Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cutting Room: dream sequence from Doctors - Get Smart

Scenes and sequences get cut from scripts for all manner of reasons. Length and timing are the most frequent culprits, but context can be another. My recent episode of Doctors, Get Smart, happened along after several other eps had used fantasy scenes. As a result, my opening dream sequence got cut between the 4th and 5th script drafts.

These things happen. I'd always been aware the sequence was not essential to the plot, it was more a case of having some fun with the character of Jack. The bad dream did set up his stressed state of mind, and also established the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship of Harry and Jen by showing them together as early as possible.

The solution? Keep the establishing shot opener, but change the knocking of Jack's mobile ringing. Delete scenes two and three altogether. The fourth scene became two scenes, with Karen ringing from reception at the Campus surgery and Jack answering from his bed at uni halls of residence. But that wasn't the whole fix.

Losing the dream sequence meant lovers Harry and Jen wouldn't be seen together until the second half of the ep, which just seemed odd. So a swift rewrite ensured Jen made an appearance with Harry early doors, establishing their relationship. Anyway, here's the dream sequence that got cut after my 4th draft. Make of it what you will...
EP207/SC1. EXT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. DAY. 13:50

DREAM SEQUENCE BEGINS:

[SOUND OF KNOCKING]

CUT TO:


EP207/SC2. INT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. JACK’S ROOM. DAY. 13:51

JACK, KAREN


DREAM SEQUENCE CONTINUES:

[JACK ASLEEP, SURROUNDED BY TEXTBOOKS]

KAREN (OOV):
Jack, you in there? Jack!

[JACK JERKS AWAKE.

HE OPENS THE DOOR. KAREN BUSTLES IN]

JACK:
Mom? What are you doing here?

KAREN:
Couldn’t get any answer from your mobile.

JACK:
Been up all night studying.

KAREN:
I just popped over to wish you luck for today’s exam.

JACK:
Today?

[HE TURNS TO A LARGE CALENDAR ON THE WALL.

‘EXAM – 11 AM’ IS WRITTEN IN BIG RED LETTERS BESIDE FRIDAY, MARCH 18.

JACK LOOKS AT HIS WRIST WATCH. IT’S 13:52]

JACK:
No, no, no. This can’t be happening.

[JACK BOLTS. KAREN CALLS AFTER HIM]

KAREN:
Best of luck, love!

CUT TO:


EP207/SC3. EXT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. LIBRARY. DAY. 14:05

JACK, HARRY, JEN


NSE UNDERGRADS

DREAM SEQUENCE CONTINUES:

[JACK HURRIES TOWARD THE LIBRARY AS NSE UNDERGRADS SPILL FROM THE BUILDING.

LOCKED IN A KISS TO ONE SIDE ARE NICE BUT DIM HARRY WELLS (20) AND SAVVY, SELF-ASSURED JEN OLDHAM (19)]

JACK:
Harry! Jen!

JEN:
Where’ve you been?

HARRY:
Mate, you’ve missed the exam.

JACK:
You’re kidding me.

[NSE UNDERGRADS GATHER ROUND, GESTURING AT JACK, SNIGGERING]

JACK:
What are you lot looking at?

HARRY:
I think it’s your trousers.

JACK:
What about them?

JEN:
You’re not wearing any.

[JACK LOOKS DOWN. HORROR FILLS HIS FACE.

HARRY FIGHTS THE URGE TO LAUGH, BUT JEN CAN’T STOP HERSELF.

NSE UNDERGRADS ALL JOIN IN. WITHIN A FEW MOMENTS EVERYONE’S LAUGHING.

NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN, HUMILIATED JACK COVERS HIS GROIN]

KAREN (OOV):
Jack? Jack!

JACK:
Mom?

[JACK TURNS ROUND TO LOOK, AND--)

END DREAM SEQUENCE.

CUT TO:


EP207/SC4. INT. LETHERBRIDGE UNI. HALL OF RESIDENCE. JACK’S ROOM. DAY. 13:51

JACK, KAREN


[JACK JERKS AWAKE.

HE OPENS THE DOOR. KAREN BUSTLES IN]

JACK:
What are you doing here?

KAREN:
Popped over to wish you luck for today’s exam.

[JACK SCRAMBLES TO CHECK HIS CALENDAR. ‘EXAM – 10 AM’ IS WRITTEN BESIDE MARCH 21.]

JACK:
You’re early. My next one’s not until Monday.

KAREN:
Just as well, judging by the state of this place.

[SHE HOLDS UP A DODGY PAIR OF BOXERS]

KAREN:
Few less nights out with your mates, you wouldn’t be struggling now.

JACK:
Remind me, how many qualifications did you leave school with?

KAREN:
Don’t you have a go at me, Jack Hollins. If you want to know who’s responsible for your problems, try looking in the mirror.

[KAREN SHOVES THE BOXERS AT JACK]

KAREN:
(LEAVING) And next time you want some laundry done? Do it yourself.

JACK:
Mom, I didn’t mean that, I’m-- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) --sorry.

[OUT ON JACK’S REMORSE]

CUT TO:

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