Unexpected guest gatecrashes minor London event

Genius photo taken by @stephenackroyd.

Blog post #1978: "Oh, bondage? Up yours!"

No mention of the late 1970s should omit punk rock, in my humble opinion. The new music was on the rise during 1976, and the Jubilee in '77 saw it explode into the mainstream. This week one of punk's most influential female singers, Poly Styrene, died. Here's a clip of her performing Oh, Bondage? Up Yours! with the X-Ray Specs in 1978.



In New Zealand where I grew up, punk didn't really arrive until 1978. Punk lovers in school used to signal their allegiance by wearing safety pins under the collars of their shirts. Emerging Kiwi punk bands like the Enemy and the Surburban Reptiles wore their influences on their sleeves. Here's a vintage clip of the Reps playing Megaton.



Even though punk was making some noise in NZ, the only local act that had a number single that year was housewives' favourite John Rowles with his country-tinged ballad Tania. Can't find a 1978 video for it, but I challenge you to listen all the way through this YouTube upload of the song [no wonder we embraced punk so much]:

Blog Post #1977: Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind

This is my one thousand, nine hundred and seventy-seventh blog posting, which is frightening amount of verbiage and daft video clips collected in one place. Most bloggers have long since migrated to other social media like Twitter [where you can find me @davidbishop], but I'm happy to keep blogging my journey as a writer.

To celebrate the imminent arrival of my 2000th blog posting, I've decided to do a themed countdown. And since this is posting 1977, today's posting looks back at the year Star Wars first burst into our consciousness and iconic British comic 2000AD was launched. But I'm ignoring both of them, because they've been well mined here before.

Instead, I want to praise another great leap forwards for science fiction and filmmaking from 1977 - Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Before he opted for cute aliens like E.T., Spielberg came up with this remarkable story of a man suffering chronic depression who abandons his family to chase UFOs.

IN all honesty, I can't imagine Spielberg making this movie now. It's so 1970s, full of bleak paranoia and sinister undertones - a real product of the Watergate era. But I loved CE3K when I first saw it at the pictures, and still think it's a great piece of filmmaking. Below is one of my favourite scenes: simple, yet incredible tension.


Next is a scene deleted from the movie, which some kindly soul has uploaded to YouTube, presumably from a DVD or Blu-Ray special edition [hmm, must get that soon]. I'm guessing this got cut for timing reasons, plus it pulled focus from an already fractured narrative that follows several character's journeys to Devil's Tower.


Last but not least, here's a short scene from CE3K with an inappropriate soundtrack added - aliens bring the noise. Droll. Very droll.

Cracker vs Mighty Boosh: Kate Bush video oddness

Nope, me neither.

Genius: Mr Benn vs Quantum Leap titles mashup

Thsi is all sorts of awesome. One question: why is Dr Samuel Beckett [a.k.a. Mr Benn] hanging out with as astronaut and/or deep sea diver version of Adolf Hitler around 1:35 into this video? Most bizarre.

Dealing with notes: good, bad and the contradictory

Using feedback to improve your next draft is the mark of a good writer, in my humble opinion. Few of us are so talented, so blessed with genius that we can't benefit from an objective reader or three looking over our latest draft. Self-editing is among the hardest skills for a writer to master, along with critical self-reflection.

Most writers worth the name can tell if something isn't quite working in a draft, often while still writing it. But they push forwards and finish that draft - because it's what writers do [indeed, what they must do]. Assuming the problem doesn't completely derail your story, you can come back and fix the problem later. It's why we rewrite.

As writers we have the ability to fool ourselves. Maybe nobody else will notice that this character's voice isn't consistent, or that it doesn't fit their circumstances or their age. Maybe that piece of on-the-nose dialogue will scream LAME when read by other eyes. Maybe that plot contrivance won't seem quite so shit in a broader context.

But, of course, they do. That's why feedback is crucial, why notes forces us to face up to the things that aren't working in our writing. How you deal with notes is crucial to the development of your project, and to your progress as a writer. But not all feedback is good, not all notes are helpful. Some are downright contradictory.

This week I've been gathering feedback on The Specials, a new spec script. I did a lot of the development work on it last summer, but didn't get to write a first draft until the last few weeks. But the project benefited from being left alone seven months, that definitely gave me fresh perspective on it, what the script was for.

Having written the first draft, I enlisted the aid of various readers whose judgement I trust. I've just printed out all the feedback and it makes for interesting reading. the good news is everyone likes the core concept, the central characters and the execution. There are several common notes that definitely need addressing.

There are some notes with which I fundamentally diagree, because adopting them would fundamentally change the nature of this script - the format of the show [it's a returning TV drama series], and the writing style. I might consider that in future, but right now I want to enhance and polish what I've got.

[Among other destinations, I'll be using the script as my sample for the BBC Writers' Academy. Deadline for submissions is May 5th, so there isn't time for a fundamental re-envisaging of the project. It'll also be the new calling card for my agent to fire at various production companies, so I'll see what feedback the industry offers.]

Even the notes I fundamentally disagree with are useful, just as bad notes are useful. For me, a bad note is a suggestion that makes the project worse, or merely different. Different may be required, but a good note challenges the writer to make their project better, pushes them to go the extra distance to better execute their story.

But such notes will usefully point to an underlying weakness. If the reader felt obliged to suggest a solution, you can often ignore the suggestion - but you should take the underlying problem seriously. You have to look beyond the note and find the think that isn't working, the unmotivated plot point or unconvincing character.

Contradictory notes can be a real challenge. One of my readers hated a particular sequence near the end of the script, dismissing it as a gag-inducing cliche. Another reader praised the same scene, thought it was lovely. When notes directly contradict, it's a coin toss decision which to implement - or you can call it a no-score draw.

In fact, the same sequence brought another note that identified a fundamental problem. The sequence features something that breaks the format of the show, undermining my choice of narrative position. [More and more, I'm coming to believe narrative position and tone are the two more important choices a writer makes on any project.]

So I will be revisiting that sequence, with some hard choices to make. But that's what notes and feedback are for: to make you dig that bit deeper into your story, identify the weak points and make them stronger. All the feedback in the world won't make your story any better - it's what you do with the notes that counts. Onwards!

Genius: Being in a film means never saying goodbye

Via the wonderful blog of screenwriter John August.

Goodbye, Sarah Jane: Elisabeth Sladen, RIP

So sad to hear the news about Elisabeth Sladen. I grew up watching her play Sarah Jane Smith in Doctor Who, first alongside Jon Pertwee and then during the first wonderful few years of Tom Baker's stint. When I was commissioned to write my first who novel for BBC Books, there was never any doubting my choice of companion.

When I heard Big Finish was going to produce Sarah Jane audios, I badgered poor Gary Russell relentlessly until he let me pitch a story. Lis herself choose mine effort, Test of Nerve, as one of the scripts for the first series. She sent me a lovely, handwritten letter of thanks afterwards, one of few mementoes I've bothered to keep.

Then in 2005 I was asked to write the whole second series of Sarah Jane Smith audio adventures. Lis was actively involved in the development process, suggesting story ideas and making sure we maintained the integrity and spirit of the character. While that was happening, Russell T Davies brought her back for the new series of Who on TV.

[For a while, it looked like Sarah Jane's appearance in School Reunion might cancel out all our efforts on the audio dramas. But the production office in Cardiff kindly let things go ahead, for which I've always been grateful.]

The photo shows Lis with Tom Chadborn [Duggan from City of Death] and the delicious Jacqueline Pearce [Servalan] in a break from recording Sarah Jane Smith 2.3: Fatal Consequences. I think that was Doctor Who anniversary day, November 23 2005. A wonderful day in the studio, watching all three of them act up a storm.

I'm proud of all five Sarah Jane audio adventures I wrote for Lis, so glad they did her and the character justice. They pale into significance alongside The Sarah Jane Adventures, Russell's delightful Who spin-off for younger viewers. They cemented Lis's place in the hearts of another generation, they'll remember her all their lives.

And now Lis is gone. I still can't believe it, don't want to believe it but some sad truths can't be avoided. Deepest sympathies to her friends and family, especially Brian and Sadie. Lis will always be our Sarah Jane...

They don't make TV dramas like this anymore. Sigh.

Every now and then, I wish UK TV dramas didn't have to be quite so worthy. Pitch an idea for a show and you'll inevitably be asked what does your concept have to say about Britain today? Grrr. I miss shows that didn't feel obliged to offer social commentary.

One such show was The Persuaders, a series so cheesy it could easily have been renamed Quattro Formaggi for the Italian market. Plus it had a cracking theme tune by the late, great John Barry [as heard above]. If you enjoy that version of The Persuaders theme [featuring Róisín Murphy on vocals], you can download it free and legally here.

Why confidence is the signpost of better writing

More and more, I'm coming to the conclusion that the magic ingredient for writing is confidence. Knowing not just what your story, but also where it's going, who your characters are, what they're going to do or say. That assurance permeates every word of a script or story. It tells the reader: I know where I'm going. Come with me.

Writer's block is where confidence fails. The writer doesn't know their story or their characters or their world. Maybe they haven't done enough research. Maybe they haven't dug deep enough into their creations. Maybe they've lost confidence in their idea, their reason for writing the story, for writing in this genre or for this medium.

A writer with confidence has a boldness that engages. As a reader, you know you're in the hands of someone with skill, something to say and the means to express that. It's the difference between getting in a car with a learner at the wheel and being the passenger of an experienced driver. You relax, you sat back, you enjoy the ride.

Confidence isn't always born of experience, and experienced writers aren't always confident. Many feel like pretenders, waiting to be found out. Of course, experience does foster confidence. Once you've done something, you know a little bit more of what to expect, so the next time isn't so terrifying, so filled with unknowns.

But there are writers with limited experience whose work brims with confidence. I'm in the midst of marking a load of MA Creative Writing student submissions, and some of their efforts are bursting with verve and wit and confidence. Why? Because they know what they're doing. They know their world, their story, their characters.

No hesitant prose, no unconvincing characters, no limp as lettuce dialogue. The work boldly goes, not giving a shit about splitting infinitives. It's brimming with brio, replete with resplendence. The writers have found their voice and it's expressed through the boldness of their writing. That's where it counts. Onwards!

Genius: Smells Like the Final Teen Spirit Countdown

This shouldn't work - but it does.

Hmm, tasty: new BBC2 Drama showreel

Genius: All London 2012 promos should be this good

Courtesy of @laurencetimms, clip by Anthony Sutcliffe.

Hanging your metaphorical arse out the window a bit

Finished the rough first draft of my new spec script late on Monday. Been writing it off and on in bursts for several weeks, wrapped round other work. As always, the last day proved the most productive in terms of page count, simply because the last few pages pay-off the many, many plot elements and character revelations set up earlier.

Yesterday I spent reading the whole thing back in one seating, with the dialogue out loud to ensure it could actually be spoken. Making up the script as I went along for corrections, tweaks and improvements. Applying the Roden test [named after David Roden from the BBC], where you put a mark on the script whenever tempted to look elsewhere.

Then it was time for tweaking, polishing and finessing a fine of the minor points and problems, adding clarifications or simply streamlining the narrative. Cut a scene from very late in the script and relocated another to smooth the narrative. Retro-fitted a moment into an early scene that had a nice pay-off later. Stuff like that, really.

And now the script is out being read by a range of people with different opinions, experiences and expertise. By this time next week I should have a broad spectrum of feedback to consider. Are the opening scenes too off-putting? Does the three-stranded plot narrative work, or should I consider ditching one of the three protagonists?

Sending a new script out to be read feels very exposed, like hanging your arse out the window and inviting people to pass judgement. It's an absolutely necessary step in the process, but you can't help feeling a little bit exposed. [Is this the moment the world realises you're a fraud, you can't help but wonder.] Needs must, I guess.

When it comes to feedback, every opinion is valid. Even if you wildly disagree with the note, it will tend to highlight an underlying issue that needs consideration. If the majority of readers come back with the same note, you know it's a significant problem. If only one or two people highlight an issue, it may be less vexing.

Once all the feedback's in and contemplated, the rewriting begins. I've no doubt there are scenes that need expanding or cutting altogether. Character dialogue that wobbles all over the place, and characterisation in need to sharpening. I'd like to think the plot works well, but structural choices are all up grabs. No point being precious.

My goal's to make the next draft the best it can be. Does each scene advance the plot or reveal character? Better yet, does it do both at the same time? Do characters have distinctive voices? Does their dialogue crackle, pop and snap along? Have I made the most of visual storytelling, or could more dialogue be replaced with reaction shots?

Then there's tone, a massive challenge for any writer. I've striven for a mix of comedy and drama, mixing lighter moments with more serious sequences. Hopefully the readers will empathise with the three main characters, want to know more about them, want to see what happens to them next. Hopefully. Time - and feedback - will tell.

In case you're wondering, the script's for a returning drama police procedural series. I opted for a template episode rather than a pilot that sets up the premise. Reading this script should offer a sense of the show's narrative format, the sort of stories the series would tell, the way the characters will interact with each other.

I used a new character joining a pre-existing team to introduce the set-up to the reader while keeping exposition to a bare minimum. It might be a familiar device, but it works if deployed well [fingers crossed]. And there's a tip of the hat to two of my favourite TV dramas, The Cops and Hill Street Blues, because I couldn't resist it.

Once the next draft is done, I plan to submit it as my sample for the BBC Writers' Academy. Hundreds apply every year for only eight places, so any application faces long odds. But the quality of your writing sample is crucial to put you in the running for a place in the workshop stage, where some two dozen people are summoned to London.

Obviously, I hope to make it that far in the process but simple maths tells you not to hold your breath. With fewer opportunities elsewhere for emerging scribes, the Writers' Academy looms ever larger on the landscape. You can build a very successful career without it, but the academy is like adding rocket fuel to your ambitions.

Let's assume I don't make the academy. The good news is I have a new spec pilot to be deployed as my calling card script, once it's been torn apart, rewritten and polished to gleaming. I don't expect the series I've created will ever get made, but the script shows what I'm capable of writing right now - and that's very useful. Onwards!

Genius Scene: "Enjoy it while it lasts..."

This wonderful scene from Woody Allen's 1986 film Hannah and Her Sisters has helped me overcome a lot of angst in my own life. [Unlike the less uplifting porn version, Hannah Does Her Sisters.] Plus the clip has the added bonus of featuring a clip from wonderful Marx Brothers movie, Duck Soup - and a wonderful cut leading into it. Enjoy!

Even media-trained politicians can't avoid the odd FUBAR

Britain's glorious leader [from the Manchester Evening News].

"It was quite a lot of Hebrew": Steven Moffat on comedy

A dodgy clip of Steven Moffat talking about the process of writing his sitcom Coupling [dodgy because Steven's face is not that pink in real life]. [Not even close to that pink.] [I mean, that's almost luminous.]

Adele versus Britney mashup [Adele FTW, obviously]

I'd like to say coping with rejection gets easier in time...

...but I'd be lying. As a writer you have to develop coping strategies for dealing with rejection, otherwise you'll be a very unhappy person. Doesn't matter how successful they are, writers hear no far more often than yes. Your past commissions, publications or awards don't guarantee more awards, publications or commissions.

Everybody loves a little validation. For writers, the most obvious example is somebody saying yes to them. Yes, we want to published your story. Yes, we want you to write that script. Yes, we want to shower you with cash and praise. [That last one's a bit of a pipe dream, but writers are employed for imaginations, so we'll let it slide.]

For writers there's nothing more dangerous that depending on the approval of others for validation. Enjoy the approval when it happens, you'd be a fool not to - but don't pin all your hopes on it. That's like strapping yourself to an emotional rollercoaster without any brakes and a tendency to crash far more often than it soars. Dangerous.

Writers have to find other ways to validate themselves. The approval of others cannot be your primary source of motivation, otherwise the uncertain nature of it will drive you and those around you crazy, Ivan. Instead, focus on things over which you have some control - like writing. Take the means of validation into your own hands.

Want to be happy? Write a great story. Finish that script you've left half-done. Enter one of your efforts into a competition - and then move on. More than anything else, I believe a writer needs to keep progressing, challenging themselves, reaching beyond what's easy or comfortable. Fuck that rejection shit - validate yourself. Onwards!

Often licked, never beaten! [not as dodgy as it sounds]

People never believe me when I tell them about this jingle for Frostie Boy and, in particular, the tagline. Sounds decidedly NSFW but this was aimed at children, so get your minds out of the gutter. All of you. And no sniggering at the back. Honestly, some people...

WTF?: Beastie Boys mashup the Funny Or Die generation

You're not The Man Who Fell to Earth

The Man Who Fell to Earth starring David Bowie came out on Blu-Ray in the UK this week. An odd fact that never fails to amaze [me, at least]: The Man Who Fell to Earth is based on a novel by Walter Trevis, who also wrote The Hustler - which became a very different movie, starring Paul Newman. Anyway, The Man Who Fell to Earth gets name-checked in this glorious track. Enjoy!

Bizarre Video: Put that in your pipe and smoke it, gramps!

Genius Flowchart: So You Want To Get Published?

Somebody on Twitter [@caroleagent I think] linked to this genius flowchart of what it takes to get published. It's from the website of YA author Kate Hart, and highly recommended. Click the pic to see a larger version, or go download the jpg from Kate's site.

When Harry Met Sally 2: Hot Pensioner Love A-Go-Go!

When Harry Met Sally 2 with Billy Crystal & Helen Mirren from Billy Crystal

"Think I'll get some ice cream for pudding..."

Oh, Superman: cracking photos by Maciej Dakowicz

Love this photo by Maciej Dakowicz. It's one in a series called Cardiff After Dark. You can see view many more on Maciej's site. Enjoy!

A brief explanation for recent quietness on this blog

Morning all. Yes, it's been a bit quiet here lately. Thought I'd be blogging all the time after My Six Months of Writing Constantly ended, but that merely gave me a chance to dig into all the other things I've been neglecting. Result: no blog surge. I'm sure you're all learning to live with the disappointment. Here's a swift update.

Went to Glasgow last Monday to watch studio filming at Pacific Quay for one of my Nina and the Neuron episodes. I've scripted five eps for the new series of this science show for pre-shcoolers, all based around Brilliant Bodies and human biology. It was a delight to see the show being shot and everybody made me welcome, which was nice.

I've now been paid for all my recent labours, leaving me in the odd position of not being skint. Six years ago I gave up a lucrative career hacking out media tie-ins to retrain as a screenwriter, with TV drama as my main focus. My income got cut in half while my expenses doubled. Now I'm just back in the black financially, which is nice.

Had two story pitches rejected at Doctors, but have already gotten a new one on the producer's Pile O' Doom and have another in the works. My batting average at Doctors is not great, 5-6 failed pitches for every commission. On that basis I'm nearly due another success, which would be nice. But more effort needed on my part first.

Am heading home of New Zealand for three weeks in June, which means getting a lot of ducks in a row first. The goal is to avoid taking any work with me, as it's the proper holiday for a year. Probably longer, since I spent a lot of the last holiday writing and/or stressing about writing, having taken too much on. As usual. Sigh.

Work is progressing well on my new calling card script. I'm deliberately not dashing out the first draft, as personal history suggests I write better when I take my time. The script will be my sample for the BBC Writers' Academy, assuming I'm happy to submit it. [Applications open on Monday and close four weeks later, fact-fans.]

The process is benefiting from Write Foot Forward, a coaching programme for writers advertised by the BBC writersroom for which I selected. What happens on the programme stays on the programme, but it's been illuminating and very helpful. Nice to be on the other side of the mentoring/coaching process for a change. For now - onwards!

Game of Thrones sneak preview

Shame this is going on Sky. Which we can't get, due to trees. FFS.

Raising money for Cancer Research UK

Anybody not been affected by cancer? Thought so. My wife's running Race For Life again this year to raise money for Cancer Research UK. If you've ever found this blog useful, now's your chance to show some appreciation. Sponsor my wife's run here. I know times are tough, but you can spare a fiver, can't you? Tell 'em Vicious Imagery sent you.

"20% better than anything you have ever read. Ever"

The following letter was allegedly sent out by a would-be author in America. I'd say it was an April Fool, but the letter went viral several days ago. Perhaps it's a spoof to show how delusional wannabes can be [or pre-published authors, as some call themselves]. Maybe it's even genuine. Whatever the truth, enjoy the madness that follows...

Dear [Agent / Editor]

Prepare to be blown away. In your hands you hold the first four pages of my debut epic, VIOLET THUNDER. You have the truly unique opportunity to be one of the first to read a work that will undoubtedly revolutionize the publishing world. Borrowing tropes from the epic fantasy, supernatural detective, and harlequin romance genres, I have crafted the first wholly original masterpiece in probably at least a century.

I know quality writing, and know a lot of other people who know quality writing. A sample chapter presented to my mother’s book club was described as, and I quote, “like nothing they had ever read before”. My high school English teacher told me that I should submit it right away, even though I only shared the first half of the first draft.

Now, I understand that conventionally you are expecting to see the first five pages. I haven’t done that. Instead I am sending the first FOUR, so convinced am I that what you hold in your (no doubt trembling) hands is 20% better than anything you have ever read. Ever. Now, I am intimately familiar with everything you publish, but to avoid embarrassing any of your other authors I will not name names. Suffice it to say that when you finish VIOLET THUNDER it is very likely that you will forget them, and will likely shit joy and barf rainbows.

My story follows the adventurous life of Sir Reginald Garret Von White Castle, a 900 year old katana wielding swordfighter from Prussia who, despite his great age and staggering accomplishments chooses to associate with and speak exactly like a modern day high school kid. From the opening line “I always knew that, in teh end, I would be fucked by unicorns and glitter” to the mind blowing dénouement, Reginald leads you through a clandestine world of classic and completely new supernatural creatures who have all chosen to masquerade as high schoolers in a typical Midwest town with no defining features or characteristics. This is so a reader could easily imagine him- or herself there (VIOLET THUNDER will appeal to both genders, and anyone who is or ever has gone through a trying transition to adulthood).

VIOLET THUNDER begins when Reggie’s best friend Bob is kidnapped from the high school shower after third period gym. Bob is a figmentationist, a person who can make anything happen that he imagines, except that it is never useful or impactful, and generally only functions when it is convenient for me, the author, to have it do so. Obviously Reggie isn’t going to stand for this, so he sets upon a journey of discovery, where he confronts glowing magic vampires, a succubae sponsored lesbian biker gang, mean cheerleaders, the sexually repressed high school councilor who is also a troll, and many other things so shocking that you need to read them in context to avoid some sort of brain hemorrhage. In all instances Reggie starts with banter, but ends with a drawn katana and a decapitated foe. He is also a police detective.

Through twists and turns literally nobody has seen coming, Reggie ends up in a final confrontation atop an incongruous Midwest skyscraper facing down his ex-girlfriend who now rides a magic unicorn who poops glitter and controls zombies. I will not spoil the end for you, but suffice it to say that when they do it, it is totally hot. You will be amazed when you finally discover the totally hidden meaning of Reggie’s VIOLET THUNDER.

Please respond promptly, as I have simultaneously sent this to literally everyone in the publishing industry that I could find on the internet. If you do not happen to be the first person to snap up the rights to VIOLET THUNDER and all future sequels, I apologize. Judging by what I think authors make, this series should totally be worth at least a million dollars.

Thank you.

[Author’s Name Redacted]