"...a real fancy vehicle, right up until it burned."

Fantasy writer David Eddings accidentally torched his office in Carson City, Nevada, last week by throwing a piece of lit paper into a puddle of gasoline. You can read all about it by going here. Pay particular attention to the photo of Eddings - it's not the expression on his face, or the fact he's having a cigarette while his office burns. It's the look on the firefighter's face that tickles me...

John Wagner on Battle Picture Weekly Pt. 2

Yesterday I posted half the transcript of a 2003 interview with acclaimed comics writer John Wagner about ground-breaking 1970s war title Battle Picture Weekly. [If you missed that, you can read it by clicking this link.] Wagner developed the comic with fellow freelancer Pat Mills. They were joined by in-house editor Dave Hunt as the first issue neared completion. Now, here's the second half of the transcript, covering the rest of Wagner's involvement with BPW over the years...

I’m guessing first change strips like Coward’s Brand on Bradley and The Fortrose Falcon were stories that had been developed for the launch but rejected from #1 – correct?

That’s exactly what they are. [Coward’s Brand…] We tried hard with that story, if I remember rightly. It was just one that was never gonna work. It was just to try and get a different story. Once again, he’s someone who’s having it done to him, rather than doing. That’s where it fell done. The Fortrose Falcon lacked one strong central character. It was a nice idea, kind of old fashioned. Once again it didn’t make it into #1. It was never going to make it into the first mix but we obviously liked the story. It might not have been the most popular story but it did help leaven the mix a little.

I think the thing that really did that was Charley’s War. It was totally outwith Battle’s normal fare but it really fitted well into Battle.

Battle is unusual because it had typeset lettering when most IPC titles of the time had hand-lettering – why was this?

This is something we brought from [Dundee publisher DC] Thomsons, we just preferred it. These days I would always have hand lettering.

When 2000 AD came along we took the definite decision to major more on art. I think that was part of the reason for the popularity of the comic. When the art is very striking and in your face… You often feel with 2000 AD you could do with twice as many pages to get the same story value as early issues of Battle.

Battle was soon getting very later and in danger of missing its printing slot. Can you remember when you and Pat moved on to other projects?

I began to see I didn’t have a real role there anymore, we were only getting in Dave’s way. So I thought it was best if I toddled off. For a while I was a script editor on a new comic, a new girls’ teen comic they were bringing out, the name of which I can’t remember. It did come out. I really wasn’t suited to that anymore. I soon got fed up and they offered me Valiant. I don’t suppose I paid much more attention to Battle until I left Valiant.

I’ll name some Battle strip from 75 and 76 to see if they stir any memories: King of the Yanks?

I don’t think I know that one. I don’t remember this at all.

They Can’t Stop Bullet!

I have vague memories of the title. But I deny all knowledge.

Major Eazy?

That was excellent art by Carlos. That’s where he really started to come into his own. Lovely cover. Alan Hebden wrote Major Eazy, that was a good story.

You went off to edit Valiant, already a sinking ship by that point. Did you quit before it was cancelled? At last year’s Moniaive Festival you were telling me Darkie’s Mob was your parachute job when you left Valiant and you put a lot of effort into getting it right…

It was something like that, it was the first job I did.

Mike Western was a big part of the success of Darkie’s Mob…

He was kept pretty busy by the boys’ division. I guess that’s why he wasn’t in the early issues.

What’s it been like seeing the strip reprinted in the Megazine?

It’s been quite interesting because I didn’t remember much about it. It’s a wee bit repetitive when you read it all in a block like that. I’m surprised that we got away with some of the stuff we did. Most of it is based on real incidents.

Dave Hunt on Darkie: The dysentery episode, a politician wrote to Battle saying this is disgraceful, my constituents have brought this to my attention. Me, being forever the coward, wrote this long-winded reply saying these stories are based on real life events.

I don’t know if there’s anything I can tell you about Darkie’s Mob that is new. The dysentery episode I was quite annoyed with Dave because I had these old Arthur Mead encyclopedia. They were from 1937 so I was actually using the real cure that was available at that time, antisheega serum. Dave, thinking it was just something I had invented, cut that out! That was quite well researched, all that.

Three other strips started in the same issue. At the time British comics didn't carry creator credits, so it's hard to know precisely who did what. Did you have anything to do with Yellow Jack? Operation Shark? The Unknown Soldier?

Nope.

Valiant was folded into Battle in October 1976, bringing with it three strips – One-Eyed Jack, The Black Crow and Soldier Sharp – did you have anything to do with these?

One-Eyed Jack, that’s one I created for Valiant with John Cooper. Soldier Sharp – that’s another way I created. That never quite worked. I was trying to mimic Cadman that ran in Warlord or another title, which was a genuinely good story – but I never quite made it. I didn’t write many of them, but it never quite worked. The Black Crow – I don’t remember that one.

The Valiant merger had the advantage of bringing three strong artists to Battle – John Cooper, Eric Bradbury and Joe Colquhoun – what are your memories of these three men?

That was quite fortunate, good artists all.

I think your next creation for Battle was drawn by Eric Bradbury – Joe Two Beans. What can you remember about that? The lead character is a Red Indian who doesn’t speak for the first 11 episodes – inspired by the chief in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?

Joe Two Beans – oh dear. God. Someone should have stopped me. [One Flew…?] Maybe – probably. I wish it had stayed in the nest. [Having Joe not talk...] I thought it would save on dialogue but in the end you had to write a lot more to explain what the guy was up to. “Joe Two Beans is thinking about the war!” Oh God, don’t remind me of this one! You know, you learn, you try things and you make some mistakes. The art was okay. He really got into the character, Eric. I don’t think it was that unpopular. I’d forgotten all about Joe. There you go. Just a guy trying to make a buck.

El Mestizo [by Hebden and Ezquerra] – I think this worked pretty well.

Darkie’s Mob concluded in June 77 – had the story run its course? Dave Hunt recalls pleading with you to keep it going. There’s an episode towards the end where Darkie has the chance to enlist a whole new mob but is foiled – was this your response to Dave’s pleading?

I imagine Dave and I had been talking about. I felt really shot on the story, I didn’t really have anything new to give it. Continuing it I seemed to be repeating myself a lot, it felt better to let it go. I felt it was ready to close. It had run a long time, more than I was ever used to running a story. It was pretty popular story in Battle. Why didn’t he [Dave] take me off it? Or he could have given me £100 to keep it going – that would have convinced me! That would have overcome any scruples I had – but things weren’t done like that.

A new trio of strips begins in June 77 – did you have anything to do with The Sarge? Gaunt? Sea Wolf?

Christ, I forgot about Gaunt too. That was me. Another one of these things that didn’t have enough going for it. There you go. A freelance searching for an idea. I didn’t like Gaunt, I think I closed it down pretty quickly.

Life Story of the Red Baron – your work?

No. They were scraping the barrel there, weren’t they?

78 strips – Achilles the Avenger – memories?

Oh boy! I wonder whose idea this was?

In July 78 Operation Shark returns and two new strips begin – Pat Mills’ Samurai and Crazy Keller with art by Bradbury. Did you write Crazy Keller?

No. The Japanese stories never seemed to go down as well. I don’t know if the theatre of war seemed to far away for kids…

January 79 - #200 – first Charley’s War – Battle’s finest hour? Why?

I think this was the best story that ever ran in British comics. I haven’t read it all but the bits I have are really well done, well researched and put together. Lovely drawing. Somehow Joe Colquhoun’s artwork captured the First World War. He was also willing to do an awful lot of researched himself, although I imagine Pat supplied him with a lot of it.

Did Scott Goodall take it over? Pat must have been miffed. I met Scott when I was over in Barcelona for a convention. He was a jolly fellow, always ready for a drink.

H.M.S. NIGHTSHADE – anything to do with you? Nice Western art – very hard to make naval strips work for some reason…

This was inspired by The Cruel Sea. Navy stories were difficult to make popular. I think this didn’t work too badly, for a Navy story. Real down home stuff.

GLORY RIDER - who wrote this? Seems to have been modelled on Patton…

I wouldn’t call a story Glory Rider. Most of these artists could tell a story, even if they couldn’t draw.

During 1980 the Wagner & Grant writing partnership was formed – you didn’t write a strip called Death Squad did you? Bradbury art?

No, absolutely not.

Long gap before you return to Battle with a new strip – Fight for the Falklands, fact-based story that began soon after the war ended, art by Jim Watson – genesis of that strip? Started within weeks of the war finishing?

I was ready to go. I had counted them all in. I must confess I was taken in by the jingo of the whole thing, of the war. I was all for bashing the Argies. I wasn’t a deep thinker. I have a feeling Barrie Tomlinson asked me to do it. This is the Falklands War explained – how the Argies got a bloody nose. I feel kind of ashamed of it, looking back.

Did you read the episode about the Belgrano? I’d like to see what I said about that – probably swallowed the Government line. I wonder how popular this was?

It must have been very difficult finding the right style for it… problems? Controversy?

It’s just silly. War correspondents get their books out as soon as they can after getting home, they never get any stick for it.

By 1983 you and Alan have adopted a range of pen-names at the request of John Sanders, including the Clark brothers – R. Clark writes Invasion 1984, a sci-fi war story for Battle – where did the idea for this come from?

We don’t know whether this is Ron or Rick. This is a terrible story. By normal standards it’s probably an average Battle story, but we could have done so much better. We somehow managed to get a futuristic story to look like an old war story. I’d forgotten all about that one.

How long did it last? [13 years] That’s pretty good going for a comic, although it had some merges.

I think that’s what we wanted to call it initially – just Battle. There was some reason why we didn’t. Was there some other publication?

Of all the work you did for Battle, what was your best?

Darkie’s Mob, by some distance, I would think so. But Charley’s War was the best thing in Battle.

Who's on first? The Doctor and companions

Manga artist *mimi-na has produced a wonderful drawing of the Doctor and many of his lovely assistants through the years. You can see the full version at her website.

John Wagner talks about Battle Picture Weekly

Back in 2003 I interviewed one of the most acclaimed writers in British comics, John Wagner, about his involvement with seminal war title Battle Picture Weekly. Here's the first half of my raw transcript. Please excuse any spelling mistakes or bad grammar, those are my fault...

You worked first at DC Thomson, learning your trade. Around 1971 you and Pat quite to go freelance, writing as a team from his garden shed. After a year you went to London on a freelance contract with IPC where you edited a girls’ comic called Sandie. John Sanders recalls cancelling this out from under you when sales dropped to 199,000. You abandoned writing altogether and took a succession of other jobs including caretaker at a Scottish mansion and dredging on a barge. How accurate is that so far?

Actually, I went on from Sandie to Princess Tina, to kill that one off too. If it lasted beyond me, it was despite me!

In September 1974 DC Thomson launched Warlord. Publisher John Sanders decided he needed fresh blood and new ideas for IPC’s response and turned to Mills and Wagner for help. According to a previous interview I read, you got a telegram inviting you to come back to London and work with Pat on launching what became Battle Picture Weekly – true or false? Who was the telegram from – Sanders? Purdie? Mills?

D-Day Dawson was our answer to Union Jack Jackson.I think Sanders turned to Pat for help, more than me. I think Pat was the one Sanders had faith in. Pat needed someone to work with, that’s more the way it worked. The telegram was from Sanders or Purdie, more likely Purdie. Purdie or Pat, more probably Purdie.

Warlord went on sale the end of September 74 – the first issue of Battle went to press at the end of January 75. So you and Pat developed the title from scratch in just four months. What can you remember about that period?

They had I don’t know what lead time but we had it pretty near done in six weeks, pretty near done. I would say it lasted another week or two tidying it up – six to eight weeks it was ready. I was staying with Pat at the time which was a bad mistake, as we couldn’t stop working. We worked on the train on the way up, in the office, in the pub afterwards, in the train on the way back and we probably sit around at home talking about it too. At weekends we’d go out to pubs and talk around stories. We just never stopped. It drove me crazy.

Dave Hunt says you and Pat were secreted away in the Purdie empire of girls’ comics, one floor up from the boys’ comic department. Is it true you told people you were doing a comic for the blind?

I don’t remember that one, it’s quite possible. We weren’t supposed to talk about it. It’s like an idea Alan [Grant] and I came up with to do a puzzle magazine for the dyslexic called zupples.

Did you sense animosity from editorial staff who had been overlooked for the new launch?

Yeah. Also the boys’ comics staff felt it was an assault on them as we were doing a boys’ comic from the girls’ comic department, so we weren’t very popular. They felt that we were too violent. We certainly were in comparison to them but you can never really be too violent. (Laughs) It’s what the kids wanted.

Who created the ideas for the different strips? Did you and Pat develop them and then give them to other writers? Or did other writers come to you with proposals?

I think pretty much every one we developed. Gerry might have thrown in some. D-Day Dawson, we came up with the first one. I think we then handed it over to Gerry. He might have had some input into the first one, he might have written the first script. We might have had the idea and roughed it before giving it to Gerry.

Lofty – I think we’d have written the first script of that – was it Charles Herring. [Later episodes by Ken Armstrong] He was in the art department, he wanted to write. He was in the TAs. It took us days to find the title for The Headfirst Hero, we just couldn’t come up with one.

Don’t ask me who wrote the Golden Hinde, I’ve absolutely no idea. [S Conforth?] Cornforth? Oh yeah, he was a funny guy, he used to freelance for us on Sandie. Everything was close typed so he could get everything on three pieces of paper. [Mills/Wagner do the second, then Scott Goodall takes it over] I guess we didn’t think what Cornforth had done was right.

Battle Badge of Bravery – was this Eric Hebden? He did this kind of thing. He was never the most exciting writer, Eric, but he was a decent old spud.

Day of the Eagle – I’m sure we’d have written the first episode, maybe the whole thing. [Eric Hebden?] We may well have given it to Eric. I’m pretty sure we’d have done the first one.

[Arguments over free gift on BPW #1] Peter Mason, he was an ex-Army man. He wouldn’t tolerate us giving away SS stickers. We really didn’t appreciate the sensitivities, I think we should have been a bit more appreciative. Sanders, of course, sitting in the middle of this furious row smiling about it. “I like a bit of conflict.” As you can see he [Mason] got the SS one taken off. I think there was another one too, Panzer Division. They were great though, I loved those stickers. Stickers always seemed the best kind of gift.

Bootneck Boy – that went to Gerry. [I. MacDonald, then Gerry] Ian MacDonald, he was another DC Thomson fella who had been working on Tammy and then quit. He was a very occasional scriptwriter, just couldn’t get it together properly.

Rat Pack – I would imagine we’d have done the first one of these too. [Early Carlos] The trouble we had getting Carlos. We’d seen his artwork in either the Victor or the Hotspur. Every agent that came in we’d ask them do you know this guy? Barry Coker was the man who said yes. But he wasn’t going to let us use Carlos because he felt we were a new comic and Carlos’s employment wasn’t guaranteed long-term. I think we had to give him a promise that even if Battle folded we’d make sure he got other work.

I’m sure we wrote the first episode of this one [Bamboo Curtain – Herring, Wagner/Mills, Tully?]. Anything you see with Charles Herring on it, it was rewritten and rewritten and rewritten. He had lots of good ideas. You had to take one of Charles’ scripts and pick out those good ideas. This story didn’t work until we hyped up Sado. It was sitting there. We kept going over it and over it and couldn’t see what was wrong with it. Decided to hype up Sado. But it wasn’t that popular a story, I think because they were prisoners and they weren’t proactive. They were having it done to them, rather than doing it themselves.

Here’s what Battle staff editor Dave Hunt had to say about how Mills & Wagner worked…

“Pat and John wrote the initial episodes and then farmed them out to other writers. GFD was the author of D-Day Dawson. Lofty’s One-Man Luftwaffe – that was John and Pat. Their brief was not only create a new title but bring in new talent into the industry. We’d worked with a bed-rock of people. When you launched a new title, you rang up Tom Tully, he would do four of the new strips, Ted Cowan – people of that era – Ken Mennall. A lot of the people in Battle #1 were new to me.

“John and Pat always listened and got what they wanted from you. They would see a glimmer of an idea in a script and the writer would get paid for it. John and Pat would shape that glimmer. You’d re-read it 14 attempts later and the idea would still be there but developed. I was full of admiration for them. Being freelance themselves, they always felt they shouldn’t destroy a contributor, they felt that was the last thing they should do. They wanted to train them more into their way of thinking. Often it didn’t work.

Wagner: Almost always!

“John Sanders wanted to bring this out very quickly to combat Warlord. There was no time to stockpile material, we were really living hand to mouth. Issue 1 went to press and issue 2 wasn’t in yet. I couldn’t believe what I was watching – subbing things again and again and again, but that was Pat and John. You admired it in the end, that perfectionism. But you had to, at some stage, say enough’s enough.”

It’s true. I’m sure we overdid it. We wanted everything to be absolutely word perfect. Of course word perfect one day isn’t quite right the next. Anything you’ve ever written, you come back to it and change things. I read albums of mine and feel like getting the pen out.

Dave was right. There came a point where he had to say come on guys. I imagine he felt in a very difficult position because we were nominally in charge of the whole thing, having to tell us to get moving. We’d been working on first episodes, we didn’t have many more. We must have, you just can’t go to press without second episodes – but maybe just the scripts. I’m sure we caused him [Dave] a great deal of trouble.

There were seven stories in the first issue of Battle. Let’s talk about them one by one. First up, D-Day Dawson – Gerry Finley-Day seemed to be the main writer on this strip. How did you two know Gerry?

He was editor of Tammy. Was it still going then? I don’t think he was there when we came back, he must have gone freelance when I was away. He was another guy who had a lot of good ideas but sometimes putting them down was not quite what it should have been.

D-Day Dawson is a neat idea but all the stories become a bit samey after a while – yet the strip lasted nearly 100 issues! Why? Battle sub-editor Steve MacManus says it was most popular in early issues…

You could get variations on it but D-Day Dawson always came back to the same thing. But it was popular.

The Flight of the Golden Hinde – writer? This seems like a very traditional story – was it a struggle to find writers who could replicate the Wagner & Mills approach?

That’s one that shouldn’t have made it through the mix, very DC Thomson. It was probably the romantic in me that wanted to do that one but seeing it now I think it should have been left out of the mix for something more brutal. Quite nice artwork, if I remember rightly. [Vanyo] Like the curate’s egg, it was nice in parts.

THE BOOTNECK BOY – young boy runs away to war, a formula Battle who use again and again, most famously in Charley’s War – GFD strip? Iain McDonald on first episode?

I think it was an attempt to capture the Alf Tupper type hero, the rough diamond. It always seemed to lack a bit of direction but was mid-way popular. I think it was important to the mix, the comic could have become too samey.

RAT PACK – another story taking its inspiration from a popular film, in this case The Dirty Dozen. Pat would recycle this formula again and again for the launch of Action and then 2000 AD. Who was the main writer on Rat Pack? Notable for very early Carlos Ezquerra art – where did you spot Carlos from?

The formula worked. I never loved the story, but it worked. Carlos was later used in Battle to much better effect. The characters in this were so cliched. Rat Pack was the one you could try different people out on.

The Terror Behind the Bamboo Curtain – Dave remembers this story being rewritten again and again. How problematic was it trying the right style and tone for Battle? Were you afraid of overstepping the mark, going too far?

I had absolutely no idea where the story was going. I’m sure we hadn’t thought past the first episode. We knew it was something pretty awful, believe me! [Sadism, violence and black humour?] That’s what happens when you put a couple of freelancers in a room together! They just egg each other on. Part of it all was a reaction to the way comics had been up until then. They had been too safe, samey, sanitised. Characters never died, nothing ever changed, nothing progressed. Like Captain Hurricane went on episode after episode, the same formula, he’d throw a raging fury and rip tanks apart, and in his raging fury always win the day. It was so unreal and we were fed up with it. We wanted to kick some butt.

TO BE CONCLUDED.

The Strangeness of In-Between Days

This is a Taking Care of Business kind of week. My first payment on account for the current tax year is due tomorrow, so I need to write a cheque and post it to Inland Revenue. Fortunately, I now have the money to pay the taxman and Inland Revenue has agreed to reduce my payments on account by five hundred quid. Making efforts to improve my writing - like the MA at Screen Academy Scotland - may be sensible for my long-term career prospects but it's put quite a hole in my earnings by comparison with previous years. I'm trying to play the long game, giving up easy income now in exchange for making myself a better writer (and, hopefully, more money in future).

I guess there's another advantage to tackling the tertiary education system now. I never went to university after high school, opting for six months on a pressure-cooker journalism diploma course before working as a daily newspaper reporter. By the time my friends from school had finished their degrees, I'd already been working for two and a half years and earned three promotions. When I was 18 I wasn't ready to tackle university. I'd coasted through high school on whatever natural abilities and intelligence my parents gifted me.

I certainly didn't have any sort of work ethnic, never having to had worked in my life for anything academically. Getting out into the world and gaining some life experience taught me about the need to make the most of opportunities when they present themselves. [There were no such things as gap years when I was a teenager, somewhere back near the dawn of time.] Now I'm at university , I'm trying to extract every ounce of benefit from the experience. Maybe I doing the younger students a disservice, but some don't seem to eager to make the most of this chance...

This week is one of those strange, in-between periods. It's the week between trimesters one and two at Screen Academy Scotland, so all's quiet on the screenwriting course. I've got a Phantom synopsis to rewrite for Egmont Sweden, and need to write a few extra panels about digitalia as a drop-in for a previous script. I watched the Kenneth Branagh film Peter's Friends (1992) yesterday as research for a story I'm mulling over. At the time it was released, the movie felt like a belated British response to The Big Chill (1992).

Fifteen years later, it holds up pretty well, though the absence of mobile phones is conspicuous. The thing that jars the most is the relevation at the end that one character is HIV Positive, akin to a death sentence in the early 90s. Since then medical science has vastly extended the life expectancy of anyone suffering this illness, so that moment seems curiously antiquated and overwrought now. Still, Peter's Friends has a crackerjack cast and it's fun to see Hugh Laurie so young, when he comes across so grizzled on US TV series House.

In other news, today is deadline day for the Rocliffe New Writing Forum. Hosted by BAFTA, the next New Writing Forum on February 21 will showcase three 10-minute script extracts as they're rehearsed and performed by professional actors. The forum alsoi gives the selected writers feedback from an established industry guest. Best of all, the scripts can be for any medium; film, short film, theatre, radio, sitcom or sketches. You can find more about this on the BBC's wonderful writersroom website.

A different kind of seven year itch

Did I mention this already? Can't recall. Our telly went bung last week. As a consequence I spent my evenings reading and listening to music for several hours, before going down the pub to meet friends. Got more reading done in a few days than I've managed for months. Finished off Pamela Douglas's Writing the TV Drama Series [good stuff but aimed at American scribes], ripped through Chris Curry's Writing for Soaps [very British, full of insights about soap production office politics], and cherry-picked chapters from Brian Sibley's official Peter Jackson biography.

Having time to listen to music was a bonus too. Before iTunes my musical tastes had atrophied to an alarming degree. My days of buying singles were long behind me and I was reluctant to buy whole albums when I only liked a few tracks on it. For me, iTunes was the perfect solution. I could hear an extract, decide how many tracks I wanted and create my own bespoke playlists from the restuls. Being a sad, High Fidelity style gek who spent hours compiling the perfect mix tape, iTunes is utterly addictive.

Recommending music is an eminently pointless waste of time, since everybody's taste vary so wildly. But here are a few things I've enjoyed lately: the eastern promise of Natacha Atlas, both for her covers of You Only Live Twice, Man's World and I Put a Speel on You, and also for originals such as Just Like a Dream and One Brief Moment; daft cover versions like Giant Drag doing Wicked Game, Fink playing All Cried Out and Duran Duran attempting Watching the Detectives; the overwrought emo-glad of My Chemical Romance; new chanteuse Candi Payne; the Arcade Fire single Rebellion (Lies); The Last Town Chorus doing Modern Love; Kiwi enemble Goldenhorse's Maybe Tomorrow; the Architecture in Helsinki remix album; the soundtrack album for Little Children; Hot Chip's herky, jerky cover of Sexual Healing; and some Julie Feeney. Nice.

Don't know why, but I've been getting the seven year itch lately. No, Marilyn Monroe hasn't moved into the apartment upstairs. I live in a semi-detached house and the only thing upstairs in a hot water tank. I'm talking about the urge to get an office job. I've been freelance for six and a half years, and it gets quiet sometimes - too quiet. Phoning your mates is all very well, but I miss the rough and tumble of office life: the intrigues and the gossip, the madness and the mayhem.

Once I've finished my screenwriting MA, I don't want to let the skills I've honed atrophy. But I'm all too aware that almost nobody walks out of film school and into a paying gig writing scripts for film or TV. Doesn't happen. Those kind of gigs take years of networking and graft to secure, along with a large dollop of luck and - usually - an agent to seal the deal. Places like Screen Academy Scotland are a cosy, cosseted environment. Once you get out into the world, nobody need give you the time of day, let along detailed feedback on the latest draft of your magnificent octopus.

I've decided to dip my toes in the water and see if I can get a job inside the machine, work my way up from within. Whatever happens, I'll keep writing - that's one itch I can't help scratching. But I also believe I could make a decent script editor, finding and nurturing other writers, working with scribes to make their stories the best they can be. The funny thing is, when I was a comics editor for most of the 1990s, I didn't think it was preparing for anything except more work in comics. Now I can see it equipped me with all manner of skills. You don't commission and edit 1500 pages of script a year without learning a thing or two.

Films of Michael Caine #54: Surrender

Cast: Sally Field (Daisy), Michael Caine (Sean), Steve Guttenberg (Marty), Peter Boyle (Jay), Jackie Cooper (Ace), Julie Kavner (Ronnie), Louise Lasser (Joyce), Iman (Hedy), Michael Andrews (Hooker).

Crew: Jerry Belson (director), Aaron Spelling and Alan Greisman (producers), Jerry Belson (writer), Michel Colombier (music), Juan Ruiz Anchia (cinematography), Wendy Greene Bricmont (editor), Lilly Kilvert (production design).

Synopsis: Sean Stein is a best-selling author who can’t trust women after losing much of his earnings to his ex-wife and a former lover in court. Daisy Morgan is an assembly-line painter who dreams of becoming an artist. She is disenchanted with her boyfriend, a selfish but rich lawyer, Marty. When armed robbers force guests at a charity party to strip naked, Sean and Daisy are tied together. Next morning Marty flies off to a case in a third world country. Smitten with Daisy, Sean persuades her to go on a date.

The rich writer claims he is broke, to discover if Daisy will love him for something other than his money. The pair fall for each other. Marty returns, a changed man after being held captive by pygmies. He is ready to commit to Daisy. She dumps Sean but goes back to him after discovering he is rich. They decide to get married, but Sean wants Daisy to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. She wins $2 million at a casino. Sean has an epiphany, realising he is to blame for his problems, not women. Daisy decides love is more important than money. She and Sean are reunited…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Comedy writer Jerry Belson had won awards for his TV work, but struck out with his feature film directorial debut, Jekyll & Hyde… Together Again (1982). Five years later he returned to the big screen as writer/director of the romantic comedy Surrender (1987). The script lured double Oscar-winning actress Sally Field back to work after two years. It also caught the eye of Caine. ‘I’ve always wanted to be in a real American screwball romantic comedy like they used to make before the war,’ he told the Scotsman newspaper in 1987. ‘I didn’t want any concessions made to me as an Englishman, just to be accepted as an American star in an American comedy.’

Caine enjoyed his time on the picture, naming Field as one of the best actresses he has worked with. They had co-starred in the ill-fated disaster movie Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979). ‘The great thing was to work with Sally and have a relationship with her which was so easy, playing off each other. I can only remember having that sort of relationship with one person before, Sean Connery. It’s the happiest I’ve been with a picture for along time … I think it will be the biggest box office hit I have done.’

But Surrender was a flop when released in American cinemas during October 1987, rated PG. Critics were unimpressed and it grossed less than $6 million. There was also a backlash against the film in AIDS-conscious America because Caine and Field’s characters had sex on their first date. ‘The reaction was: how shocking, how irresponsible,’ Caine told the Daily Mirror a month after the movie opened in America. ‘Over there people are having blood tests before they even consider going on a first date. I’m middle aged. It’s a problem that hasn’t really affected my generation.’

The picture reached Britain, rated PG. It was released on video in 1988 but has since been deleted. Surrender has yet to make its DVD debut.

Reviews: ‘Surrender is an astonishing case of a movie that can do no wrong for its first half and little right thereafter.’ – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
‘A 1950s sitcom dressed up in modern clothes. Michael Caine and Sally Field are good for a couple of laughs along the way, but production runs out of steam early.’ – Variety

Verdict: Surrender is like a postcard from the 1980s, a romantic comedy featuring only venal, self-obsessed characters. TV veteran Belson’s script probably looked hilarious on the page, but it runs out of gas after 45 minutes. During the first half of the film, Caine and Field sustain this limited material with the lightest of touches. But as soon as Steve Guttenberg reappears on the screen, love triangle dynamics overpower any attempt at sustaining or developing characterisation. By the finale, when the leads renounce their money-grubbing ways for love, you just don’t care about them anymore. Don’t bother with Surrender unless you enjoy seeing two talented actors wasted on a trite, wafer-thin script.

Films of Michael Caine #53: Jaws the Revenge

Cast: Lorraine Gary (Ellen Brody), Lance Guest (Michael). Mario Van Peebles (Jake), Karen Young (Carla), Michael Caine (Hoagie), Judith Barsi (Thea), Lynn Whitfield (Louisa), Mitchell Anderson (Sean), Jay Mello (Young Sean), Cedric Scott (Clarence), Charles Bowleg (William), Melvin Van Peebles (Mr Witherspoon).

Crew: Joseph Sargent (director and producer), Michael de Guzman (writer), Michael Small (music), John McPherson (cinematography), Michael Brown (editor), John J Lloyd (production designer).

Synopsis: A great white shark kills Amity police deputy Sean Brody just before Christmas. His mother Ellen also lost her husband to such a shark. She becomes convinced the shark is hunting her family. Ellen go to the Bahamas to visit her surviving son Michael, his wife Carla and their daughter Thea. Michael is a marine biologist doing research with his friend Jake. Ellen becomes close to a pilot called Hoagie. Jake and Michael encounter a great white shark at sea. Jake persuades Michael to help him study it. The shark almost eats Thea. Ellen takes a boat out to sea, determined to confront the shark. Michael and Jake find her, with help from Hoagie. Jake gets the shark to swallow a device that will give it electric shocks. Ellen rams the boat into the shark and it explodes …

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Peter Benchley’s novel Jaws became a hugely successful film in 1975, grossing more than $250 million in the US. It spawned three sequels, but each one was less successful than the last. The third picture in the franchise, Jaws 3-D (1983), had abandoned the original cast and setting for a shark attack movie augmented with 3-D effects. In 1987 Joseph Sargent became director and producer for the next sequel, provisionally named Jaws 4. Sargent’s previous experience came from 30 years in TV. Writer Michael de Guzman was asked to develop a new story based on Benchley’s characters.

The $23 million film ignored the events of Jaws 3-D, instead focusing on survivors of the Brody family from the first two movies in the franchise. Lorraine Gary reprised her role as Ellen, while adult actors took the roles of her grown-up sons. Caine was hired to play Hoagie, Ellen’s love interest. News reports claimed he was paid £1-1.5 million for this supporting role, filmed over a few weeks in the Bahamas. In 1987 Caine told the Sun newspaper his teenage daughter Natasha had persuaded him to make the picture. ‘But I must admit there were three other attractions – the location in the Bahamas, the script and the money. This Jaws film gets back to the basic terror of the first Jaws films.’

Shooting began on location in New England during February 1987, with Martha’s Vineyard used to depict the Long Island resort community of Amity, as in Jaws. After a week the production moved to Nassau in the Bahamas for two months of location work.

On March 30 Caine won his first Oscar for Hannah and Her Sisters, but missed the ceremony because of filming commitments on Jaws the Revenge. ‘I only had a tiny part in it,’ Caine told Hello magazine in 2000. ‘I thought that I would be able to be in Los Angeles for the Oscars but the filming over-ran by one day so I couldn’t get there. It’s a terrible regret for me that I couldn’t be there to receive the Oscar in person. Instead I was spending that day on a picture which I’m told, because I have never seen it, turned out not to be very good.’

In April the cast and crew shifted to Universal Studios in California to finish shooting, with the production wrapping at the end of May. Jaws the Revenge opened in American cinemas just three months later, rated PG-13. The movie was savaged by critics and grossed just over $20 million. Caine was nominated as worst supporting actor at the Razzie Awards for his performance.

The original US ending had Mario Van Peebles’ character Jake killed by the shark, but this sequence was reshot for foreign audiences. New footage had the great white exploding and Jake surviving. In the UK the BBFC required 37 seconds of cuts before granting a PG rating. Jaws the Revenge tanked with British reviewers and audiences in August 1987, grossing less than $2 million. The film was released on VHS in 1988, reclassified as a 15 in the UK. For a 2000 re-release this rating was lowered to a 12. The movie made its DVD debut during 2001.

Over the years Caine has put forward various reasons for his participation in Jaws the Revenge. In November 1987 he told the Sunday Express his large salary had enabled him to appear in low budget British movie The Whistle Blower (1987). In his 1992 autobiography Caine said Jaws the Revenge paid for a terrific house to be built, even if the film was terrible. In 2002 Caine told a gathering of Screen Actors Guild members in Los Angeles he took roles like Hoagie because he was afraid of poverty and unemployment.

The subject of Jaws the Revenge still irks Caine, as he showed during an interview in the January 2003 Australian edition of Empire: ‘What pisses you off is when, as happened this morning, a person says, “Why did you makes Jaws 4?” That’s great! Of all the questions you could possible ask me, you decide to ask me about a film I was in for 10 minutes, 20 bloody years ago. That’s when the interview gets very short. If you’re going to talk about a duff film, at least talk about a picture in which I played the lead and was responsible for the bloody thing.’

Reviews: ‘Jaws the Revenge is mild and predictable, the very things an adventure movie should never be.’ – New York Times
‘The moment-of-attack sequences, full of jagged cuts and a great deal of noise, more closely resemble the view from inside a washing machine.’ – Variety

Verdict: Tiresome and pointless, Jaws the Revenge lacks all the qualities that made Steven Spielberg’s 1975 film such a success. This dull retread has no suspense, no surprises and almost nothing to recommend it. Logic flies out the window and never comes back with this story. A great white shark that stalks one particular family? From New England to the Bahamas? How the hell does it find them? Did Ellen Brody leave her forwarding address underwater? And why makes the shark explode at the end – embarrassment? The first Jaws film was fortunate its mechanical shark frequently malfunctioned, forcing Spielberg to merely hint at the terror beneath the waves. Jaws the Revenge’s shark must have worked fine because it pops up again and again and again, each appearance more laughable than the last. The film unwisely uses a few sepia-tinted flashbacks to the 1975 original, reminding you how much better that movie was. Caine strolls through a minor supporting role, adding nothing to this sinking ship. Don’t waste nearly two hours of your life watching this crap.

Films of Michael Caine #52: The Whistle Blower

Cast: Michael Caine (Frank), James Fox (Lord), Nigel Havers (Bob), John Gielgud (Sir Adrian Chapple), Felicity Dean (Cynthia), Barry Foster (Greig), Gordon Jackson (Bruce), Kenneth Colley (Pickett), David Langton (Government Minister), Dinah Stabb (Rose), James Simmons (Mark), Katherine Reeve (Tiffany), Bill Wallis (Dodgson).

Crew: Simon Langton (director), Geoffrey Reeve (producer), Julian Bond (writer), John Scott (music), Fred Tammes (cinematography), Robert Morgan (editor), Morley Smith (production design).

Synopsis: A staff member at GCHQ Cheltenham, the surveillance centre for Britain’s intelligence forces, is discovered to be a traitor. One of his friends is killed, the death made to look accidental. Frank Jones visits Cheltenham for his son Bob’s birthday. Bob lives in a building with a roof terrace. Frank is dismayed his son is seeing Cynthia, a married woman with a daughter. Cynthia’s husband apparently commits suicide after learning of her affair, but Bob thinks this was faked. Frank meets an old friend, Charles Greig. The intelligence services discover Sir Adrian Chapple is a traitor. Bob falls to his death from a roof terrace.

Frank begins to believe his son was murdered. He is approached by Bill Pickett, a journalist investigating similar deaths. Pickett dies in a car crash, made to look accidental. Frank learns Bob met with Greig, who works for the intelligence services. Frank gets his old friend drunk. Greig says American agents killed Bob, but the real traitor is Chapple. A government minister warns Frank against speaking out. Frank visits Chapple and forces him to sign a confession. Chapple dies while trying to shoot Frank. Frank realises the confession could be seen as a suicide note. Perhaps the truth will emerge…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

John Hale’s novel The Whistle Blower was first published in 1984. Producer Geoffrey Reeve acquired film rights to the tense thriller and hired screenwriter Julian Bond to adapt the conspiracy tale. The picture gave TV director Simon Langton his cinema feature, having proved himself adept at handling similar material in the 1982 mini-series Smiley’s People. Caine accepted the lead role of grieving father Frank Jones, having recently starred in another Reeve production, Half Moon Street (1986). The actor initially turned down the script, thinking he had been offered the role of 28-year-old Bob.

Caine told Women’s Own magazine his participation helped get The Whistle Blower made. ‘I took short money on it and invested my time. I’m extremely proud of the result, especially as it’s also a first film for the director. Every now and again I do a first film, and I must say I pick winners. I did Ken Russell’s first, Billion Dollar Brain, and I did Oliver Stone’s first, The Hand. I think The Whistle Blower is another winner.’ [In fact Russell and Stone had both previously directed a film.] In a 1987 interview with the Sunday Express Caine said his big money role in Jaws the Revenge (1987) subsidised getting no fee for The Whistle Blower. He only received a percentage of the latter film’s box office profits.

The low budget production was shot on location at the beginning of 1986 in and around Cheltenham and London. Staff at the real GCHQ were forbidden from appearing as extras in the film. The picture reunited Caine with Gordon Jackson, with whom he had co-starred in The Ipcress File (1965) and Kidnapped (1971). It also gave him a chance to play opposite one of Britain’s greatest theatrical actors, Sir John Gielgud.

In 1987 Caine told the New York Times that The Whistle Blower was timely. ‘As soon as that picture was finished, we had Irangate [a scandal about the US covertly selling arms to recent enemies]. It always struck me that governments – not only yours – are doing a lot of stuff we didn’t know about. It was Kafka-esque. How much are we being manipulated by the government … and how much do we know?’

The Whistle Blower was rated PG by the BBFC in October 1986 but did not reach British cinemas for another seven months. Caine was praised by many critics, but the film did not fare so well. The picture reached the US in August 1987, rated PG, grossing just over $1 million. It arrived amidst a glut of Caine movies, including The Fourth Protocol, Jaws the Revenge and Surrender (all 1987). The Whistle Blower was released on video later that year and make its DVD debut as a budget price release in 2001.

Reviews: ‘Michael Caine … does manage to lift things off the ground – the rest of the film is muted and rather dull.’ – The Guardian
‘Caine does everything right … but he’s stuck in a sluggish script, full of undramatised research; a vast and terrifying subject trapped in a small film.’ – London Daily News

Verdict: The Whistle Blower is a worthy but dull film about the dubious methods the intelligence community uses to protect its own secrets. The problems stem from a script that takes far too long to get going, with nearly an hour elapsing before the central character faces any significant problem. Only after the death of Nigel Havers’ character does the plot finally start to thicken. By then you will probably be too bored to care. Worse still, the ending is badly fumbled, with Caine’s character left wandering around the empty streets of London. This sort of conspiracy thriller was tackled more convincingly in Defence of the Realm (1985). Despite these problems, Caine gives a powerful and subtle performance as the grieving father. He is easily the best thing in this mediocre effort.

My MA: almost all over [except the writing]

Yesterday I submitted my final piece of assessed work for trimester 1 in year 2 of my part-time MA Screenwriting course. The college experience is going to be over before I know. We've got one trimester of classes left, comprising an academic research module and another script development workshop module. Once those are complete, we spend the third trimester at home writing our final project.

To be honest, I've no idea yet what my final project will be. Since I'm already writing an original TV pilot as part of the mentoring scheme I'm on, logic would suggest it's more sensible to write the screenplay for a 90-minute film of my own devising. But first I've got to find a story worth telling to that length, something that will grip and excite and enthuse me all summer.

The essay I submitted yesterday was for the module entitled From Script to Screen. Unlike the more obviously vocational script development workshop, this module was academic in its inclinations. Among the requirements for this essay was extensive research, demonstrating by citing at least a dozen sources of which no more than half could be taken from the internet or trade papers. The majority of our sources had to be books and journals, all correctly cited and noted.

In the essay we had to chose a film made before 1980 and discuss: how we would remake it now; considering such factors as genre and style; not to mention the original's meaning in its historical, social, political and cultural contexts; analyse our remake's meaning for a contemporary audience and discuss the justifications of our choices; plus a consideration of possible conditions imposed on the putative project by funders, distributors and markets - all in 3000 words. I think I ticked most of those boxes, and my sources were all present and correct.

I choose an obscure New Zealand film from 1977 called Sleeping Dogs for my theoretical remake. This proved a rod for my own back when it came to sourcing relevant, cogent research material. Luckily I went to the BFI reading room in London last month and gouged the archives for facts and opinions. But my valuable single source was The Penguin History of New Zealand by Michael King, a book I bought on a whim at the airport during my last visit home. Without the late, great writer and historian's insights, my essay would have been a big old flailing mess of stuff.

In other news, I got feedback and the grade for my efforts in the other trimester 1 module for second year part-timers, Script Development 2a. We were required to write a script for either an academy-length film [around 25 minutes], the pilot for a TV series of our own devising, or an original screenplay. I opted for the 25-minute script, writing a screenplay called Danny's Toys. I was happy with my efforts and those marking the script seemed to agree with me.

Screen Academy Scotland is part of Edinburgh's Napier University, where grades come in three categories - F for fail, P for pass and D for distinction. Each of these categories comes in five sub-categories: 1 for those at the bottom of the category; and 5 for those at the top. In my first year I managed to get a distinction grade in all four of the required modules - though my D1 in The Business of Screen Project Development was a close shave, by all accounts.

For the interim assignments on both of my year 2, trimester 1 modules, I got D1 grades. Getting that for my sequence analysis essay was a pleasant surprise, but I was underwhelmed at receiving a D1 for my Danny's Toys outline. As a consequence, I put a lot of care and effort into my screenplay for Danny's Toys. The result? A wonderfully pleasing D3. Result!

I've always envisaged Danny's Toys as an animated or stop motion project, ideally directed by somebody like Tim Burton. Obviously, that'll never happen, but keeping that mental image and visual style in my head helped sustain the writing. It's the same with characters: I like to cast actors in key roles for my novels and scripts, it helps me hear the character's voice, enabling me to get a better grip on them.

Having finished my last piece of work for trimester 1, I've now got a week off college before we go back on February 9th to start our final trimester of Friday sessions. Hard to believe it's almost all over, bar the writing.

There is [award-winning] Life on Mars

UK TV trade paper Broadcast has announced its awards for 2006, and sci-fi cop drama Life on Mars is much mentioned. It was highly commended in the best drama series or serial category [behind winner Bleak House], got named best new programme and the show's maker, Kudos, was named best independent production company. The second and final series of Life on Mars starts in a new weeks and I can't wait. In the meantime, everybody and his dog have linked to this viral video plugging the new series of LoM, done in the style of a 1970s children's show. But, n the off chance you haven't seen it yet...

I heart US presidential election campaigns

Don't ask me why, but I love American presidential election campaigns. It might stem from reading Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 at a young and impressionable age. [I read all manner of weirdness when I was growing up, thanks to having two older brothers. My favourite reference book was the Dictionary of Modern Thought - wish I still had a copy. The cover was blue.] Seasons 6 and 7 of The West Wing are among my favourites because they deal with a presential election campaign, despite the absence of Sorkin's writing. The primaries, the caucuses, the obscure local issues that define which candidates progress - I love it all.

Perhaps the joy springs from being far enough away to savour the spectacle without being enmeshed in the centre of it. The week before the 2004 elections I happened to be on holiday in Florida, always a crucial state in close races. Grud, it was election wonk heaven. Every second ad on TV was for one side or the other. [The rest were for a Nicholas Cage movie called National Treasure, seemingly some kind of modern-day Raiders of the Lost Ark involving the Constitution of the US, natch.] My personal favourite had to be this one, which seems to suggest that anyone who votes for John Kerry wants to get ripped apart by wolves...Now the mid-term elections have passed and George W. Bush is officially a lame duck president, the race is on for both parties to select who will be nominated as his successor. Hillary Clinton is gearing up for the fight of her life, while charismatic rising star Barack Obama looks like giving the former First Lady a run for her money. Is America ready to elect a woman or a mixed race candidate president? Time will tell.

Amazingly, the first attack ads of the 2008 campaign have been scheduled to air in New Hampshire and Iowa, two of the key states whose early results in primary season can launch or kill a prospective candidate's chances. The person under attack is Republican John McCain, a Vietnam veteran who's supporting President Bush's plan to put more troops into Iraq. That's getting McCain tagged, more than a year before the first primary and nearly two years out from the presidential elections. Let the games begin...

Very, very, very silly

Somebody with too much time on their hands has created a tribute to one of the less brilliant moments from the 1995 Judge Dredd films. See Sylvester Stallone and Armand Assante got anime-shouting crazy. Lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Worry Doll: creepiest comic of the year

Get a sneak preview of Worry Doll - but prepare to be creeped out.

Interview with actor George Innes

In 2003 I was researching my book about the films of Michael Caine. I interviewed several actors and directors who had worked with Caine several times during his long, long career. One of these was George Innes, a British actor with a most remarkable career. If his name doesn't ring a bell, you'd probably recognise his face. Innes was the sailor who had his skull opened with a hand drill in Master and Commander, and he was Charlie Croker's second in command Bill Bailey in The Italian Job.

He appeared in many, many TV series over the years: The Avengers, Z Cars, Open All Hours, Dixon of Dock Greed, The Good Life, I Claudius (left), The Sweeney, Danger UXB, Shogun, Hart to Hart, M*A*S*H*, Hill Street Blues, Minder, Magnum P.I., Cagney & Lacey, The Bill - and the list goes on. By the time we finished the interview, I almost wished I was writing a book about Innes' career, not the films of Michael Caine. Anyway, here's what George had to say in February 2003 about his filmic experiences with Sir Michael. Innes started by talking about his role in cult British film The Italian Job:

'Nice character, Bill Bailey. I think that my agent possibly had something to do with the package. He had the director, Peter Collinson, he had Tony Beckley, me, he may have had the writer, Troy Kennedy Martin. I think he had several people in the show so it’s quite possible it was part of package. It certainly worked like that in those days.

'We were out to Italy, to Turin and Milan. Shot around the streets there. Then we came back and shot a little bit, in Bray Studios I think it was. That was for the interior of the coach scenes, when it was hanging off with the gold sliding around.

'We also went to Ireland, shot a bit in Ireland, because Noël Coward couldn’t film here with his tax situation. They shot the prison sequence in Ireland, which I wasn’t involved in. We also had a scene in the churchyard, the funeral of Aunt Nellie. I did a little scene with Noël Coward, but I think that went well. A nice little scene between me and him, where Bill takes it all very much to heart about the funeral. He starts crying and all that. Quite a sweet little scene.'

Not long afterwards Innes got involved with an epic film about the Thirty Years War:

'The second film I worked with Michael Caine was The Last Valley. That was nice. The whole bunch of us went out, a lot of us knew each other. I was working at Royal Court at the time. Somehow I heard about it. I used to knock around with a lot of stunt guys, I used to go horse riding with them. I heard they had a problem so I got in touch. I met [writer-director James] Clavell and he said here’s the script, give me a result tonight. This massive script! So I went and tucked meself away in a hotel somewhere and read it. So I went along to see him. He said which part do you want – this one or that one? One part you don’t say anything because your tongue’s cut out, the other part you say something but you’re not on the film so long.

'So I said I’ll have the part that doesn’t speak! Brian Blessed got the other part. I just let my hair grow for that one. I think we did something like 14 weeks on that, it was great. There was a little bit filmed near Windsor, the battle scene with the castle. That was shot at some lake near Windsor. They built the big set there and the cannons going off and everything.

'The rest of it we shot in Austria, we had a great time over there – nice hotel, a club, everybody get together, it was great fun. Mike did a lovely job on that. I had this young kid who had to ride on the back of the horse with me. Clavell’s daughters were in it. It was a great time. I worked with Clavell a few times after that – Shogun (see above), Noble House. Nice guy, really nice guy.

'Mike did a great job on it, I don’t know what he thought of it. It was a huge movie, but the problem was they had to cut it down. Clavell said they’re going to make me cut this, they just won’t show a film of this length. That’s what really did it in. It is a movie of great scope. It’s a bit like Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, the Russell Crowe film I just worked on, that’s a big movie. Of course they can show it as a big movie now. At that time, the studios weren’t putting out films of that length. The Last Valley lost a lot in the cutting. It was quite a massive movie.

'They built an entire village, used local people, it was quite amazing. I met my wife on that, she turned up in Innsbruck with her sister. They were just leaving to catch a train, they missed the train, it was pouring with rain and we turned up in this beer garden, a whole bunch of us. We thought they were German, but we got talking to them and found out they were American. I gave my room to her and her sister. Brian and I shared a room, and they shared my room. That’s how I got to know her and got married a couple of years later.

'It was a wonderful time for us, very romantic area. It was a wonderful place to be. We had a few things went wrong. When you get a bunch of guys together and stick ‘em in the middle of Europe for 14 weeks, we had a lot of the stunt guys, a lot of young guys, not too many women. It gets a little bit boisterous. Everyone was dancing to J’Taime and My Cherie Amour – my wife’s name was Cherie, so that was quite apropos.

'The thing about movies, although I’ve worked with Mike in a few films, you tend not to meet up with the same people. You might seem them in the next movie, or you might not see them for twenty years. Like in Master and Commander, I bumped into people on that I hadn’t seen in 20 years, like Bob Pugh. We worked together on a TV series, Danger UXB. And there’s me and Bob on ship, instead of blowing up bombs.'

It was thirty years before Innes and Caine worked together again:

'I’d been out of work for a while, I broke my leg, in the Shakespeare Globe in 96. I was out of work for two years, my leg was really gone. I’d taken a day job. I obviously still had my name is spotlight. I got a call to go along and see John Irvin and got a small part in Shiner. That pleased me because it was in the same area where I used to live, I was brought up around that way - Stepney and Bethnal Green. I used to go to the York Hall, where the big fights took place, we used to go and have a bath in there, a weekly bath.

'My dad had been a boxer. That whole thing of the East End was very much into boxing. It was nice to get into that. The night I got on it, we were down Brick Lane in a car park. I was talking to Terry Spinks who’s a boxer and Sammy McCarthy, Terry got the MBE this year. Terry was there as one of the guests, and Nosher Powell and Sammy McCarthy who was a big fighter when I was a teenager, he was everybody’s idol then. We’re standing in a car park, night-time, and having a chat and suddenly this voice from behind says, "Hi George".

'I turn around and I’m looking at Mike’s driver. And there’s Mike, an enormous guy, I never realised how tall he was. There’s no front to him, he just comes over and I introduce him to the people. He was so friendly, a lovely guy. That’s the nice thing about him, he’s so at your level, all the time. Of course, he’s on a totally different level. He’s always got a joke and everything, he’s wonderful, wonderful. '

The two actors were reunited in a film directed by Fred Schepisi:

'When we were on Last Orders with all those guys - Tom Courtenay, Bob Hoskins, David Hemmings, Ray Winstone. It was hilarious sitting in make-up and having terrible things done to done to them – they go from young guys to their real age – putting bits on, taking bits off. They were all in there together, no special treatment. When we were on Master and Commander, Russell has his make-up done over there, away from us. But that was a big, big cast so you can’t all pile in. But in Last Orders was not a big budget movie and they were all crowded in – no embarrassment, just a great bunch of guys. '

In 2003, a new version of The Italian Job was being made:

'They’re doing a remake now. They were shooting it while we were out in Mexico [for Master and Commander]. They were going to be in Italy about Christmas time. It’s a huge cult movie. You bump into people all over the world who are into it. People who want their Mini signed! When we were doing NN, my driver on the last day gave me a Scaletrix thing of minis. It’s a universal picture. We had a lot of fun.

'I remember one time when we were up in the mountains, pushing the Aston off the top. I’m looking at it and thinking – I’d done a lot of heavy work, labouring and fruit market – I’m looking at this earth mover thing, trying to lift up this car and I’m thinking he’s going the wrong way about this. He’s approaching it downhill, he should be approaching it uphill. He goes to lift it, it slips away. He goes to lift it again, it slips away. By the time he gets it on the claw, the scoop, we’re all there – Mike’s there, Raf Vallone’s there, all of us and he’s only a few feet from us. He goes to push it over the top and Pat, the guy in charge of special effects, he’s on the other side of the wall – we’re up a mountain.

'It’s supposed to tumble down into the valley and explode. He sees it on the wall, thinks it’s going. The driver decides he’s going to have another go at it, leaves it on the wall, comes back for another run at it, Pat pushes the plunger and the car just exploded on top of the wall. Nearly blew us all up, it was massive. The guy then pushes it down and over and the whole place is on fire! We’re doing a bucket run from a little stream, trying to put out this fire! It was bad but it could have been worse. They had to find another Aston after that.'

2007 Oscar nominations: quirky!

The nominations have been announced for the Oscars and a right mixed bag of quirky choices they are too. Not so much the choices themselves, as the bizarro combinations. For example, the musical Dreamgirls got most nominations of any movie but wasn't selected for best picture, best director or a screenplay award. Its eight noms are somewhat misleading, as they don't represent anything like a sweep of the major categories. Instead the film got nods for best supporting actor [Eddie Murphy], best supporting actress [Jennifer Hudson], three craft categories and three competing nominations for best original song.

In another quirk, none of the best actor nominees have been selected for any of the films chosen as best picture nominees. More common is the disconnect between best picture and best director catgories. There's always some poor sod who helms a best picture nominee but gets overlooked for their direction. This year Paul Greengrass gets a nod as director of United 93, while Little Miss Sunshine takes its place in best picture, leaving director Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris out in the cold.

Over in best actress, Kate Winslet picks up her fifth acting nomination - and all the portents suggest she's going home empty-handed again. There's plenty of time, she's only 31. Judi Dench got her sixth nomination this year for Notes on a Scandal and the dame is 72. Still, Kate must be wondering when it'll be her year. Perhaps the company of Meryl Streep will be a comfort. Streep picked up her 14th nomination for The Devil Wears Prada. She has won twice, but not since Sophie's Choice in 1983 - nearly quarter of a century ago! Streep has been nominated ten times since then, but some of the films are kinda hard to recall.

Silkwood and Out of Africa, not a problem. Ironweed I happened to see at the pictures, by some unhappy chance. But does anyone remember Evil Angels from 1988? [Just looked it up on imdb.com - no wonder I didn't remember it, the film was called A Cry in the Dark outside America. It's the true story of Lindy "Dingoes stole my baby!" Chamberlain.] Then there's Postcards From the Edge, The Bridges of Madison County, One True Thing [that one's not ringing a lot of bells], Music of the Heart [huh?], Adaptation and now The Devil Wears Prada.

Just for fun, here are my snap predictions of who'll win Oscars. Come back after the ceremony and laugh at how many of these I got wrong, wrong and wrong again...

Picture - The Queen [a longshot, but you never know]
Actor - Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland
Actress - Helen Mirren, The Queen
Supporting Actor - Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
Supporting Actress - Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
Director - Stephen Frears, The Queen [even more of a longshot]
Original Screenplay - Peter Morgan, The Queen
Adapted Screenplay - Todd Field, Tom Perrotta, Little Children

TV drama wakes from festive hibernation

Late December and early January are something of a fallow period for fresh, exciting TV drama. In Britain the soaps continue plugging away, but most of the post-Xmas storylines deal with leftovers - much like cuisine on December 27. The heavy-hitting dramas tend to get held back until people are paying attention. Happily, this hibernation is coming to an end on both sides of the Atlantic.

In the US shows like Friday Night Lights and Ugly Betty made a quick comeback soon after New Year, looking to reconnect with their respective audiences before the juggernaut known as American Idol made its annual return. [American Idol's kind of like the new, improved Death Star in Return of the Jedi - but more resilient.] Jack's back in 24, although British viewers without Sky will be waiting until August for the DVD box set to see what calamities befall Agent Bauer this year.

This season's breakout US hit Heroes made its comeback last night in America, as did Aaron Sorkin's much-debated Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Last but not least, Veronica Mars resumes her third season tonight on the CW network across the Atlantic, counter-programmed against President Bush's annual State of the Union speech. That might drive some extra youth demographic in Veronica's direction, which can only be a good thing. Apparently the final five episodes of this season will be standalone stories, and a fourth season is looking less than certain. Save Veronica, that's what I say.

Back in the UK, BBC1 launches a much-hyped drama mini-series called Five Days tonight, so I'll probably give that a look. Can't be long until last year's breakout show Life on Mars returns for its second and final series. There more cases for Inspector Morse's former sidekick Lewis in February, and ITV is launching its response to the Doctor Who phenomenon with Primeval - time travel and dinosaurs, you can't get that wrong, can you? We'll see. Hell, it won't be long before Doctor Who returns for its third season under showrunner Russell T Davies.

Yes, things are looking up on the TV drama front. Let's hope the lengthening days and increase of quality television viewing also herald some movement in other areas where I've been nagging away, trying to get a foot in the door. Time will tell.

In other news, Vicious Imagery did have its 30,000th visitor last night, not long after 10pm Greenwich Mean Time. The person is question uses an ISP based in Los Angeles called Level 3 Comms, accessed this blog on a machine using Firefox for Windows as their browser and logged in at 2.18pm Los Angeles time. Hello, whoever you are - hope you enjoyed your time with Vicious Imagery.

Seven visitors away from 30,000

Unlikely at it seems, Vicious Imagery is fast approaching its 30,000th visitor. Alas, that's not unique visitors, but it's nice to have regulars - hey, everybody's welcome! The blog gets an average of 130 visits a day, not bad for something I write to avoid doing proper work. I might get lucky and be able to tell you where visitor #30,000 hails from. Check back tomorrow and we'll see...

Hmm, need to work on my cliffhangers.

Warm the heart of your cockles with yammer

Huzzah! The heating is fixed and the icicles hanging from my nose have started to thaw. Both of these qualify as a good thing. Romantic as the notion of writing in the eves... [is that how you spell eves? Hold on a second... Hmm, it's kind of hard to look up a word in the dictionary if you're not sure how to spell it... give me another second... oh, hang on, hasn't it got an A in it? One more second, honest... yes, there we go - eaves: the edge of a roof that projects beyond the wall] writing in the eaves of a semi-frozen house, trust me, it ain't. It's just cold. Of course, having now just looked up the definition of eaves, I'm not int he eaves. To be there, I'd have to be outside the house. And I do believe it's actually colder outside than inside, though you'd never have known that this morning. Trust me.

Where was I? Oh yes, it's warm again. Positively toasty. Like a nice, big cosy hug of warmth that is all warm adn cosy and toasty inside. In essence: not cold. Which is a a good thing. Grud, you can tell I've just watched seazns 6 and 7 of The West Wing back to back, can't you? I'm just yammering on here - is yammering even a real word? Hol don a second... Yes, it is! According to my Collins Concise Dictionary, a yammer is nonsense, jabber. As a verb it is to utter or whine in a complaining manner. Hmm, think I prefer to think of it as nonsense. Anywhere, way was I? Or even anyway, where was I? [Hey, did you know a wyvern is a heraldic beast having a serpent's tail and a dragon's head and a body with wings and two legs? You did? Oh well, good for you.]

Anyway, it's warm again. In other news Andy Murray's just lost to Nadal in the Australian Open. I watched the 4th set and got the feeling if Murray didn't close it out there, he wasn't going to close the deal. So it proved, but Murray gave Nadal one hell of a scare and proved he's the real deal, if anybody still had any doubts. And one of editors tells me I'm getting a nice wad of money in my bank account on Friday, so that'll take the pressure off for the next few weeks.

All good news. Well, except for Andy Murray losing, but you can't have it all, right? Unless you're a wyvern. I mean, who needs a dragon's head and a serpent's tail and two legs and wings, right? Doesn't that seem like over-egging the heraldic beast pudding? Much like that last, exceedingly ugly sentence. I'll stop now, while I'm behind. At least I'm warm. Hmm, warm...

Can you feel the COLD tonight?

Got home on Saturday after spending the day in Edinburgh to discover the central heating boiler had gone bung. Inevitably, this has coincided with the coldest spell of winter thus far. When you love in Scotland, you tend to take central heating for granted - until you don't have it. I'm hoping the problem will be fixed today before my fingers fall off, as they may be an impediment to my writing career. Brrrrrrrrr.

Finished and submitted my 25-minute screenplay for the script development module on my MA course last week. This week I need to submit a 3000 word essay as the final piece of assessed work on the other module I'm taking this trimester, From Script to Screen. Our task is to select and write about a film made before 1980 that we would like to remake. There are all sorts of issues to contemplate and we're required to quote from a minimum of twelve sources, of which no more than six can have been taken from the internet.

Happily, I got the chance to gouge the British Film Institute archives for relevant material when I was down in London last month for the TAPS TV script editing course. I'd have struggled otherwise, as my chosen film is a New Zealand movie from 1977 called Sleeping Dogs. It's not widely known outside NZ and finding relevant sources of information and opinion about it would have been next to impossible otherwise. I plan to watch the film two or three times today, to help solidify my ideas.

Before I can do that, I need to finish plotting an issue of The Phantom for Egmont Sweden. I was supposed to do that at the start of this month, but other tasks intervened. If I want to see any money in late February or early March, I have to do some paying work in the next week or two. Devoting more time to the mentoring project and my MA Screenwriting course is good for my advancement as a scribe, but bad for the bank balance. Besides, if the boiler needs replacing, it won't be cheap.

Films of Michael Caine #51: The Fourth Protocol

Cast: Michael Caine (John Preston), Pierce Brosnan (Petrofsky), Ned Beatty (Borisov), Joanna Cassidy (Vassilievna), Julian Glover (Brian Harcourt-Smith), Michael Gough (Sir Bernard Hemmings), Ray McAnally (General Karpov), Ian Richardson (Sir Nigel Irvine), Anton Rodgers (George Berenson).

Crew: John Mackenzie (director), Timothy Burrill (producer), Frederick Forsyth (writer), Lalo Schifrin (music), Phil Meheux (cinematography), Graham Walker (editor), Allan Cameron (production designer).

Synopsis: The Cold War is finally thawing. To maintain his power-base as chairman of the KGB, General Govershin launches a covert operation to break the fourth protocol of a nuclear arms treaty. This prohibits the smuggling of atomic weapons. Major Petrofsky is sent to Britain and takes up residence beside a US air base. Couriers bring him the components to assemble an atomic bomb. But one courier is intercepted, alerting British agent John Preston to the operation. Govershin’s deputy, General Karpov, also discovers what is being planned. A Russian operative is spotted entering Britain. Preston follows the operative to a Greek café outside London. This leads British intelligence to Petrofsky’s residence. Preston and special forces gunmen storm the house and prevent Petrofsky from detonating the bomb. The Russian is murdered to prevent him talking. Preston realises it was Karpov who sent the operative, leading the British agents to Petrofsky. Karpov will use the failure to usurp Govershin and take control of the KGB…

Frederick Forsyth became a best selling novelist in the 1970s and 1980s with a succession of thrillers like The Day of the Jackal and The Odessa File, books with a veneer of verisimilitude. Several were transformed into successful films. When The Fourth Protocol was published in 1984, the author set up a production company with his old friend Caine to transform the story into a movie. Both invested money in the project. Forsyth was determined to write the adaptation himself, preparing seven drafts of the screenplay.

Director John Mackenzie was approached with the project. He had previously directed Caine in The Honorary Consul (1983). In an exclusive interview for this book, Mackenzie recalled the development process: ‘With the best will in the world, Freddie Forsyth can write a certain type of novel, but he’s not a screenwriter. The script was awful! This was a guy who was putting a million of his own money into the damn thing. I said I’ll only do it if I can rewrite the script. The producer, Timothy Burrill, eventually persuaded him to let me rewrite the script. Forsyth instantly regretted it, of course, but the thing had to get going.’ Mackenzie brought in a writer called Richard Burridge. ‘The film was practically underway. It was all last minute. We had a lot of problems, but I just carried on and made the film. We tried to make something more than had been in the original script.’

The $7 million production began shooting in February 1986. Finland was used to represent scenes in Russia, with the bulk of shooting at locations in the UK and studio work lensed at Elstree. Caine acknowledged similarities between his role in The Fourth Protocol and another British spy he had played previously, Harry Palmer, during an interview with the New York Times in 1987. But he also maintained the characters had their differences. ‘To me, Harry was a gifted amateur, which is what the British were 15 or 20 years ago. Preston is a top professional, which I think the British have become lately.’

He also discussed the two roles with the Daily Mail. ‘Someone asked me the other day what the difference was. I said Harry Palmer was Woody Allen and John Preston is Clint Eastwood – and I am one of the few actors who can play both.’

Mackenzie found it difficult getting any intensity of performance from Caine. ‘He’d done much more exciting parts of this type before. It was a dull part, there was nothing there. He sort of walked through it, it didn’t stretch him.’ Mackenzie attributes this to flaws in the script. ‘We did try and give him a sort of background, some depth, a dead wife and things. But that central character was not such a great character.’ The director campaigned for Burridge to receive proper credit. Ultimately the screenplay was attributed solely to Forsyth, with other credits going to Burridge for additional material and to George Axelrod for screenstory adaptation.

The film opened in the UK during March 1987, with a 15 rating. It received a mixed reaction from critics, who felt the plot got in the way of characterisation, and grossed just over $1 million. The Fourth Protocol was more successful in the US, where the R-rated film grossed more than $12 million. It was later released on video but has since been deleted. It is not currently available on DVD.

Reviews: ‘A decidedly contempo thriller … its edge is a fine aura of realism. Michael Caine … gives a thorough performance in a part that doesn’t really stretch his abilities.’ – Variety
‘Caine is a true master of the screen, communicating so much with so little material, but here he is given … too little.’ – Sunday Times

Verdict: The Fourth Protocol never catches fire, with nearly half the film elapsed before the main threat is revealed. In the meantime British intelligence has been pursuing what proves to be an utterly irrelevant subplot. Attempts to inject some life into the central characters fail, with Preston just an older, slower version of Harry Palmer. Caine gives a professional but thoroughly uninvolving performance, outshone by Pierce Brosnan’s compelling work as Petrofsky. At the time this film was made, Brosnan was being considered to replace Roger Moore as James Bond. Here you can see a sneak preview of the ruthless streak he now displays as 007. The Fourth Protocol is better than some thrillers Caine made in during the mid-1980s, but it still feels like a big budget TV movie.

Films of Michael Caine #50: Half Moon Street

Cast: Sigourney Weaver (Lauren Slaughter), Michael Caine (Lord Bulbeck), Patrick Kavanagh (General Sir George Newhouse), Faith Kent (Lady Newhouse), Ram John Holder (Lindsay Walker), Keith Buckley (Hugo Van Arkady), Ann Hanson (Mrs Van Arkady), Patrick Newman (Julian Shuttle), Niall O’Brien (Captain Twilley), Nadim Sawalha (Karim Hatami), Vincent Lindon (Sonny).

Crew: Bob Swaim (director), Geoffrey Reeve (producer), Bob Swaim and Edward Behr (writers), Richard Harvey (music), Peter Hannan (cinematography), Richard Marden (editor), Anthony Curtis (production designer).

Synopsis: Dr Lauren Slaughter is an American academic working at the Institute for Middle Eastern Strategic Studies in London. The job is prestigious but the poor pay barely covers the rent for her rundown bedsitter. Dr Slaughter struggles to overcome entrenched establishment attitudes. She is anonymously sent a videotape about high class prostitutes and decides to become an escort – but on her own terms. Among her clients are a rich Palestinian called Karim and Britain’s leading expert on the Middle East, Lord Bulbeck. Karim arranges for Dr Slaughter to take over renting his flat in Half Moon Street. She becomes romantically involved with Lord Bulbeck. He is busy arranging a secret peace summit near London. Lord Bulbeck agrees to have dinner at her flat, despite security concerns. Dr Slaughter is attacked in her flat by a would-be assassin. She kills him but is then held hostage by Karim. The Palestinian is using her as bait to ensnare and murder Lord Bulbeck. Dr Slaughter is rescued by British security forces, who shoot dead Karim…

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Half Moon Street began life as Dr Slaughter, a novel by Paul Theroux. In 1987 producer Geoff Reeve told What’s On magazine about the film’s genesis: ‘I am a voracious book reader. I read Dr Slaughter and was really grabbed by its sardonic, almost brittle, approach to a story, which is fundamentally about a girl taking on the British establishment. There was an outsider’s look at London, whether or not one liked the perception of the place. I gambled a huge amount of money to buy the rights because I thought it was a hot property.’

Reeve said he had wanted an outsider as director. He picked Swaim after seeing the director’s previous picture, La Balance (1982), a tough thriller that was a box office hit and critical success in France. Swaim and Edward Behr adapted the story for the big screen. ‘My attitude is very simple,’ Swaim told Films and Filming in 1986. ‘A book is a book and a film is a film. The two creatures are very different. I create the whole story just as much as if I was working from an idea overheard in a bar.’ The screenplay went through six drafts.

For the lead role of Dr Slaughter rising star Sigourney Weaver was chosen, having just finished the science fiction sequel Aliens (1986). Caine was cast as Lord Bulbeck, although he was nearly 20 years younger than Bulbeck in Theroux’s novel. Half Moon Street began shooting at locations around London and on set at Elstree Studios in the summer of 1985. But Reeve was not happy with the results. ‘For the first time in my life I felt my own power reducing,’ the producer told What’s On. ‘Heavyweight US agents came in and the scripts changed. It did become something of a studio picture, rather than be shot on locations. I felt positively excluded from any decision making. It was a lesson … an unhappy one as far as I’m concerned.’

Caine told the Sunday Express he had enjoyed working on the movie. ‘It’s the ideal sort of film for me. A short shooting schedule in a nice place with nice people. A film takes a lot of time out of your life so you’d better be sure you’re going to be happy with the people and the place. Half Moon Street is great on both counts. I can’t see myself going to the Antarctic with a load of people I hate just to get an Oscar nomination.’ Caine obviously got on well with Reeve - this film was the first of five they have made together.

The movie opened in the US during September 1986, rated R. It was unpopular with critics and the public, grossing just over a million dollars. Response to the18-rated film was just as poor in the UK several months later, although some reviewers praised Weaver’s performance. Half Moon Street was soon released on VHS in both territories. It has been deleted in Britain but remains available in America. A US DVD release is due in 2003.

Reviews: ‘It’s an honourable failure which boasts an interesting subject and an intelligent performance from Weaver. Caine could have done without his glue-on moustache.’ – The Daily Telegraph
‘Half Moon Street is a half-baked excuse for a film that is redeemed not a whit by having Sigourney Weaver and Michael Caine in the starring roles.’ – Variety

Verdict: Muddled is the most polite way to describe this movie. It tries to be a romance, a thriller, a political tale and anti-establishment blow for feminism – and fails. Things happen, more things happen, and finally a deus ex machina rescues Dr Slaughter just before the film stops. There is little emotional development in any of the characters, while seemingly important sub-plots are introduced and then forgotten. The vignettes of Weaver as sex worker are laughably unerotic. Attempts to make a point about gender politics are delivered with sledgehammer subtlety. Caine strolls through a film that offers him nothing more challenging than sporting a moustache. It’s hard to give a damn about this film or anyone in it. Don’t waste your time.

Films of Michael Caine #49: Sweet Liberty

Cast: Alan Alda (Michael Burgess), Michael Caine (Elliott James), Michelle Pfeiffer (Faith Healy), Bob Hoskins (Stanley Gould), Lise Hilboldt (Gretchen Carlsen), Lillian Gish (Cecelia Burgess), Saul Rubinek (Bo Hodges), Lois Chiles (Leslie), Linda Thorson (Grace).

Crew: Alan Alda (director), Martin Bregman (producer), Alan Alda (writer), Bruce Broughton (music), Frank Tidy (cinematography), Michael Economu (editor), Ben Edwards (production design).

Synopsis: Michael Burgess is a history professor at a college in the small town of Sayeville. His prize-winning book about the American War of Independence is being turned into a Hollywood film. Michael is dating another professor, Gretchen Carlsen, but she doesn’t want to live with him and he doesn’t want to get married. The cast and crew arrives in town to begin shooting. Michael is horrified when he reads the script adapted from his book. Screenwriter Stanley Gould has turned historical fact into low-brow comedy. Stanley begs Michael to help him rewrite the script. The historian is smitten by lead actress Faith Healy, mistaking her method acting as her true personality.

Michael and Gretchen split up. Stanley and Michael feed their rewrites directly to Faith and the leading man, self-destructive womaniser Elliott James. They persuade the director to use the rewrites. Michael sleeps with Faith. He is shocked when she seduces Elliott to improve their on-screen chemistry. Frustrated with the director’s disregard for history, Michael leads the local people employed as extras in a mutiny, destroying a $300,000 day of filming. When the production leaves town, Michael and Gretchen get back together. Having learned to compromise, they decide to get married. At the film’s premiere, Gretchen is pregnant…

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Alan Alda became an international star thanks to his role as Hawkeye Pierce in the long-running TV series M*A*S*H. When that concluded in 1983, he created a short-lived television show called The Four Seasons. Alda’s next project was the film Sweet Liberty (1986), which he wrote, directed and played the starring part . The role of conceited, arrogant film star Elliott James was written especially for Caine, as he told Films and Filming in 1986. ‘Alan Alda phones me up and said, “I’ve got just the part for you – a big-headed movie star.’ – how could I refuse?’

Caine had just finished filming Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) in New York. In 1987 he told the Scotsman newspaper both roles were chosen to prove his comedy skills. ‘I wanted to change my image … I could get plenty of leads as gangsters and spies and lunatics and nutcases or in dramatic pictures, but I couldn’t get a leading role in a comedy.’

Sweet Liberty was filmed in the summer of 1985, with extensive location work at Sag Habour and Suffolk County in the state of New York. The leading actors were given the use of palatial mansions in the expensive Hamptons resort during filming. The picture reunited Caine with Bob Hoskins. The pair met and became firm friends while making The Honorary Consul (1983) in Mexico.

Interviewed by Us magazine in 1990, Hoskins said Caine tormented him during the filming of Sweet Liberty. ‘I was setting up Mona Lisa (1986) at that point. And I really wanted him to play the villain in that, but … we couldn't afford him, really, so it would have been a big favour. And he kept saying, "I've got a script here, something called Mona Lisa - have you heard if it's any good?" And I'd just tell him to read it. I mean, I didn't want to say, "Yeah, it's great, you've got to do it!" He finally read it and said it wasn't bad. We … chatted about it and I thought, "Well, that's the end of that." Then on the first day of filming Mona Lisa, there he was: "You didn't think I'd be here, did you?”’

Sweet Liberty was released across America in May 1986, rated PG. Critics gave it mediocre notices and the picture grossed just over $14 million. In Britain the BBFC required two seconds to be cut before classifying as PG. Reviewers were unimpressed but praised the comic talents of Caine and Hoskins. The film was released on video in 1987 but has since been deleted. It is not yet available on DVD.

Reviews: ‘The movie wants to juggle a lot of characters all at once, but it keeps dropping the most interesting ones.’ – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
‘Alan Alda … is completely outshone by Michael Caine as a delightfully flippant English film star with a lecherous disposition and Bob Hoskins as a dim extrovert scriptwriter.’ – Daily Express

Verdict: Sweet Liberty could have been a good comedy, but a profusion of unfocused subplots restrict it to just occasionally amusing. Alda’s film keeps introducing new characters but never gives them room to develop. A subplot involving the elderly mother of Alda’s character seems to have wandered in from another movie altogether. There’s plenty of fun to be had from Hollywood invading a small town – David Mamet made more from the concept in State and Main (2000) – yet Alda never gets beyond the obvious. Caine has great fun in his part, romping around as a latter day Errol Flynn. But he gets too little screen time in a film that never succeeds in pulling all its threads together. Sweet Liberty is amiable and inoffensive, but nothing more.