Cutting Room: dream sequence from Doctors - Get Smart

Scenes and sequences get cut from scripts for all manner of reasons. Length and timing are the most frequent culprits, but context can be another. My recent episode of Doctors, Get Smart, happened along after several other eps had used fantasy scenes. As a result, my opening dream sequence got cut between the 4th and 5th script drafts.

These things happen. I'd always been aware the sequence was not essential to the plot, it was more a case of having some fun with the character of Jack. The bad dream did set up his stressed state of mind, and also established the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship of Harry and Jen by showing them together as early as possible.

The solution? Keep the establishing shot opener, but change the knocking of Jack's mobile ringing. Delete scenes two and three altogether. The fourth scene became two scenes, with Karen ringing from reception at the Campus surgery and Jack answering from his bed at uni halls of residence. But that wasn't the whole fix.

Losing the dream sequence meant lovers Harry and Jen wouldn't be seen together until the second half of the ep, which just seemed odd. So a swift rewrite ensured Jen made an appearance with Harry early doors, establishing their relationship. Anyway, here's the dream sequence that got cut after my 4th draft. Make of it what you will...

EP207/SC1. EXT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. DAY. 13:50

DREAM SEQUENCE BEGINS:

[SOUND OF KNOCKING]

CUT TO:


EP207/SC2. INT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. JACK’S ROOM. DAY. 13:51

JACK, KAREN

DREAM SEQUENCE CONTINUES:

[JACK ASLEEP, SURROUNDED BY TEXTBOOKS]

KAREN (OOV):
Jack, you in there? Jack!

[JACK JERKS AWAKE.

HE OPENS THE DOOR. KAREN BUSTLES IN]

JACK:
Mom? What are you doing here?

KAREN:
Couldn’t get any answer from your mobile.

JACK:
Been up all night studying.

KAREN:
I just popped over to wish you luck for today’s exam.

JACK:
Today?

[HE TURNS TO A LARGE CALENDAR ON THE WALL.

‘EXAM – 11 AM’ IS WRITTEN IN BIG RED LETTERS BESIDE FRIDAY, MARCH 18.

JACK LOOKS AT HIS WRIST WATCH. IT’S 13:52]

JACK:
No, no, no. This can’t be happening.

[JACK BOLTS. KAREN CALLS AFTER HIM]

KAREN:
Best of luck, love!

CUT TO:


EP207/SC3. EXT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. LIBRARY. DAY. 14:05

JACK, HARRY, JEN

NSE UNDERGRADS

DREAM SEQUENCE CONTINUES:

[JACK HURRIES TOWARD THE LIBRARY AS NSE UNDERGRADS SPILL FROM THE BUILDING.

LOCKED IN A KISS TO ONE SIDE ARE NICE BUT DIM HARRY WELLS (20) AND SAVVY, SELF-ASSURED JEN OLDHAM (19)]

JACK:
Harry! Jen!

JEN:
Where’ve you been?

HARRY:
Mate, you’ve missed the exam.

JACK:
You’re kidding me.

[NSE UNDERGRADS GATHER ROUND, GESTURING AT JACK, SNIGGERING]

JACK:
What are you lot looking at?

HARRY:
I think it’s your trousers.

JACK:
What about them?

JEN:
You’re not wearing any.

[JACK LOOKS DOWN. HORROR FILLS HIS FACE.

HARRY FIGHTS THE URGE TO LAUGH, BUT JEN CAN’T STOP HERSELF.

NSE UNDERGRADS ALL JOIN IN. WITHIN A FEW MOMENTS EVERYONE’S LAUGHING.

NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN, HUMILIATED JACK COVERS HIS GROIN]

KAREN (OOV):
Jack? Jack!

JACK:
Mom?

[JACK TURNS ROUND TO LOOK, AND--)

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

CUT TO:


EP207/SC4. INT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. JACK’S ROOM. DAY. 13:51

JACK, KAREN

[JACK JERKS AWAKE.

HE OPENS THE DOOR. KAREN BUSTLES IN]

JACK:
What are you doing here?

KAREN:
Popped over to wish you luck for today’s exam.

[JACK SCRAMBLES TO CHECK HIS CALENDAR. ‘EXAM – 10 AM’ IS WRITTEN BESIDE MARCH 21.]

JACK:
You’re early. My next one’s not until Monday.

KAREN:
Just as well, judging by the state of this place.

[SHE HOLDS UP A DODGY PAIR OF BOXERS]

KAREN:
Few less nights out with your mates, you wouldn’t be struggling now.

JACK:
Remind me, how many qualifications did you leave school with?

KAREN:
Don’t you have a go at me, Jack Hollins. If you want to know who’s responsible for your problems, try looking in the mirror.

[KAREN SHOVES THE BOXERS AT JACK]

KAREN:
(LEAVING) And next time you want some laundry done? Do it yourself.

JACK:
Mom, I didn’t mean that, I’m-- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) --sorry.

[OUT ON JACK’S REMORSE]

CUT TO:

My 3rd Doctors episode is on BBC1 today, 1.45pm

My third TV drama airs on BBC1 at 1.45pm today, called Doctors: Get Smart. Here's the official plot synopsis: Under pressure and with deadlines looming, Jack faces temptation and an ethical dilemma when he discovers a friend's new secret to success. Rob has to face Driver on his last day in CID, while Simon has an eventful first night on call.

DOCTORS: Get Smart, starring:
Jack Hollins • Nicolas Woodman
Dr Simon Bond • David Sturzaker
Rob Hollins • Chris Walker
Harry Wells • Ben Ryan Davies
Dr Zara Carmichael • Elisabeth Dermot Walsh
Karen Hollins • Jan Pearson
DCI Driver • Elizabeth Rider
Mitch Dawson • Richard Lawrence
Jaza Gibson • Natalie Kemp
Mikey Wilcox • Patrick Knowles
Jen Oldham • Susan Wokoma
Professor Oldham • Geff Francis

Producer: Phil Hunter
Writer: David Bishop
Director: Matt Carter
Series Producer: Mike Hobson
Series Producer: Peter Eryl Lloyd

Fri 18 Mar 2011 - 13:45, BBC One
Fri 18 Mar 2011 - 16:00, BBC HD

Preview: my 3rd Doctors episode is on Friday March 18th

Friday March 18th this year is Red Nose Day, when people across Britain performing all sorts of silly stunts to raise money for the charity Comic Relief. It's also the day my third episode of the TV drama series Doctors is broadcast by the BBC [1.45pm on BBC1, then repeated in glorious high definition on BBCHD at 4pm that same afternoon].

The new Radio Times has made the episode, called Get Smart, its daytime choice for that Friday and even given it a special boxout plug. [Alas, the good old days when the RT bothered to mention the writer of individual episodes got lost in a redesign, but Doctors writers aren't bitter about that. No, not at all.]

Yesterday I received an advance copy of Get Smart on DVD. It's an odd moment, sitting down to watch something you slaved over the script for five or six months ago. I was able to visit the filming on my first two eps, but schedule clashes made that impossible, so I had no idea what the finished version would look like this time.

I'm happy to say the cast and crew have done me proud. Doctors is filmed almost entirely on location, and especially so for Get Smart. That means the crew can move walls to suit themselves, they have to be inventive and find interesting angles that will help tell the story no matter how tight or cramped the location might be.

Personally, I think they've done an amazing job on Get Smart. Having been on location with previous eps and seen the speed with which this production has to work, it's remarkable what Doctors achieves 230 times a year. Wish I could buy them all a pint of their favoured beverage as thanks, but Doctors doesn't pay writers that much.

I'll save my thoughts about the story until after it's been broadcast. There's plenty of process stories to tell, but they won't mean much until you've seen the story. Plus I don't want to spoil the ep for anyone who does plan to watch the broadcast [or, more likely, catch up with it after via the wonders of iPlayer]. In the meantime: onwards!