines fight Japanese vampyr in 1941 and 1942. Over on the right hand side of this blog I've added links so you can find out more about the book from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. Below is the front cover A Murder in Marienburg, my first Warhammer novel - that's a police procedural set in a fantasy universe.

New Year's Resolutions for 2007

Making New Year's resolutions always feels like hanging out nuts out the window of a speeding car while driving past a pea-shooters and sling-shot users convention: you're tempting fate. Making New Year's resolutions and then publishing them on a blog: much the same as in the previous sentence, but you're painted a target on your testicles and given the conventions advance warning of your obscene passing. Still, everybody needs targets to shoot at and here are mine for the coming year.

Blog every day. Vicious Imagery recently sped past 600 posts to date, so one new post a day every day during 2007 should get me close to 1000 posts in total.

Complete my screenwriting MA - ideally, with Distinction. I've got 60 credits thus far, all achieved with distinction. Apparently that's good enough for a certificate of some sort - not unlike swimming 25 metres in your pyjammas - but I'd like to get the full MA. Never having been to university before, it's scratching an itch. The need for Distinction? It's the competitive streak in me, plus it'll be some sort of proof I have a future in the industry, however irrelevant having an MA in screenwriting is.

Write no novels between January and June. That may seem an odd resolution, as lots of people dream about getting a novel published. Trust me, the novelty wears off after the first 15 or 16. Writing a novel takes time and I want to concentrating on other things in the first half of 2007.

Write a novel or three between July and December. Having established two new series with my last two novels, I'd like to return to one or both of them next year, see how my characters are getting along, find out what's happening in their lives.

Worry less about money and concentrate more on writing. When you're freelance, it's awfully hard to turn down paying work. Bills keep coming whether or not you're earning, as last week's missive from the Inland Revenue Department will have brought home to plenty of freelancers nationwide. They want a four or five figure sum at the end of January, you're got credit card bills from Christmas to pay and the January sales have began, tempting you to spend when you should be scrimping and saving. But I don't want to spend another year taking on work simply to pay the bills, when it doesn't advance my career goals. I need to be working towards something greater than clearing an overdraft.

Get another radio play commissioned. The elphantine gestation period for radio drama in the UK means that even if I do get another commission, there's no guarantee it would be broadcast in 2007 - so securing the commission is a better, more achievable goal. Doing the radio drama writer's lab reinvigorated my enthusiasm for radio as a storytelling medium, and it's the perfect place for several of my ideas.

Get a TV drama broadcast credit. This is not going to be easy, and it's unlikely I'll get a writing credit within twelve months from where I am now - highly unlikely. But there are other ways to break into TV and I'll be pursuing as many as I can. I didn't do the TAPS script editing for TV wrokshop just to make myself a better writer, though it can't have hurt - I'm genuinely interested in working with other writers and helping them make their scripts better. That sounds a lot like the role of a script editor to me. Plus there's storylining for continuing series dramas. So, more than one way to skin a cat.

Finish the mentoring project with a good calling card pilot script to my credit. I want to get the most out of these nine months working under Adrian Mead's guidance and I'm not sure I've managed that so far, having been writing two 100,000 novels back-to-back while pursing numerous other opportunities. So, the remaining five months on the project are crucial [hence the no new novels resolution, above].

Finish my MA with a strong, feature length script to my credit. That's the final project on the course and what everything is working towards. Have I decided what my screenplay will be about yet? No, but that's probably a good thing, for now. Push will be coming to shove on that, soon enough.

Get an agent. I've bumbled along thus far without the aide of or need for an agent. Most of the books I've written have been under boilerplate contracts where terms rarely vary and for the sort of money that's hardly worth an agent's time or energy. But now I've starting to get some traction in radio and am hoping to pursue a career writing TV drama, securing the services of an agent will make me much more credible to production companies. There are working writers in TV who get by without an agent, but having one marks you out as a safer bet for script editors and executive producers. You have more credibility because somebody else within the profession have seen and acknowledged your expertise by agreeing to represent you. Get an agent and, hopefully, you'll get some meetings - the stone starts rolling. It's no guarantee of success or ever getting work, but it's a step in the right direction.

Take proper holidays. This year I had a week off in June and that was about it. A few days going to LA and back for a Doctor Who convention was not dissimilar to a holiday, but really that was about working and networking. Even the Christmas and New Year break hasn't been much of a break. I'm spending three days cutting and polishing my latest novel before reading the proofs for its predecessor, plus sorting out my study and getting all my work prepped for the New Year. To me a holiday has to be at least a week long, away from home and with no work packed in your bags. It's a chance to switch off, leave the creative batteries recharge and to savour your successes. That doesn't mean you don't have ideas on holiday, or that the subconscious isn't hard at work on your next project or four, but a holiday should be a conscious break from working. We all need to step back and relax every now and then, otherwise writing becomes just another job, a chore - and where's the joy in that?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

My report card for 2006: final tallies

So, as part of my annual self-review process, what did I do this past year? I finished one novel - Fiends of the Eastern Front: Twilight of the Dead - and wrote two more: A Murder in Marienburg and Fiends of the Rising Sun. The former is a police procedural set in the fantasy world of Warhammer, while the latter is what marketing people call a brand extension. My Fiends of the Eastern Front trilogy of novels featured Rumanian vampyr fighting on the Eastern Front during WWII, inspired by an old 2000 AD series created by Gerry Finlay-Day and Carlos Ezquerra. The books proved enough of a success to make the publisher ask for more in the same vein [pun intended], ideally with American soldiers as the heroes. So, no prizes for guessing that Fiends of the Rising Sun pits US Marines, pilots, sailors and soldiers against Japanese vampyr.

What else did I write in 2006? Five scripts for The Phantom, three of those based on plots supplied by another writer. Several text features for the Judge Dredd Megazine. Six episodes of a Fiends comic serial, also for the mighty Meg. My first radio play, broadcast during Women's Hour in June. I turned my articles about the history of 2000 AD into a massive tome to be published in 2007. Plus there was all my work for college, the mentoring project, the radio writers' lab, the TAPS script editing for TV course and various other, non-paying endeavours. I estimate I wrote about 420,000 words for publication or broadcast in 2006 - not as much as my half million words in 2005, but the MA and other long-term goal pursuits crunched my time.

The new year lurks like a big lurky thing, only a few days in our collective futures. It's traditional to come up with some resolutions of things you'd like to achieve in the next twelve months. Will need to give that some thought - I'll get back to you tomorrow. In the meantime, here's an unlikely but fun moment from the film Crossroads as Ralph "The Katate Kid" Macchio irks his tutor at Julliard...

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Films of Michael Caine #41: Educating Rita


Cast: Michael Caine (Dr Frank Bryant), Julie Walters (Rita), Michael Williams (Brian), Maureen Lipman (Trish), Jeananne Crowley (Julia), Malcolm Douglas (Denny).

Crew: Lewis Gilbert (director and producer), Willy Russell (writer), David Hentschel (music), Frank Watts (cinematography), Garth Craven (editor), Maurice Fowler (art direction).

Synopsis: Rita is a 26-year-old hairdresser who wants to better herself. She enrols for an Open University course on English literature and begins taking tutorials with Dr Frank Bryant, a drunken lecturer who used to be a poet. Rita’s husband Denny wants children but she wants to discover herself first. When Denny gives Rita an ultimatum, she chooses learning ahead of him. Rita begins flatting with Trish, a glamorous woman who seems to have all the answers. Frank receives a final warning from the college after trying to deliver a lecture while drunk. Rita is now able to recite poetry from memory and will pass her exam with ease, but Frank dismisses all that, saying she has just swapped one life for another. When Trish tries to commit suicide, Rita realises what her own odyssey has been about. She now has choices. Rita sits the exam and passes with distinction. Frank is leaving for a two-year sabbatical in Australia. Rita declines the chance to accompany him, but gives Frank a haircut as a going away present.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Educating Rita started life as a stage play by Willy Russell, with Julie Walters originating the leading role. Director-producer Lewis Gilbert acquired the film rights, hiring Russell to adapt his own script for the cinema. When the project was turned down by all the major studios, Gilbert raised the $6 million budget from bankers in the City of London. He began shooting the film without a distribution deal in place, a move that gave him the freedom to cast whomever he wanted in the two main roles.

‘The stories about Dolly Parton are true,’ Gilbert told Films and Filming in 1985. ‘The studios wanted her to play Rita and the film to be set in America.’ Executives also wanted Rita and Frank to end up in bed together. Gilbert retained Walters from the original stage production. The director chose Caine to be drunken lecturer Frank. The pair had worked together on Alfie (1966), a film that won international acclaim and earned Caine his first Oscar nomination. ‘Michael has matured and progressed as an actor,’ Gilbert said. ‘He was well cast in Alfie, but there are things in Educating Rita he couldn’t have done 16 years previously. He just gets better and better.’

To prepare for the part Caine transformed himself physically, putting on weight and growing a full beard. ‘When I played Frank, I based him on two people I know,’ Caine said in his acting masterclass. ‘While I knew what it was like to be drunk, alcoholism was another thing; and I had no concept of how a university lecturer behaves – I’d never been to a university. I based Frank-the-lecturer partly on a writer friend of mine named Robert Bolt, who was a great teacher. I’d seen him talking and explaining, I knew his manner. And for Frank-the-alcoholic I imagined myself to be another friend of mine named Peter Langan, someone who behaved like an alcoholic of truly historic proportions. I amalgamated the two people to make Frank.’

Caine said it would have been a cliché for Rita and Frank to fall into bed with each other. ‘I felt very strongly that although Frank does fall in love with Rita, it’s never spoken about and is totally unrequited. I gained 35 pounds and grew a beard because there should never have been the possibility of Rita’s being sexually attracted to this fat old drunk.’

Educating Rita was filmed entirely on location in the Republic of Ireland during the summer of 1982. For five weeks the production was based in Dublin’s Trinity College while all the students were away on holiday. Another five weeks followed shooting in and around the capital city. Fake snow was used on the college quad to simulate winter.

Caine has frequently said the film is among his favourite performances. ‘It was a big character change for me,’ he told Venice magazine in 2002. ‘Up until that point I’d playing Michael Caine-ish in everything. The most extraordinary thing about that role for me was that I could find nothing of myself in it. He was the farthest away from myself I’d ever been with a character, which is the ideal place for an actor to be. Julie Walters really helped to make me look good. She’d never done a movie before. She’d done the play, so she was very into the characters, but I thought she played down, into the style of film acting, just beautifully. A lot of theatre actors would have gone over the top with it.’

The film was released across Britain with a 15 rating in April 1983, attracting rave reviews and grossing nearly $4 million at the box office. It reached America in September that year. Initially rated an R, that was reduced to PG on appeal. Again, critical reaction was overwhelmingly positive and it grossed nearly $15 million during a six-month run in cinemas. At the end of 1983 Educating Rita was included in many critic’s top ten film lists for the year, leading to a strong showing in the major cinema awards.

Caine and Walters both won Golden Globe awards as best actor and actress in a musical or comedy. The pair also won acting awards at the BAFTAs and Gilbert received the best film trophy. At the Oscars, Caine, Walters and Russell were all nominated but left empty-handed. Best Actor went to Robert Duvall for Tender Mercies (1983) – the only American among the five nominees. Caine would have to wait nearly twenty years before receiving another best actor nomination.

Educating Rita was first released on VHS in 1986. A budget price DVD version was issued during 1999 in the UK. In the BFI’s 1999 poll to find the Top 100 British movies of the twentieth century, Educating Rita was one of seven Caine pictures on the list, being voted 84th best film. In 2002 there were rumours of a remake starring Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Halle Berry.

Reviews: ‘This is a master film actor’s performance. The goal of Caine’s technique seems to be to dissolve all vestiges of “technique”. He lets nothing get between you and the character he plays.’ – New Yorker
‘Caine’s unselfish partnering of the newcomer [Julie Walters] doesn’t conceal the finesse that now shades his every appearance on the screen…’ – Evening Standard

Verdict: Educating Rita is a wonderful film, blessed by fine performances from the two leads. On the surface the plot has echoes of Pygmalion and My Fair Lady, but this film covers more than matters of class or accent. Educating Rita is also about self worth, personal freedom and making choices. Caine stretches himself, showing how far he had grown as an actor. It’s not just the physical transformation that is startling, but the depth of emotional on display in the eyes and the voice. Compare that with the lazy kickabout that was Caine’s performance in Victory (1981) just two years earlier. Walters shines as Rita, giving no hint this is her first major film role. Gilbert directs with deft simplicity, giving Russell’s poignant and funny script a fitting vehicle. You only need to imagine a Hollywood remake of the story to realise how restrained and sensitive this version is. The only sour note comes from the grating, cod-classical synthesiser score. It badly dates what should be a timeless film. Otherwise, Educating Rita is close to perfect.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Forgotten festive films

Lots of other bloggers have been selecting their Top 10 Christmas movies of late and there have been many excellent suggestions. Gremlins is a particular favourite, for being a darker take on the festive season - one character has an aversion to Christmas because their father died after getting stuck inside the chimney. I haven't seen Gremlins for years [even though it was on TV the other day, I still missed it], but talk about it got me thinking of other films with a frequently forgotten festive element. Here's one of my favourites...

THE SURE THING
The Sure Thing is an early Rob Reiner comedy and is chockful of young actors who would go on to greater things: Tim Robbins, Antony Edwards [who'd both be in Top Gun, thought whether or not that's a greater thing than most is up for debate], the slutty blonde woman from Desperate Housewives and John Cusack from his 80s teen idol phase. The Sure Thing is a road trip to California that takes place at Christmas and is a heartfelt hoot from start to finish. Best bit? Well, there are many: "driving with a load unsecured" is a favourite, but for festive feeling try John Cusack in a bar with some drunks singing The Christmas Song very, very badly. Altogether now: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your toes..."

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Lesser spotter From Script to Screen student

So I went in to college on Friday for the last session of the year. The weekly Script Development Workshop module had been called off in the afternoon due to a bent pitch [old joke for you The Day Today fans], and the impending festive frolics meant a high degree of truancy was likely for the Friday morning session. I think there's meant to be between 20 and 30 in the class - six of us turned up on Friday. Having played hooky the previous Friday to work on my 18th novel [and having finished the first draft on Thursday - flippin' hooray], I missed the giving back of our marks for our first pieces of assessed work. So, what were the scores on the doors?

On the From Script to Screen module, we had to chose a sequence from a film adapted from a novel or play. An exhaustive shot analysis of our sequence was required, along with a 2000 word essay discussing how the sequence differed from source to adaptation and what effect this had upon meaning. I did the diner sequence from A History of Violence and thought I made a decent fist of it, but nothing spectacular. Two thousand words doesn't allow a vast amount of depth of debate, unless you're writing haiku. So it was a pleasant surprise when I got a D1 for my efforts.

There are three main categories of mark and five sub-categories within each of them. You can get F, P or D - fail, pass or distinction. A 5 indicates you're at the top of that category, a 1 indicates you're just within that category. So my D1 indicates an essay and shot analysis deemed worthy of distinction - just. I was expecting a P, so getting a D1 was a happy event.

For the Script Development Workshop, we had to write a treatment for the script we wish to write. I did Danny's Toys, a long-cherished project of mie, and got some very good comments along with a D1. All in all, a very satisfactory pair of results for this stage of first trimester - especially considering I missed half the sessions due to taking part in TAPS script editing, the radio drama lab and stuff.

Friday, December 22, 2006

How cool is that: Shield Season 5 DVD cover


I know everybody raves about The Wire, but The Shield is one of my favourite US cop shows of the past five years. The wonderful TV Shows on DVD website in America has just posted the DVD cover for Season 5 [see above}. Dang, now that's a good cover - visually arresting, and a perfect evocation of the blood-soaked odyssey Vic and the cast go through during Season 5. Can't wait too get my hands on this - and to see Season 6, natch.

Mentioned in dispatches

Script writer and reader Danny Stack has named me as his Blogger of the Year, which is nice if something of a surprise. Apparently my hard work and dedication as an inspiration, and he describes Vicious Imagery as being like a UK version of Dead Things on Sticks (which is well worth a look). Consider me chuffed!

My report card for 2006: September-December

Yesterday I finished the first draft of a project that's been consuming all my time for weeks. Trust me, writing a third of a novel the week before Christmas is not recommended, but that's still better than writing a novel on Christmas Day to meet a deadline. Severeal times in the past week I haven't been able to remember what day it is, so cast adrift have I been from reality. But now I can wind down, sleep in and generally take things a bit easier - thank grud. Before I head off to college today - yes, one of our tutors has us coming in for a session three days before Christmas - here's the final part of my report card for 2006.

September:
Started the month by getting invited to write half an episode’s worth of sample scenes for the BBC Scotland soap River city. This is step two along the long road towards writing for the show. A whole bunch of writers, including several of my acquaintance, were asked to do their try-out exercise. Unfortunately, the show was double-banking for months afterwards and as 2006 winds to a close, there’s been no official feedback on these yet. I’ve had my fingers crossed for so long people ask me whether I’m double-jointed. No, not really, but you know I mean.

What else? Wrote a piece for Comics International’s 200th issue – for which Dez Skinn still hasn’t paid me. Apparently he’s sold the magazine, so I guess I’ll never see my money now. Come on, Dez, it’s only seventy-five quid! Put your hand in your pocket, why don’t you? Spent most of the month writing my first novel set in the Warhammer fantasy universe. It’s called A Murder in Marienburg and is due out May 2007. A right rollicking read, with death, monsters and unseemly jokes about dumplings. And I wrote another Phantom script from somebody else’s plot. By the time I’d finished the script, it had about 30% of the original plot left and the rest was new material.

Went to London for an event at BAFTA HQ about writing for interactive entertainment that proved something of a damp squib. Still, nice to get out the house for a change. Had the first mentoring meeting and choose entirely the whole project to develop. Twit.

October:
Finished my Warhammer novel – think Hill St Blues collides with Lord of the Rings. But without poetry, thank grud. Got more than a hundred pounds in royalties for one of the worst novels I’ve ever written. Doctor Who: The Domino Effect sucks like a black hole, but it keeps making me money. Better still, got a nice fat royalty cheque for the second edition of my Inspector Morse tome, a book I’m actually proud of. That felt good. Wrote a feature for the Judge Dredd Megazine about TV crime drama, but that needed a couple of passes to get write.

Started year two of my part-time MA screenwriting course at Screen Academy Scotland. The new screenwriting tutor James is full of bonhomie. Less than impressed by the work of Robert Bresson when we watch L’Argent in our other module, From Script to Screen. This is an academic module rather than a vocational one, so I struggle to get the most out of it some weeks.

November:
Am fortunate enough to be invited on a six-day radio drama writer’s lab with seven unfeasibly talented scribes. This came at just the right time for me, as I realised the TV project I was developing under the mentorship of Adrian Mead and the film script I’d been developing at college had gone breasts vertical simultaneously. Happily, the lab reminded me why I enjoy writing and reignited my creativity when things were at a low, low ebb. On the minus side, it meant I missed three Fridays in a row at college. Feel like I’ve hardly been there this trimester, an irksome fact, especially when I’m paying more than £500 a trimester for the privilege. Arsebiscuits.

First pieces of assessed work for the trimester were due round on the cusp between November and December. Wrote 2000 words comparing the diner sequences from the original graphic novel A History of Violence and David Cronenberg’s film adaptation. For the script development module, I went back to the idea I pitched to get on the MA course and turned that into a treatment for a 25-minute animated film. I’m no illusions it will ever get made, but the story is touching and quirky and people respond to the way I tell it, so Danny’s Toys might make a good calling card script for life after college.

Started my 18th novel in November but didn’t make much progress, thanks to the radio lab, college and other distractions – so that slid over into December. Did write a Phantom script and that was all my own work, so I got the whole fee. Best of all, it turned up in my bank account today, just in time to pay for Christmas.

December:
Started the month by ditching another Friday at college to fly south to London for the TAPS script editing course. Two fascinating days where I learnt a lot and meet some interesting people. Made some progress on my new project that Adrian is mentoring, got more work to do on that in January before it’s time to start scripting that. Bulk of the month was devoted to finishing my 18th novel, another 100,000 word monster (as was A Murder In Marienburg, novel #17). Typed THE END on the first draft yesterday and have officially given myself the next four days off work – the closed thing I’ve had to a holiday since June. Need to cut and polish the draft for Black Flame before the end of the year i.e. next week, but that’s next week job – along with proofing my Marienburg tome.

So, what conclusions can I draw from all of this? Hmm, good question. Financially, it’s been a wash, my worst year for gross earnings since 2003 when I spent most of my time writing non-fiction books and articles. I always knew going to college would knock a hole in my earning, but I’m down seven and a half grand from 2006. But it’s an investment in my future – I wasn’t happy doing hackwork, I wanted to push myself as a writer and so much of what I’ve done this year has stemmed from that decision.

Starting the MA led to the one-day course with Adrian Mead, and that in turn led to him agreeing to mentor me on a TV project. My hope is that script and the scripts I’m developing at Screen Academy Scotland will get me an agent and maybe some meetings. Opportunities like the radio drama lab and the script editing workshop open other doors, other possibilities. I might not be making much money, but I can see new ways forward becoming clearer and more realistic.

Jobs for January? I need to write first and second drafts of Danny’s Toys for college, plus there’s a 3000-word essay about an imaginary remark of a pre-1980 film of my choice. Need to finish my treatment for the mentoring project. Got a couple of Phantom stories to plot and script, they’re my bread and butter jobs for January. Need to arrange meetings with a producer at BBC Radio and a script editor at BBC Scotland’s TV drama department. And the River City wannabe writers’ workshop is supposed to happen in January, before the show goes back into production, so if all that finger-crossing pays off the workshop will take precedence over everything else.

When the call comes, you’ve got to be ready. You only get so many chances, right?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Call yourself a film buff?

The Guardian has a fiendishly tricky film quiz up on its website. I got 25 out of 30, and I'm still not sure how since the only films I've seen at a cinema this year are Crank [brilliantly daft], Pirates: DMC [disappointing], Casino Royale [great, if a hair too long], Children of Men [wonderful], Night People [lovely] and Severance [gruesomely fun]. Have a go at the quiz, out-geek me if you can!

Money for writers under 31 in Scotland

The Dewar Arts Awards, set up in memory of the late Donald Dewar, awards bursaries in recognition of young talent across all art forms in Scotland. To date, fewer bursaries have been awarded for writing than other arts - so now's your chance! Any young person living and working or studying in Scotland can be nominated, up to the age of 30, if their financial circumstances make it difficult to progress fully in their chosen field. If you know of a talented young person who you think would benefit from a bursary to further their development as a writer, you can nominate them through the Dewar Awards web site. You can find out more about eligibility and how to apply by visiting the links shown several words ago. Alas and alack, I am waaaaay too old to qualify for this. Such is life.

I am a prize spanner

Tried to send vast hordes of people a digital Christmas card, having already given the cash to Cancer Research - and then forgot to attach the picture. Twit! In the unlikely event anyone reads this blog who got one of my no-tech emails, here's that missing picture in full...

My report card for 2006: May-August

When you're self-employed, there's nobody around to give you an annual review, so I'm doing my own. Here's part two, covering the long hot summer of 2006 that never quite seemed to end.

MAY:
Six months having elapsed since I originally wrote the first two episodes for my Fiends of the Eastern Front: Stalingrad strip for the Megazine, I had to go back and re-read Anthony Beevor’s key reference book on the subject. It’s amazing how much research you can do for a project and how little of it actually appears in print. All too often, research is simply another form of delaying writing, creative procrastination at its finest. I guess the other side of the coin is writers who, having done their exhaustive research, feel object to exhaust the audience with all that background too – hopefully I’m not like that. Anyways, I scripted part four this month and promised myself I’d write the story to a finish soon, to prevent the need for another trawl through Beevor. By this time artist Colin MacNeil was already hard at work on the strip and the first episode had been published, so the meter was running.

Went to a second one-day seminar given by writer-director Adrian Mead in Edinburgh, this time on the art of pitching for TV drama gigs. Another massively informative and entertaining day. Later that month I read about a scheme funded via the Scottish Book Trust’s words@work scheme, whereby writers at different stages of the career could apply to be mentored for nine months on a specific project. I was feeling frustrated with my MA screenwriting course, knowing that once trimester two finished the first-year part-timers would be cast adrift for four and a half months until our second year began; plus I didn’t feel there’d been much weight given to writing for TV drama. So, I applied to be mentored on a TV drama project of my own devising and suggested Adrian as my ideal mentor.

The interview to get on the course was fun, in its own way. I arrived thirty minutes late by mistake, walked in to discover an old acquaintance was half the interviewing panel and then was flummoxed when the panel asked what was the one project I wanted to develop that I needed a mentor to help me achieve it. I bluffed like crazy, inventing a story on the spot and managed to spin it into something that sounded both timely and dramatic. One day I might even go back to that idea and use it!

College rattled to the end of trimester two in May, so I had to prepare and present an audio-visual show-and-tell about my interactive entertainment project. I did a computer racing game and made not a bad job of the presentation, especially since I only allowed 48 hours to pull it all together using a piece of software I’d never tried before, Keynote for the Mac. Got a D2 distinction on the module, probably more than I deserved. The other module was Script Development for which I wrote a 10-minute script. I adapted the play I’d been writing for Radio 4 and found myself writing two different versions of the same story at the same time. Both versions informed the others, but I wouldn’t recommend adapting a property of your own that isn’t finished yet into another medium. Anyway, my 10-minute script earned me a D1, keeping up my run of distinction marks.

Meanwhile, my radio play went into the studio with the BBC. Went along to the recording day and learned a lot, discovering just how much you can cut from any script when time is pressing. Ironically, I had to leave after a single take of one scene from my script as I had an opening night to attend elsewhere.

June:
Got my first broadcast drama credit when Island Blue: Ronald was broadcast on Woman’s Hour, and repeated that evening. Lots of people got in touch to say nice things about it, which was nice. No college this month, so that freed up at least one day a week. Wrote the final four scripts for Fiends: Stalingrad and was quite happy with the result of my labours. Signed a contract with Games Workshop’s Black Flame imprint to write a 95,000 word novel in the autumn. Started work revising, updating and expanding my articles on the history of iconic weekly 2000 AD into a big, fat hardcover to be published next year, when the comic celebrates its 30th anniversary. Went on holiday, a week in a rented cottage in France – the only holiday I’d have all year, as it turned out.

When you’re freelance, taking holidays is a strange sensation. You desperately need the time off to wind down and give your creative headspace a chance to relax. Constant work and deadlines are great for the career and the bank balance, but the pressure builds and builds and builds – you got to give yourself a chance to let some steam off. Not having children, I don’t have the imposed pressure of school holidays that forces other freelancers to take time off, so I have to remember to take them.

The downside of holidays when you’re freelance is that not only are there no paid holidays [unless you’re a travel writer, I guess, and even that’s a busman’s holiday], but you’re spending money instead of earning money. It’s a double-whammy to your finances and, sadly, I haven’t been earning as much as I used to when I was in full-on hack-mode, churning work-for-hire at high speed and enjoying the benefits. Having decided to go to college to enhance my craft and improve my networking skills, I’m paying the price – literally. Three grand to do the MA as direct costs and no bursary for me, because I am Foreign Scum ®. Plus my earnings are down ten grand a year because of all the work I’ve turned down to do the course. Still, it was my choice and hopefully I’ll see my benefit in years to come. My writing’s gotten better as a result, so that’s something.

July:
Had a day trip to Durham where I was filmed for a documentary about Inspector Morse, part of a series called Super Sleuths. Of course, it was one of the year;s hottest days, so I was sweating like a pig by the end. The results have already been on ITV3 and may well make it on to ITV1 early in the new year. Wrote a piece for the Megazine about comics legend John Wagner and found it one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, critiquing the work of someone I’ve known and respected for 16 years. Not my bag at all. Signed contracts to write a novel for Games Workshop’s Black Library imprint. A Murder in Marienburg is out next May and, essentially, is a police procedural set in a fantasy universe, complete with halflings, elves, chaos cultists and the like. But the bulk of July was devoting to working on my 2000 AD history tome, Thrill-Power Overload (TPO).

August:
Finished work on TPO. That was pretty much the whole month, as the book turned into 120,000 word monster. Got accepted into the mentoring programme with Adrian as my mentor, and attended the induction day at Edinburgh. Most the mentors are working with a single scribe, but Adrian’s agreed to take on three would-be TV drama writers. Went to a Q&A session at the Edinburgh Film Festival that was billed as Writing for the BBC. It proved to be mostly about writing for the BBC Scotland soap River City, which suited me as I’d submitted material to the show back in early April and was still waiting on a response. Talked to executive producer Sandra MacIver and, fired up with fresh enthusiasm, went home and wrote an updated submission. With a bit of luck, that might be good enough to get me to the next step on a long road towards writing for TV.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Fiona & Frazer: talented sods!


While browsing the net I discovered this lovely piece by Fiona Staples and Frazer Irving, two talented artists with different styles yet they mesh wonderfully here. YOu can see more of Fiona's work at her site and there's a whole mess of FI goodness at Frazer's Interweb Chicanery. Just for fun, below is another example of them collaborating.

Genius: budgie smuggling madness

On the other side of the world from cold, frozen Blighty, my family are preparing to celebrate another Christmas in the middle of summer. My brother Andrew and his partner Tanya have just had their first baby, Rex, and the rest of the family is healthy, so that's all good. To celebrate the joys of summer in December, below is a rather droll TV ad from the Antipodes that ponders an eternal question: when does a swimming costume become underwear? In case you're wondering, togs is below-the-equator slang for a swimming costume, not a brand of nappies as it is up here. And the bit about budgie smuggling? A surreal moment of madness, I guess. Enjoy! [Thanks to Pete at Tyranny of the Blank Page for this link!]

My report card for 2006

When you're freelance, you don't get personal assessments or annual reviews imposed upon you. Unless you're the kind of person that develops a self-imposed business plan or has a grand, five-year strategic masterplan, it's easy just to bumble along, doing what you're doing and not looking much beyond paying the next set of bills and meeting your next deadlines. In an attempt to get some perpective on my working year, here's the first part of my report card for 2006.

JANUARY:
Completed my ninth novel in 27 months for publisher Black Flame. Fiend of the Eastern Front: Twilight of the Dead was the last book of a trilogy, and I made the mistake of setting aside Christmas and the New Year to finish the story. By the time it was done I had stress ulcers in my mouth and felt like I’d napalmed the candle at both ends. Decided I needed a proper break from novel writing and deemed 2006 my year for non-fiction books.

Finished the first two modules of the MA Screenwriting course I started in 2005, earning distinctions for both. Got a D3 grade for Writing and Screen Project Development, and scraped a D1 for The Business of Screen Project Development. Found it frustrating that I’d spent four months schlepping in and out of Edinburgh every Thursday on a screenwriting course but hadn’t done any actual screenwriting.
Started work on my first radio play for the BBC, a 15-minute drama called Island Blue: Ronald. It take four drafts and several hiccups along the way, but the end result was my first broadcast credit later in the year – an important breakthrough for my career.

The rest of January was devoted to revising and updating The Complete Inspector Morse for a new edition to be published later in the year by Reynolds & Hearn. Morse’s sidekick Lewis returned to TV in a one-off special and attracted 11 million viewers, the biggest non-soap audience for a drama in years – proof there was still life in the franchise yet, even if Morse himself was dead.

FEBRUARY:
Write two issues of The Phantom for Egmont Sweden. The first was part two of a two-parter, while the second was a script created from a supplied plotline. Was pretty happy with both efforts. The script-only effort was worth only 70% of my usual fee because somebody had written the plot, but I still put as much effort into getting it right as I would have done creating the whole story from scratch – such is life.

Interviewed comics artist Mark Harrison at length for a feature that ran in the Judge Dredd Megazine. Finished work on my Morse tome, but took no fee for that, preferring to have the book go straight to royalties when it went on sale in April. Flew to America for the Gallifrey Doctor Who convention in Los Angeles and had a wonderful time, but that and devoting so much time to Morse left me skint. Perhaps not the best confluence of circumstances, looking back.

Started the second trimester of my screenwriting MA, with modules on Script Development [at last, a chance to do some writing!] and Writing for Interactive Entertainment [a good idea for a module, but content proved lacking]. Attended a one-day seminar on writing TV drama given by Adrian Mead, who impressed when he spoke to students in my first trimester at college. Came away excited and enthused, always a good result. Also met writer Louise Ironside and got advice from her on how to approach BBC Scotland soap Rvier City as a would-be writer. Start watching the soap every week as the first step on a long road.

MARCH:
Plugging away at the MA. Got royalties from the BBC for one of the worst novels I’ve ever written, Doctor Who: The Domino Effect. More work on my radio play, final touches on the Morse tome. A month when I earned a grand total of £96.73. If I felt skint in February, I was certainly was skint in March.

APRIL:
After four years of hoping and pitching various publishers, finally signed a contract to turn my articles about the history of 2000 AD in a book to coincide with the comic’s 30th anniversary in 2007. It’ll be a big job, but would hopefully also be the capstone on five years of research and 17 years involvement with the comic.

Back in 2005 I’d started writing a six-part, 48-page serial for the Judge Dredd Megazine, based on an old 2000 AD strip about WWII vampires called Fiends of the Eastern Front [also the basis for the trilogy of novels I completed in January this year]. In April the new Megazine editor told me the strip would still be 48 pages, but now needed to be eight parts long. I had to cut the first two parts down by two pages each and write four new pages for part three – all for the love of it. So I did, but some hasty re-plotting followed!

The final draft of my radio play was accepted, an exciting moment especially since the previous draft had been deemed something of a disaster, going in all the wrong directions. I knew I’d gotten it right while I was writing it, as the script nearly had me in tears – not something my own work achieves that often.
The new edition of my Morse tome emerged and looked gorgeous. Hopefully it would sell and make me a few bob in royalties, especially after spending far too much time rewriting it and adding 10,000 words of new material.

Lastly, another script for The Phantom based on a supplied plot. This one never worked and, try as I might, I couldn’t fix the problems I saw in the plot. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and let these things go.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

This looks like fun...

One of my classmates among the second year part-timers on the MA Screenwriting course pointed me at this trailer for a project to which he contributed - looks like fun, Ali!

Films of Michael Caine #40: Deathtrap

Warning: If you haven't seen this film, the synopsis below features plot details that may spoil your enjoyment of the movie.

Cast: Michael Caine (Sidney Bruhl), Christopher Reeve (Clifford Anderson), Dyan Cannon (Myra Bruhl), Irene Worth (Helga ten Dorp), Henry Jones (Porter Milgrim), Joe Silver (Seymour Starger), Tony DiBenedetto (Burt, the Bartender), Al LeBreton (Handsome Actor).

Crew: Sidney Lumet (director), Burtt Harris (producer), Jay Presson Allen (writer), Johnny Mandel (music), Andrzej Bartkowiak (cinematography), John J Fitzstephens (editor), Tony Walton (production designer).

Synopsis: Sidney Bruhl used to write smash hit comedy thrillers for Broadway. But his last four plays have flopped and he is getting desperate. The playwright receives a wonderful script from a former pupil, Clifford Anderson. Sidney decides to murder the budding scribe and steal the play for himself. Sidney’s weak-hearted wife Myra is not sure whether he is being serious. When Clifford arrives, Myra unsuccessfully tries to talk Sidney out of murdering the young writer. Sidney chokes Clifford and buries him in a shallow grave. The Bruhls are visited by Dutch psychic Helga ten Dorp. She warns them there will be violence and pain in their house.

That night Clifford reappears and terrifies Myra so much she dies of a heart attack. Sidney and Clifford are lovers. They staged their elaborate charade with a fake play to frighten Myra to death. After her funeral Clifford becomes Sidney’s secretary. But the veteran playwright discovers Clifford is turning their crime into a play called Deathtrap. Sidney decides he must murder his lover, fatally wounding Clifford with a crossbow. Helga reappears and accuses Sidney of murder. A storm cuts off the electricity. In the confusion Clifford kills Sidney. Several months later the events are replayed on Broadway in the opening night of Deathtrap – a play by Helga ten Dorp…

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In the early 1980s Ira Levin’s Deathtrap held the record as Broadway’s longest running thriller. The creative pairing of screenwriter Jay Presson Allen and director Sidney Lumet collaborated on adapting the play for film. The duo had been Oscar-nominated for the screenplay of their previous project, Prince of the City (1981). Caine wanted to play the lead in Deathtrap but Allen had doubts about his suitability. The actor had been stuck in horror films and disaster movies for four years. Caine eventually persuaded Allen at a dinner party arranged by the actor’s agent.

Caine described his preparations for the part to interviewer W. J. Weatherby: ‘You look at what the character does and says, and then try to figure out what kind of person he is. What came out for me in studying Deathtrap was that my character was simply criminally insane. Just crazy. That was the only way to translate the theatrical quality into a realistic medium – make his behaviour crazy. But I also try to play this insane character as a real person with human quirks. I see him as a born nut. He’s been under terrific pressure … the pressure has brought out things that were already in him but were under control, until separated failures turn him more and more into a desperate character. It’s a study of a menopausal nut case.’ Caine was keen to highlight the macabre comedy elements: ‘The theatricality has been toned down, but the humour’s still there. I’d forgotten just how funny it is, a comedy hidden inside a thriller. The thing I really enjoy doing is comedy, but nobody gives anything to me that’s funny.’

The film was shot in the spring of 1981, almost entirely on studio sets in New York’s East Harlem. A few exterior sequences were added to open out the play, with scenes set in a Broadway theatre book-ending the movie. Lumet also shot exteriors of a converted windmill house in East Hampton as the Bruhls’ home in the country.

Deathtrap featured a gay kiss between Caine and his on-screen lover Christopher Reeve. ‘Neither of us had kissed a guy on the lips before,’ Caine told Premiere in 1999. ‘We had a pact that neither of us would loosen our lips. We practised the scene over and over again so we wouldn’t blow the lines or anything, it was the most well-rehearsed scene – except for the kiss. It’s one of those things that if you don’t want to do it again, you have got to throw yourself into it with tremendous enthusiasm so everyone thinks it wonderful.’ The scene was completed in a single take. ‘If you’re gay, that’s fine, but if you’re not, it’s bloody difficult to kiss a man.’

The film opened in the US during March 1982. Initially rated an R by the MPAA, this was reduced to PG on appeal. The picture received a muted reaction from critics, although Caine and Reeve were praised for their performances. Deathtrap grossed nearly $20 million in America. In Britain the movie was given an A rating. Again, reviews were mixed but Caine got good notices. After appearing in the likes of Victory (1981), The Island (1980) and Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979), Deathtrap was seen as a return to form for the actor.

The film was released on VHS in the UK during 1986, reclassified as a PG. The video has been unavailable in Britain for nearly a decade. It is available on DVD and VHS in the US.

Reviews: ‘Caine … is the main pleasure of a concoction that otherwise depends for its effect on a succession of ever more unlikely surprises.’ – The Guardian
‘The chief surprise is Michael Caine. Here as beleaguered Bruhl, firing off incensed aphorisms at all passers, he’s a joy.’ – The Financial Times

Verdict: Deathtrap is an adequate thriller with plenty of plot twists and turns, but it suffers by comparison with the superior Sleuth (1972). Both are adaptations of hit stage plays featuring Caine, both revolve around two men trying to outsmart each other and both feature murderous machinations and intrigues. Where Sleuth wins out is a stronger, tauter script and the presence of Laurence Olivier. Reeve is good, but no match for one of Britain’s finest actors. Deathtrap never escapes its stage origins, with Lumet’s attempts to open it out cursory at best. The climatic ending is fumbled, as choppy editing renders the denouement unclear. Caine gives a strong performance as Bruhl, giving the character unwritten depth and believability. But the gay kiss looks more like two friends trying to avoid sharing a cold sore. Deathtrap is worth watching – but only once.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Pictured: three people destined to burn in Hell

Adaptation: be true to the spirit of the source

The Writers' Guild of America (West) has an interesting article up on its website about adaptations, talking with screenwriters who have adapted various source materials for film - incuding novelists who have seen their original work adapted by others and had a hand in adapting their own work themselves. Apparently about sixty per cent of all feature films of adaptations, and it's been a subject much debated on my MA screenwriting course this trimester. Anyway, the article's well worth a look, if such things interest you... [Thanks to the WGGB blog for the link, by the way.]

Blazing Battle Action - now online

It seems everything ends up online eventually. Some cheeky monkeys have uploaded all the pages from a series of articles I wrote for the Judge Dredd Megazine about ground-breaking British war comic Battle. I'm less than impressed about having my copyright so egregiously violated. Perhaps if those responsible had bothered to ask first, or if they had uploaded only a page or two from the articles, that would qualify as fair use. But the whole thing? Tsk!

Of course, there's a delicious irony to all of this. I once wrote a fan novelisation based on the Douglas Adams script for Doctor Who: The Pirate Planet, and that's recently been uploaded to the digital world. Like the Battle site, that was done on a not-for-profit basis, but it's still morally dubious ground in terms of copyright. I guess one difference is the fact my fanboy novelisation was an adaptation, whereas the Battle site simply reproduces my articles wholesale.

Now, where did I put that petard of mine?

Films of Michael Caine #39: Victory

If you're wondering why there's been a plethora of Michael Caine entries of late, I've spent the past week stage managing a pantomime [Hansel & Gretel, a five-night sell-out and it went great, thanks for asking] while thrashing my way towards the finish line of writing my 18th novel. I've got to hand the book in this week and there's about four days' work still to be done on it, so here's another Michael Caine film entry for your delectation. This time it's one of the kitsch classics from Sir Michael's back catalogue.
(UK title: Escape to Victory)
Cast: Sylvester Stallone (Hatch), Michael Caine (Colby), Max Von Sydow (Major Von Steiner), Pelé (Fernandez), Carole Laure (Renee), Daniel Massey (Colonel Waldron), Tim Pigott-Smith (Rose), Julian Curry (Shurlock), Bobby Moore (Terry Brady).

Crew: John Huston (director), Freddie Fields (producer), Evan Jones and Yabo Yablonsky (writers), Bill Conti (music), Gerry Fisher (cinematography), Roberto Silvi (editor), J Dennis Washington (production design).

Synopsis: Former England player John Colby runs a football league among the Allied prisoners at a German camp during the Second World War. A German officer, Major Von Steiner, recognises Colby and proposes an international match between prisoners and captors. Colby agrees on the condition his team get proper kit, rations and training facilities. Nazi officers turn the match into a propaganda event, pitting the Allies against the German national team with a Paris stadium as the venue. Canadian prisoner Hatch proves himself an able goalkeeper and joins the team. The camp escape committee gets Hatch to escape so he can travel to Paris and contact the French Resistance. A plan is formulated for all the players to escape at halftime during the match.

Hatch lets himself be captured so he can go back to the POW camp and pass on the details. The team is taken to Paris, where a crowd of French citizens is forced at gunpoint to watch the match. The Germans go 4-1 up, thanks to dubious decisions by the referee and superior fitness. At halftime the Resistance men break into the Allied team’s dressing room from the sewers. Now is the chance to escape, but the team decide to go back and finish the match. By the final minutes the score is 4-4 and the crowd is going wild for the Allies. The Germans get a penalty but Hatch saves it. The match ends in a draw as the crowd storms the pitch. The players are swept out of the stadium with the crowd…

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Victory was inspired by an article in the New York Times about a group of POWs who played the Germans at football in Holland during the Second World War. The prisoners won and were summarily executed. Screenwriter Yabo Yablonsky saw the potential for a film and began adapting the tale. The resulting story is credited to Yablonsky and Djordje Milicevic & Jeff Maguire, with the screenplay credited to Yablonsky and Even Jones. The script kicked around Hollywood for years before being picked up by producer Freddie Fields. He had it substantially rewritten to include a more upbeat ending.

The producer then went in search of a cast designed to meet three different markets. The star of Oscar-winning picture Rocky (1976), Sylvester Stallone, was sought for his international box office appeal. Stallone negotiated a percentage of the gross profits and a say in the shooting script. Caine and Max Von Sydow were hired for their acting ability. Caine told the New York Times about parallels he saw between himself and the character he played, Captain John Colby. ‘He never believed he could become a captain, I didn’t think I could conceivably be a famous actor. We’re both men of humble origins thrust into situations far beyond our expectations.’ A report in the Guardian said Caine likened his part to that of Alec Guinness in The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957).

More than a dozen football stars were cast for their ball skills, among them former England captain Bobby Moore and Brazilian legend Pelé. The latter also choreographed all the moves in the climatic football match. Helping to fill out the Allies team were half a dozen players from Ipswich Town, while the Hungarian national team played as the Germans.

Fields wanted helmer Brian G Hutton, whose previous credits included World War Two romps Where Eagles Dare (1968) and Kelly’s Heroes (1970). But Stallone requested a director he could admire, so the job went to John Huston, then aged 74. Huston had been seriously ill since making The Man Who Would Be King (1975) with Caine. Hiring him cost an extra $250,000 for insurance. Huston told the Times why he took the job: ‘It’s a helluva good story. I only make pictures if I like the story or if they offer me a lot of money, and in this case it happened to be both. I see this picture as a definition of sportsmanship, of the male spirit at its very best – values which I subscribe to thoroughly.’

To help minimise other costs, the $15 million picture was shot entirely on location in Hungary during 1980. Budapest doubled for 1940s Paris, having similar architecture. The Hungarian Government built the prison camp set at a riding stable outside Budapest. It took more than three months to construct and cost nearly £1 million. Caine was 47 when the movie was being made and not in the best physical shape of his life. He told one interviewer the football scenes left him with a bad back, swollen ankles and pulled tendons. To another he described the shoot as an ‘alcoholic miasma with lots of hot baths’.

The Allies versus Germans football match took a fortnight to film, with the MTK Stadium used in place of Colombe Stadium in Paris. Ipswich goalkeeper Paul Cooper was fitted with a mask of Stallone’s face, in case he had to double for the actor in goal. Stallone lost 41 pounds weight for his role and trained as a goalkeeper for two months. At one stage the script called for him to run up the field and score the winning goal, but this was rejected by Moore and Pelé. Stallone had to be hero of the finale, so the script was changed to have him save a penalty and earn the Allies a 4-4 draw. Just as filming was concluding, an actors’ strike in Hollywood shut down the production. Once the dispute was resolved, Caine had to fly back to Hungary from Los Angeles for a single day of shooting.

Victory was released in American cinemas during July 1981, rated PG. The US did have a professional soccer league, but the sport was still a minority interest at the time. Critics derided the film for being old fashioned and it flopped at the box office, grossing just over $10 million. In football-loving Britain the picture (renamed Escape to Victory) was rated A but reviewers had just as much fun laughing at it. The film was released on video in 1987, reclassified as PG, but has since been deleted. A DVD version is available in the US. The movie has achieved cult status in the past twenty years, with several websites devoted to it. You can even buy a football shirt in the strip worn by the Allies.

Reviews: ‘Escape to Victory, the most egregiously silly sortie into Nazi Germany the cinema has yet given us, is Match of the Day meets Stalag 17.’ – The Financial Times
‘Victory amounts to a frankly old-fashioned World War II morality play, hinging on soccer as a civilised metaphor for the game of War … some very good performances from the cast, particularly Caine.’ – Variety

Verdict: It’s hard to think of many sillier films than Victory. The script may be based loosely on a true story, but reality flies out the window in the first five minutes. Caine is twenty years too old and several stone too heavy for his role, while the mixture of international POWs in the prison camp strains credulity beyond infinity. But once you let yourself believe the unbelievable, Victory becomes an enjoyable romp. The unintentional humour is heightened by the fact everyone plays their roles completely straight. Caine’s efforts on the pitch are limited to shouting and pointing, while the real football stars show their skills. This film is top notch tosh - if you don’t take it seriously.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Pirate Planet: a blast from the past

Seventeen years ago Doctor Who was dying. The long-running BBC science fiction TV series was scheduled against ratings juggernaut Coronation Street, a death sentence for any original drama series. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world in New Zealand, I was rediscovering my childhood passion for the series. I even got fleetingly involved with Doctor Who fandom, something that hadn't previously been possible as it didn't really exist when I grew up watching the show. Such was my renewed enthusiasm, I volunteered to pen a fan novelisation of The Pirate Planet, a four-part adventure Douglas Adams wrote for the TV series when Tom Baker was still the Doctor. It was one of the few TV tales never officially novelised and I decided to have a crack at it.

The results were published by the New Zealand Doctor Who Fan Club in 1990, after I emigrated to Britain. The book got several subsequent revisions, thanks to kiwi fandom stalwart Paul Scoones, all of which improved my initial efforts. Over the years an estimated 600 copies of The Pirate Planet were sold on a not-for-profit basis - not bad for a fan novelisation. Well, the NZDWFC had nwo gone all 21st Century and made The Pirate Planet fan novelisation available for downloading as a free pdf. And yes, that is my original cover artwork above, ample proof of why I became a freelance writer, not an artist or illustrator...

Films of Michael Caine #38: The Hand

Cast: Michael Caine (Jon Lansdale), Andrea Marcovicci (Anne Lansdale), Annie McEnroe (Stella Roche), Bruce McGill (Brian Ferguson), Viveca Lindfors (Doctress), Rosemary Murphy (Karen Wagner), Mara Hobel (Lizzie Lansdale).

Crew: Oliver Stone (director), Edward R Pressman (producer), Oliver Stone (writer), James Horner (music), King Baggot (cinematography), Richard Marks (editor), John Michael Riva (production designer).

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Synopsis: Jon Lansdale is a cartoonist, writing and drawing the newspaper adventure strip Mandro. His wife Anne is unsatisfied with their life in the Vermont countryside. She wants a trial separation and intends to take their young daughter Lizzie to New York with her. The couple are arguing about the move when Jon’s right hand is severed in a car crash. The hand is lost and Jon is left handicapped, unable to draw for a living. He begins to have blackouts and sees visions of the severed hand. Jon accepts an offer to teach at a college in California, but Anne and Lizzie stay behind on the East Coast until Christmas.

Jon makes friends with another teacher, Brian, and has an affair with a pupil called Stella. Brian and Stella make plans to go away for two weeks to Los Angeles. Brian tells Jon the trip will be non-stop sex, unaware Jon is sleeping with Stella. But she disappears before the pair can leave. Anne and Lizzie visit Jon in California. Brian accosts Jon and accuses him of sleeping with Stella. Brian is murdered. Anne tells Jon she is leaving him for good and taking Lizzie with her. Jon is furious. Anne is attacked and nearly strangled to death. The police are called and discover the corpses of Stella and Brian concealed in Jon’s car. He is declared criminally insane and locked away…

Oliver Stone won an Oscar for best adapted screenplay in April 1979 for Midnight Run (1979). The filmmaker had already directed one feature, a horror movie called Seizure (1974). He wanted his next project to be an adaptation of a Vietnam memoir called Born on the Fourth of July. Stone spent a year writing the script and working with directors. At one point Al Pacino was attached, but finance for the project fell through. So Stone returned to the horror genre for his next feature.

‘Part of the reason I did The Hand,’ Stone told Playboy in 1988, ‘was that it was obvious studios weren’t going to do the more dramatic material. I thought as least they’ll do a horror movie. That’s why I compromised, and I made a serious mistake. I wanted to work as a director. I really should have been directing Platoon or Born on the Fourth of July. [Stone eventually got to film those scripts in 1986 and 1989 respectively.] But there was no way they were going to make those, let alone let me direct them.’

Instead Stone adapted a novel called The Lizard’s Tail by Mark Brandel into The Hand. Caine was cast in the lead for the low budget feature, shot in 1980. The actor recalled working with Stone in an interview with Venice magazine in 2002. ‘He was a very well know screenwriter at the point. He decided he was going to direct this screenplay himself. I’ve always had a thing where I’ll work with a first-time director sometimes. I did it with Ken Russell and I did it with Oliver. [In fact both Stone and Russell had directed a feature before working with Caine.] Ken Russell worked out alright with Billion Dollar Brian (1967), but The Hand didn’t work so well.

‘You’ve got to be willing to give people a shot in this business. Oliver, of course, has gone on to become one of the great American directors.’ Caine said he knew Stone had potential. ‘I just didn’t get it in my turn. He talked to me about Platoon quite a lot because I was an ex-infantryman myself, and so was he. There’s always a little bit of a bond between ex-infantrymen. We also talked quite a bit about the JFK assassination, and how there was no way Oswald could have been the lone gunman.’

Stone told Playboy he had spent half his time on The Hand arguing with Caine. At the 2000 Empire Awards Stone joked about making the actor so depressed that Caine required medication to get over the experience. Close to the end of shooting the production was temporarily shut down by an actors’ strike in Hollywood.

The R-rated film was released in US cinemas during April 1981. Critics were not kind to The Hand and it grossed just under $2.5 million. The movie is a rare example of a Caine film that never received a cinema release in the UK. It turned up on video several years later, rated 18 by the BBFC. The Hand has long been deleted in Britain, but remains available on VHS in the US. It is one of only two Oliver Stone films never issued on DVD.

Reviews: ‘Stone takes a considerable risk in making his hero a bastard. Caine gives a creepy flaring-nostril-and-bared-fang performance.’ – New York
‘Michael Caine … spends most of his time sweating and grimacing into the camera lens. It’s not a pretty sight.’ – Variety

Verdict: The Hand tries to be both a psychological thriller and a slice of shlock horror. The movie never definitively states whether it is Caine’s character or his disembodied hand killing people. Such ambiguity is an admirable goal, but Stone fails to achieve it. The special effects hand by Carlo Rambaldi (who next created ET for Spielberg) is clumsily rendered, while all the gushing red blood just screams tomato sauce. Stone’s attempts at adding psychological depth are only puddle deep. Caine plays his part with conviction, but cannot save the film. He wisely stayed away from horror hereafter. The best fun is to be had with this film is laughing at the risible effects and Caine’s extraordinary hairstyle. The madder his character gets, the bigger his hair. By the end of The Hand, the actor is almost sporting a white man’s Afro.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

At last: an MP3 of the 'Studio 60' New Orleans jazz tribute

Last week I was raving about the festive episode of Aaron Sorkin's new US TV drama, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. After some decidedly mixed helpings the show hit its stride just before the winter break when American series traditionally go on hiatus. For me the highlight of the show was its finale, when the fictional sketch show featured in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip [also called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, natch] showcased a clutch of jazz musicians from New Orleans who'd been displaced by Hurricane Katrina. They played an arrangement of Oh Holy Night that was simply stunning.

If you'd like to see an officially sanctioned clip [unlike the bootlet clip YouTube was hosting that has now been removed], visit this NBC website page and click the link that says Watch Highlight. Best of all, you can now hear the arrangement as an mp3 without people talking over the top of it. Pure class.

Films of Michael Caine #37: Dressed to Kill

Cast: Michael Caine (Dr Robert Elliott), Angie Dickinson (Kate Miller), Nancy Allen (Liz Blake), Keith Gordon (Peter Miller), Dennis Franz (Detective Marino), David Margulies (Dr Levy), Ken Baker (Warren Lockman), Susanna Clemm (Betty Luce), Brandon Maggart (Cleveland Sam).

Crew: Brian De Palma (director), George Litto (producer), Brian De Palma (writer), Pino Donaggio (music), Ralf Bode (cinematography), Jerry Greenberg (editor), Gary Weist (art direction).

Synopsis: Middle-aged New Yorker Kate Miller is seeing a psychiatrist, Dr Robert Elliott, for help dealing with her loveless second marriage. She asks Elliott if he wants to have sex with her, but he declines. Kate goes to a museum and gets picked up by a stranger. They have sex at his apartment. As Kate leaves, she is murdered by a blond woman wielding a cut-throat razor. The killer is seen by a high class escort girl, Liz Blake. Elliott receives a message from Bobbi, a transsexual who wants to have a woman’s body. Bobbi confesses to taking Elliott’s razor and using it to kill Kate.

The case is investigated by Detective Marino. He summons Dr Elliott to the police station. There Elliott meets Kate’s teenage son Peter. Peter overhears Marino asking Elliott if one of the psychiatrist’s patients could be the killer. Peter positions a camera to take photos of everyone visiting Elliott’s office. Liz is stalked by a blond woman. The escort is attacked on the subway, but Peter rescues her. He shows Liz photos of the blonde leaving Elliott’s office. Liz tells Marino but he is unable to act without proof.

Liz gets an appointment with Elliott and makes a pass at him. She leaves the room to look in his appointment book for the blonde’s name. When she returns, Liz is attacked by the razor-wielding blonde. But the killer is shot from outside by another blonde woman. The killer is revealed to be Dr Elliott, dressed as a woman. Elliott is Bobbi the transsexual. He killed Kate and tried to murder Liz because both women aroused his male sexuality. Liz was rescued by a blonde police woman who had been following her for Marino…

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Director Brian De Palma wrote a screenplay based on the book Cruising by Gerald Walker, but was unable to secure the rights. (The book was made into a 1980 film by William Friedkin, starring Al Pacino.) Instead De Palma recycled some of the elements from his script and melded them with other ideas to create the suspense thriller Dressed to Kill. The $6 million film was mostly shot at locations around New York and in a city studio, with a Philadelphia museum was used for interiors set inside New York’s Metropolitan Museum, when permission could not be gained to shoot inside the real building.

In his acting masterclass Caine recalled making the film: ‘Brian De Palma has a bit of chilly personality, but I admire him as a director and technician. So when he offered me Dressed to Kill, I figured this was a gamble that might pay off. He was very demanding. I remember one nine-page sequence that incorporated a 360-degree swing of the camera and required 26 takes (a record for me) … That one sequence took a whole day to shoot.’

The part required Caine to be in drag for his sequences as Bobbi. ‘I had never done it before, and I thought, suppose I like it?’ he told Premiere in 1999. ‘I hated it. I couldn’t wait to get the damn stuff off. I think it’s the most uncomfortable form of dress. If you’re a man, it’s terrible.’ Caine had to shave his legs every morning and found it very difficult to walk in high heels. In many of the stalking scenes his place was taken by Susanna Clemm, the actress who also played the policewoman mistaken for Bobbi.

In The Making of Dressed to Kill documentary, co-star Karen Allen recalls the first time she saw Caine as Bobbi. He was in the full costume and make-up, smoking a big cigar. ‘Michael looked around at the crew and said, “I always knew if I worked long enough and hard enough I’d get to play me mum.”’

When first presented to the MPAA, the film was given an X rating. This guaranteed commercial failure as many cinemas chains refused to screen X-rated movies. De Palma was enraged that he had to cut his film to get an R rating and complained to the news media. But the picture was still trimmed to secure the less damaging rating.

Released in America during June 1980, Dressed to Kill was praised by many critics. The controversy about its rating and content helped fuel public interest, and the film grossed more than five times its budget. But the movie was attacked by some reviewers as being misogynistic. De Palma also faced accusations of imitating the work of filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock. Dressed to Kill featured several elements seen in Psycho (1960), such as a transvestite killer and introducing a female lead character that go killed her off after 30 minutes. ‘Hitchcock’s story ideas are the best that exist,’ De Palma says in The Making Of Dressed to Kill. ‘If you’re going to work in this genre, Hitchcock’s done it all. If you’re going to be good, you are going to use come of his ideas.’ The picture’s notoriety earned it several nominations at the dreaded Razzie Awards, including one for Caine as worst actor. The nomination also made mention of his performance in The Island (1980).

In Britain the film was dogged by controversy for different reasons. It was released when a serial killer called the Yorkshire Ripper was murdering woman. In Bradford protestors threw a bucket of animal blood over a cinema screen where Dressed to Kill was playing. Tabloids jumped on the story, further contributing to the film’s notoriety. It got an X rating, but in the UK that only banned anyone under 18 from seeing the movie.

Dressed to Kill was released on VHS in Britain in 1986 and remains available. A DVD version was issued in the US in 2001, including an uncut version of the film and several documentaries. The 2002 DVD release in the UK has only minimal extras.

Reviews: ‘Brian De Palma goes right for the audience jugular in … a stylish exercise in ersatz-Hitchcock suspense-terror. Caine … is excellent as the suave shrink.’ – Variety
‘It doesn’t matter that the plot has more flaws than a second-hand suit… This is a masterly piece of filmmaking with the grip of a hangman’s noose.’ – Daily Express

Verdict: Dressed to Kill explores its twin themes of sexuality and violence with style, contrasting them to sometimes terrifying effect. De Palma’s use of devices like split-screen, showing the same scene from multiple points of view, and lingering tracking shots all help heighten the picture’s mood. The plot relies too much on coincidence and contrivance but the suspense generated helps overcome those problems. Yes, the story parallels to Psycho are particularly strong, but a nine-minute-long wordless museum sequence also evokes memories of Vertigo, as does Donaggio’s score. Caine’s performance is remarkably subtle, the repression his character suffers only obvious on repeat viewing. If you can forgive the story’s flaws and have a taste for terror, Dressed to Kill will serve you well.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Films of Michael Caine #36: The Island

Cast: Michael Caine (Maynard), David Warner (Nau), Angela Punch McGregor (Beth), Frank Middlemass (Windsor), Don Henderson (Rollo), Dudley Sutton (Dr Brazil), Colin Jeavons (Hizzoner), Zakes Mokae (Wescott), Brad Sullivan (Stark), Jeffrey Frank (Justin).

Crew: Michael Ritchie (director) Richard D Zanuck and David Brown (producers), Peter Benchley (writer), Ennio Morricone (music), Henri Decaë (cinematography), Richard A Harris (editor), Dale Hennesy (production designer).

Synopsis: Two thousand people and 600 boats have gone missing in three years near the Caribbean. Journalist Blair Maynard visits Miami to investigate the mystery, taking along his son Justin. The pair has not got on well since Justin’s parents got divorced. All the boats disappeared near an island called Navidad. Maynard and Justin travel to Navidad and hire a fishing boat from an expatriate Brit called Windsor. Father and son are abducted by pirates and taken captive on an uncharted island. Maynard is kept alive as breeding stock, while Justin is brainwashed into believing his real father is Nau, leader of the pirates.

Maynard is overjoyed when he sees Windsor approaching the island in a boat. But Windsor is in league with the pirates. He says they have been on the island for 300 years, with little contact with modern society. To him the pirates are a living anthropological specimen. Windsor tells Nau a sailing ship is passing nearby. The pirates attack the ship, which was smuggling cocaine. Maynard escapes the pirates but Justin refuses to go with him. A coast guard vessel approaches the island, searching for the drug smugglers. The pirates seize the ship and kill the crew. Maynard swims out to the vessel and kills nearly all the pirates. Nau orders Justin to murder Maynard, but the boy refuses. Maynard kills Nau and is reconciled with Justin as a coast guard helicopter arrives…

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Peter Benchley wrote the best-selling shark attack novel Jaws. It subsequently became a smash hit movie in 1975, directed by Steven Spielberg and produced by Richard D Zanuck and David Brown. Benchley followed that success with The Deep, which was also adapted into a successful film. When his novel The Island was published in 1979, Zanuck and Brown were quick to secure the film rights. Benchley wrote the screenplay himself, having co-written the previous two adaptations. Director Michael Ritchie was brought on board the $22 million project, having helmed notable films like Downhill Racer (1969) and political satire The Candidate (1972).

Caine was cast as journalist Blair Maynard. In an interview with Film Comment during shooting in August 1979, the actor said Benchley had always had him in mind for the character. ‘I wanted this role very much. Universal didn’t want me, they wanted to see if they could get an American actor.’ Caine said the director and both producers wanted him to play Maynard and had gotten their way. Another attraction may have been the warm filming locations in Miami and Antigua. Caine had recently moved to America and said he hoped to get a better standard of script. ‘I don’t want to do any more schlock.’ [His next three films were to be Dressed to Kill (1980), The Hand (1981) and Victory (1981).]

Caine described The Island as a difficult film, because the subject matter could easily cause audience laughter in the wrong places. ‘It’s a modern pirate story, and when the pirates appear, the situation becomes very delicate. It’s my job to control what the audience thinks about the pirates because I’m really the only representative of the audience who’s there – in the film, I mean. And once you lose them, once they … decide things look foolish, it takes twenty minutes to get them back.’

The R-rated film reached US cinemas in June 1980, with the makers hoping for a summer box office hit. William Goldman’s book Adventures in the Screen Trade quotes producer David Brown about the differences between Jaws (1975) and The Island: ‘We didn’t know whether Jaws would work, but we didn’t have any doubts about The Island. It had to be a smash. Everything worked. The screenplay worked. Every actor we sent it to said yes. I didn’t know until a few days after we opened…’ Brown encountered a studio executive in a bookstore. ‘He said, “David, they don’t want to see the picture.”’

The Island grossed $15 million in the US but got pasted by critics. Caine’s performance earned him a nomination as worst actor at the Razzie Awards, split between this film and Dressed to Kill (1980). The Island limped into British cinemas, where it was rated X. It appeared on video six years later, reclassified as an 18. The movie has since been deleted and has not yet been issued on DVD.

Reviews: ‘The Island is a lethargic venture by the Jaws production team into the dubious terrain of cannibalistic degeneracy.’ – The Observer
‘Once the mystery is banally resolved … the film degenerates into a violent chase melodrama. Michael Ritchie’s witty direction is abandoned in the violence.’ – Variety

Verdict: You have to wonder how the producers of The Island could possibly think this film was a certain hit. Sure, the novels of Peter Benchley had provided box office gold in the past but The Island is simply awful, both banal and tedious. What little suspense the initial mystery generates is thrown away the moment the pirates start talking. The risible dialogue and their farcical appearance plunge the picture into a hole from which it cannot escape. Caine does his best to maintain some dignity in the face of overwhelming odds, but the film sinks beneath the weight of its own ludicrousness. Avoid this movie like the plague.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Films of Michael Caine #35: Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)

Cast: Michael Caine (Captain Mike Turner), Sally Field (Celeste Whitman), Telly Savalas (Stefan Svevo), Peter Boyle (Frank Mazzetti), Jack Warden (Harold Meredith), Shirley Knight (Hannah Meredith), Shirley Jones (Gina Rowe), Karl Malden (Wilbur Hubbard), Slim Pickens (Tex), Veronica Hamel (Suzanne Constantine), Angela Cartwright (Theresa Mazzetti), Mark Harmon (Larry Simpson).

Crew: Irwin Allen (director and producer), Nelson Gidding (writer), Jerry Fielding (music), Joseph Biroc (cinematography), Bill Brame (editor), Preston Ames (production designer).

Synopsis: The luxury cruise ship Poseidon is capsized by a massive wave during a storm. Nearby Captain Mike Turner keeps his tugboat Jenny from flipping, but loses his cargo. A bank will foreclose on Turner’s boat if he returns to shore. A coast guard helicopter leads him to discover the Poseidon, upside down but still afloat – just. Turner wants salvage rights to the ship. Another vessel arrives, captained by Stefan Svevo. He claims to be a doctor. Turner and his two crew, Wilbur and Celeste, climb down into the Poseidon, accompanied by Svevo and three paramedics. As they descend, their escape route is cut off. Moving through the corridors, the group finds eight passengers still alive. Turner discovers Svevo is intent on recovering plutonium, not saving lives. Drowning and shootings claim several passengers. Turner succeeds in getting four passengers and Celeste away safely, but loses nearly all the loot he had salvaged. The Poseidon explodes, killing Svevo and his henchman…

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The Poseidon Adventure, based on a novel by Paul Gallico, was a smash hit movie in 1972. It grossed more than $80 million in the US, garnered three Oscar nominations and a win for best song. It also created a new genre, the disaster movie. The formula was simple – gather a dozen stars in one location, give them just enough character to make audiences care what happens next, then trap the lot in a disaster with lavish special effects and maximum thrills. Producer Irwin Allen was the master of disaster movies, but by the end of the 1970s the genre had fallen out of fashion.

Allen decided to make a sequel to the film that started the trend. Most sequels either show what happened next or simply remake the story with a fresh cast. Nelson Gidding’s script opted for the latter choice. Allen chose to direct the picture himself, despite the critical backlash to his previous effort, The Swarm (1978). Returning from that film was Caine. ‘I made it for a friend of mine,’ he told Film Comment in 1980. ‘I liked the idea of it. I had never been in a big Hollywood special effects picture before, and I thought the experience would be interesting. Trying to make something of the rather cardboard characters in those movies is quite difficult. Also, I wanted pictures in America. I was just moving there, I needed to start making a living. That was a very important consideration.’

Caine moved to Hollywood in early 1979. In February he told the Daily Mirror that Britain’s crippling tax rates for high earners were not his only reasons for shifting. ‘When I left London last month it was freezing, there were strikes everywhere. If I hadn’t already decided to go and live in California, that would have been enough to make me. Besides the sunshine and only 50 per cent maximum tax, hardly any of my films are made in Britain.’

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure was shot predominantly at Burbank Studios in California. The hull of the capsized ship was constructed on a barge and then floated in the Pacific, south of Malibu. Cast members were flown out by helicopter to the barge for filming at sea. Caine overcame his claustrophobia learning how to scuba dive for the underwater sequences. But all the effort counted for little. Released across America in May 1979 as a PG. Beyond the Poseidon Adventure was savaged by critics and audiences stayed away. Several months later it reached the UK, where the BBFC required minor cuts before rating the film A.

‘I obviously didn’t read the script for either Beyond the Poseidon Adventure or The Swarm and say “This’ll get me an Academy Award, I must do it at all costs,”’ Caine told Film Comment. ‘Frankly, I thought both of these movies would be much better than they were. I had tremendous thoughts about the special effects possibilities … but the effects in Poseidon were so much smaller than in the original. Kind of chintzy, really.’

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure was first released on VHS in 1987 and leaked out on DVD in 2006. Disaster movies made a comeback in the late 1990s with the success of Independence Day (1996) and Titanic (1997), but Allen had died in 1991 and did not see his creation’s revival.

Reviews: ‘More a movie disaster than a disaster movie…’ – The Sunday Express
‘A virtual remake of the 1972 original, without that film’s mounting suspense and excitement.’ – Variety

Verdict: Cheap and cheerless, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure is an exercise in futility. The lacklustre script shamelessly recycles the original film’s plot, adding a mediocre villain. Caine is the lead but rarely gets to do more than spout exposition and grit his teeth. What little action there is grinds to a halt so the supporting cast can each have a moment in the spotlight. Convenient explosions either endanger or rescue the cast, depending upon plot requirements, while Allen’s direction is joyless and dreary, never coming close to attaining the original film’s suspense. The explosion that finally sinks the Poseidon best resembles a firecracker let off in a bathtub. This film isn’t bad enough to be entertainingly awful, merely dull and mediocre.