The freelance lifestyle has many advantages over being an office drone. You can choose your own hours. Don't feel like working? Take the day off. Want to take an extra long lunch? Go right ahead. Your only boss is you, so there's a limited amount of kowtowing involved, and if the boss is being an arse, well, there's nobody to blame but yourself. The self employed pay less tax, because you can deduct many of your expenses from your gross income before having to pay any tax. But you'll often earn less, because you have to pay your own expenses. There's no such thing as paid holiday leave, no paid sick leave and maintaining office hours can be difficult. It's all too easy to allow work to seep outwards so it consumes every waking hour, if you're not careful. The office Christmas party can be a rather lonely affair, and you've heard the speeches before.
Normally, I indulge in hobbies designed to get me out of the house when I'm not working. They're good for maintaining social contacts [and social skills], keep you from retreating into full hermit mode. Last summer I played for the Biggar Cricket Club. Not very well, mind you, but it was some exercise. Outside. In the sunshine. That's three things a lot of writers never encounter in the same paragraph, let alone their lives. I also enjoy amateur dramatics - acting, directing, producing, singing, dancing, etc. But I've put cricket and theatre on hold for the first six months of this year, so I can get the most out of my writing.
As a result, I'm making genuine progress on the TV pilot I'm writing under the aegis of the mentoring project run by the Scottish Book Trust's words@work scheme. My screenwriting MA is gathering pace as it builds toward the final project and graduation. I've been working for several new clients on paying jobs and pursuing other opportunities that don't pay yet, but might one day. By tightening my focus to writing, networking and learning more about the craft of writing, I'm inching ever closer to my goal of making a living as a broadcast drama writer.
On the downside, I'm often unsure what day of the week it is. It used to be play rehearsals that provided my anchor points for the week, Mondays and Thursdays I was always in the theatre. Without that, I'm tending to lose track of where in the week I am. This can cause problems. In the town where I live, the post office closes at lunchtime on a Wednesday. All too often I'll wander down to post a package, only to discover it's Wednesday and I simply hadn't noticed.
Another downside is the need to write consumes all known time and space. For example, I've got complimentary tickets to attend a special concert at the Royal Albert Hall in London tonight - but I can't go. Too busy, too many deadlines. Classic FM and ITV3 are presenting The Music of Morse, featuring the wonderful bass Sir Willard White alongside Lesley Garret and Alfie Boe. As an acknowledged Inspector Morse geek, I wrote programme notes for the event, which is being filmed for broadcast next weekend. I'd love to have gone, but can't spare the two working days it would take me to get there and back again. Arse.
If you want to succeed in your chosen field of endeavour, you need several attributes. Talent is essential. An ability to learn, absorb and improve your grasp of the relevant craft and skills. A little bit of luck doesn't hurt. But perhaps most important of all, you need persistence. You must be willing to make sacrifices, give up time, money, large parts of your social life, chances to be with your family. You've got to be able to take every rejection and defeat that comes, get up off the matt and try again. You will fail far more than you will ever succeed, you will lose out to others far more often than you will win. Those who get disheartened and give up are forfeiting the chance to succeed. To borrow a line from The Hours' track Ali in the Jungle: Everybody gets knocked down. How quick are you gonna get up?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Sopranos episode guide #16: Toodle-Fucking-Oo
US Transmission Date: 30 January 2000
UK Transmission Date: 26 October 2000
Writer: Frank Renzulli • Director: Lee Tamahori
Cast: Michele De Cesare (Hunter Scangarello), Diana Agostini (Miriam), Getchie Argetsinger (Yoga Instructor), Leslie Beatty (Nancy), Ed Crasnick (Comedian), Catrina Ganey (Nurse), Marc Freeman Hamm (Party Goer), Linda Mann (Joint Copper), Joe Pacheo (Policeman), Charles Sammarco (Joey), Antonette Schwartzberg (Beansie’s Mother), Mike ‘Scuch’ Quicciarini (Big Frank), Deirdre Sullivan (Hospital Patient), Craig Wojcik (Pizza Kid)
Storyline: Tony goes to his mother’s vacant home late at night, after a tip-off from a cop. The house has been used as the venue for a teenage party and the police were called. One youth is taken away by ambulance after overdosing on drugs while another is under arrest. Tony finds Meadow inside, looking drunk and sorry for herself. He takes his daughter home and she stumbles off to bed. Adriana gives a lift to her uncle, Richie Aprile, who has just been released after ten years in prison. He is the brother old of acting boss Jackie Aprile, who died of cancer. Richie wants to visit his old neighbourhood. In bed Carmela and Tony discuss how they can punish Meadow for what happened. They both feel powerless.
Richie confronts Beansie Gaeta, who owns three pizza parlours. Beansie used to deal heroin for Richie, but he refuses to be intimidated. Richie smashes a glass coffee jug in Beansie’s face, smashes a chair over his back and savagely beats him. Next morning Carmela and Tony berate Meadow for the party. Janice says they should ignore her transgression. Meadow denies any blame and volunteers to surrender her credit card for two weeks. Tony says three weeks. Meadow walks away, smiling to herself. Richie and Tony meet outside Satriale’s Pork Store. Christopher arrives and gets a warning from Richie about hitting Adriana. Richie tries to talk business with Tony, who just walks away. Silvio explains that Tony has to be very careful about where he talks business, due to Government surveillance.
Dr Melfi has dinner with two friends. As they leave the restaurant, she bumps into Tony and his crew having dinner. They exchange small talk and Melfi says ‘Toodle-oo’ as she leaves. At a therapy session with Dr Elliot Kupferberg, Melfi wonders why she said ‘Toodle-oo’ to Tony. She concludes that she regressed into the speech of a girl to escape responsibility for abandoning a patient. Richie and Janice meet each other at a yoga class. Tony and Richie meet to talk business at a mall. Tony asks Richie to back off Beansie, whose pizza parlours earn good money as cash businesses. Meadow is furious when she sees what Meadow’s friends did to Livia’s house. She has a blazing row with Tony and Carmela about how they punished Meadow. Tony storms out and Carmela tells Janice to mind her own business. All this is overheard by Meadow.
Junior meets Richie at Dr Schreck’s office. Richie pledges his loyalty to Junior – whatever, whoever. Tony and his crew have a party for Richie at the Bada Bing. Afterwards Richie hunts down Beansie and tries to shoot him, but Beansie escapes. Carmela and Janice apologise to each other. Richie smashes his car into Beansie, backs up, runs over him again and then reverses over Beansie’s twitching body. Next day Richie takes some flowers to Livia at the rehabilitation unit. He is really there to see Janice – 20 years before they were lovers. They have a drink in the hospital cafeteria and Richie asks Janice out to dinner. Dr Melfi has a dream about Tony passing out and crashing his car.
Tony visits Beansie in hospital. The doctors says he may never walk again, but Beansie pledges not to rat on Richie. Richie and Tony meet at the mall again. Tony is furious about Richie crippling Beansie and warns him to start listening to orders – or else. Tony goes to Livia’s house so a locksmith can change all the locks. Inside he sees Meadow cleaning up vomit from the party.
Mobspeak: Richie talks about wrapping up a dime (finishing ten years in prison). Beansie says he moved a lot of ‘H’ (heroin) for Richie.
Mamma Mia: Livia complains about being shifted out of a private room at the hospital. She says Janice changed name to Parvati just to shame her mother. Richie tries to job Livia’s memory by saying she used to yell at him for beeping his car horn. Livia’s reply is short and sour: ‘Pimps beep.’ For good measure Livia announces that she wishes the Lord would take her.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Beansie orders a free veal parmigiana sandwich for Richie who beats him senseless, breaking Beansie’s cheekbone. When Meadow comes down to breakfast she pours a bowl of Cheerios but leaves the kitchen before eating them. Melfi recommends the veal when she meets Tony and his crew at a restaurant. They are eating pasta. At the mall Richie bitches about a kid spilling fried rice all over him. Meadow and Hunter Scangarello make themselves French toast and hot chocolate at the Soprano’s house, trying the kitchen into a pigsty. The Sopranos have sandwiches and cold meat for lunch.
Mobbed Up: Tony compares Meadow to the ‘Bride of Frankenstein’. Tony asks Beansie if he can pick up the BBC on the elaborate metal harness holding his broken body in traction.
How Do You Feel, Doctor?: Dr Melfi feels so embarrassed that she said ‘Toodle-oo’ to Tony she can’t sleep all night. She says she never talks to patients that way. She believes it was a way of hiding from a patient she never wanted to see again. She thinks she regressed into the persona of a girl to escape responsibility for abandoning a patient.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Melfi has a dream in which Tony drives through pouring rain. He becomes groggy and reaches for a bottle of Prozac, but it’s empty. In the background music from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ plays. He passes out and crashes head-on into a large lorry. Dr Melfi dreams of herself driving by the accident. Tony is lying on the front on his car, having smashed through the windscreen. His face is bloody and the empty bottle of Prozac is lying beside his head. When Melfi wakes up, she makes brief notes about her dream which describe Tony as Patient S.
Quote/Unquote: Tony warns Carmela not to over-play her hand when punishing Meadow: ‘If she finds out we’re powerless, we’re fucked.’ Tony decides to clear the air with his sister: ‘You come riding into town like some Vishnu-come-lately and try to play the concerned daughter, who the fuck are you kidding?!’ Junior complains about house arrest: ‘Federal Marshalls are so far up my ass, I can taste Brylcreem.’ Tony helps Beansie blow his nose, but the badly injured pizza parlour owner worries he may never be able to wipe his own ass again. ‘Your nose is as far as I’m willing to go,’ Tony replies.
Soundtrack: ‘Holla Holla’ by Ja Rule. ‘Never Miss The Water’ by Chaka Khan. ‘No Scrubs’ by TLC. ‘You’re Out of the Woods/Optimistic Voices’ from the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. ‘I’ll Never Fall In Love Again’ by Dionne Warwick. ‘Viking’ by Los Lobos. 'Lily Maebelle' by The Valentines. 'Prince of Peace' by Pharoah Sanders. 'Theme from Turnpike' by Deus.
Surveillance Report: Pussy says that Dr Melfi has nice, pipe-fitter lips which could give world-class blow jobs. Richie tells Christopher he can hit Adriana all he wants when they get married, but not before. Janice changed her name to Parvati Wasatch in 1978. She has a son called Harpo, but he changed his name to Hal. He lives in Montreal with his father, Eugene. Janice has petitioned the State Department for custody but believes she is on their enemy radicals list. Richie Aprile is played by David Proval, who previously appeared in ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and Martin Scorcese’s ‘Mean Streets’. Melfi’s psychiatrist, Dr Elliot Kupferberg, is played by Peter Bogdanovich, a well known film director whose credits include ‘The Last Picture Show’. This episode features the sole Season Two appearance of Hunter Scangarello, played by David Chase’s daughter, Michele De Cesare. This episode is directed by New Zealand helmer Lee Tamahori, best known for directing the award-winning ‘Once Were Warriors’.
The Verdict: ‘You and I weren’t good for each other twenty years ago. What makes you think it’s gonna be different now?’ Old school mobster Richie Aprile gets out of jail after a decade and immediately starts causing agita for Tony. He also makes a move on his former lover, Janice Soprano. This episode puts the last piece in place for Season Two with the arrival of Richie. With Junior sidelined by house arrest, Richie takes over his role as chief irritant for Tony in the Family. Janice has already usurped Livia as Tony’s major irritant within the family. The combination of these two highly volatile individuals will produce most of the conflict in the coming episodes. Even Dr Melfi makes a comeback. Previously Tony was talking to her in therapy, now it’s Melfi in therapy talking about Tony. After a couple of mediocre episodes, Season Two is now firing on all cylinders…
UK Transmission Date: 26 October 2000
Writer: Frank Renzulli • Director: Lee Tamahori
Cast: Michele De Cesare (Hunter Scangarello), Diana Agostini (Miriam), Getchie Argetsinger (Yoga Instructor), Leslie Beatty (Nancy), Ed Crasnick (Comedian), Catrina Ganey (Nurse), Marc Freeman Hamm (Party Goer), Linda Mann (Joint Copper), Joe Pacheo (Policeman), Charles Sammarco (Joey), Antonette Schwartzberg (Beansie’s Mother), Mike ‘Scuch’ Quicciarini (Big Frank), Deirdre Sullivan (Hospital Patient), Craig Wojcik (Pizza Kid)
Storyline: Tony goes to his mother’s vacant home late at night, after a tip-off from a cop. The house has been used as the venue for a teenage party and the police were called. One youth is taken away by ambulance after overdosing on drugs while another is under arrest. Tony finds Meadow inside, looking drunk and sorry for herself. He takes his daughter home and she stumbles off to bed. Adriana gives a lift to her uncle, Richie Aprile, who has just been released after ten years in prison. He is the brother old of acting boss Jackie Aprile, who died of cancer. Richie wants to visit his old neighbourhood. In bed Carmela and Tony discuss how they can punish Meadow for what happened. They both feel powerless.
Richie confronts Beansie Gaeta, who owns three pizza parlours. Beansie used to deal heroin for Richie, but he refuses to be intimidated. Richie smashes a glass coffee jug in Beansie’s face, smashes a chair over his back and savagely beats him. Next morning Carmela and Tony berate Meadow for the party. Janice says they should ignore her transgression. Meadow denies any blame and volunteers to surrender her credit card for two weeks. Tony says three weeks. Meadow walks away, smiling to herself. Richie and Tony meet outside Satriale’s Pork Store. Christopher arrives and gets a warning from Richie about hitting Adriana. Richie tries to talk business with Tony, who just walks away. Silvio explains that Tony has to be very careful about where he talks business, due to Government surveillance.
Dr Melfi has dinner with two friends. As they leave the restaurant, she bumps into Tony and his crew having dinner. They exchange small talk and Melfi says ‘Toodle-oo’ as she leaves. At a therapy session with Dr Elliot Kupferberg, Melfi wonders why she said ‘Toodle-oo’ to Tony. She concludes that she regressed into the speech of a girl to escape responsibility for abandoning a patient. Richie and Janice meet each other at a yoga class. Tony and Richie meet to talk business at a mall. Tony asks Richie to back off Beansie, whose pizza parlours earn good money as cash businesses. Meadow is furious when she sees what Meadow’s friends did to Livia’s house. She has a blazing row with Tony and Carmela about how they punished Meadow. Tony storms out and Carmela tells Janice to mind her own business. All this is overheard by Meadow.
Junior meets Richie at Dr Schreck’s office. Richie pledges his loyalty to Junior – whatever, whoever. Tony and his crew have a party for Richie at the Bada Bing. Afterwards Richie hunts down Beansie and tries to shoot him, but Beansie escapes. Carmela and Janice apologise to each other. Richie smashes his car into Beansie, backs up, runs over him again and then reverses over Beansie’s twitching body. Next day Richie takes some flowers to Livia at the rehabilitation unit. He is really there to see Janice – 20 years before they were lovers. They have a drink in the hospital cafeteria and Richie asks Janice out to dinner. Dr Melfi has a dream about Tony passing out and crashing his car.
Tony visits Beansie in hospital. The doctors says he may never walk again, but Beansie pledges not to rat on Richie. Richie and Tony meet at the mall again. Tony is furious about Richie crippling Beansie and warns him to start listening to orders – or else. Tony goes to Livia’s house so a locksmith can change all the locks. Inside he sees Meadow cleaning up vomit from the party.
Mobspeak: Richie talks about wrapping up a dime (finishing ten years in prison). Beansie says he moved a lot of ‘H’ (heroin) for Richie.
Mamma Mia: Livia complains about being shifted out of a private room at the hospital. She says Janice changed name to Parvati just to shame her mother. Richie tries to job Livia’s memory by saying she used to yell at him for beeping his car horn. Livia’s reply is short and sour: ‘Pimps beep.’ For good measure Livia announces that she wishes the Lord would take her.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Beansie orders a free veal parmigiana sandwich for Richie who beats him senseless, breaking Beansie’s cheekbone. When Meadow comes down to breakfast she pours a bowl of Cheerios but leaves the kitchen before eating them. Melfi recommends the veal when she meets Tony and his crew at a restaurant. They are eating pasta. At the mall Richie bitches about a kid spilling fried rice all over him. Meadow and Hunter Scangarello make themselves French toast and hot chocolate at the Soprano’s house, trying the kitchen into a pigsty. The Sopranos have sandwiches and cold meat for lunch.
Mobbed Up: Tony compares Meadow to the ‘Bride of Frankenstein’. Tony asks Beansie if he can pick up the BBC on the elaborate metal harness holding his broken body in traction.
How Do You Feel, Doctor?: Dr Melfi feels so embarrassed that she said ‘Toodle-oo’ to Tony she can’t sleep all night. She says she never talks to patients that way. She believes it was a way of hiding from a patient she never wanted to see again. She thinks she regressed into the persona of a girl to escape responsibility for abandoning a patient.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Melfi has a dream in which Tony drives through pouring rain. He becomes groggy and reaches for a bottle of Prozac, but it’s empty. In the background music from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ plays. He passes out and crashes head-on into a large lorry. Dr Melfi dreams of herself driving by the accident. Tony is lying on the front on his car, having smashed through the windscreen. His face is bloody and the empty bottle of Prozac is lying beside his head. When Melfi wakes up, she makes brief notes about her dream which describe Tony as Patient S.
Quote/Unquote: Tony warns Carmela not to over-play her hand when punishing Meadow: ‘If she finds out we’re powerless, we’re fucked.’ Tony decides to clear the air with his sister: ‘You come riding into town like some Vishnu-come-lately and try to play the concerned daughter, who the fuck are you kidding?!’ Junior complains about house arrest: ‘Federal Marshalls are so far up my ass, I can taste Brylcreem.’ Tony helps Beansie blow his nose, but the badly injured pizza parlour owner worries he may never be able to wipe his own ass again. ‘Your nose is as far as I’m willing to go,’ Tony replies.
Soundtrack: ‘Holla Holla’ by Ja Rule. ‘Never Miss The Water’ by Chaka Khan. ‘No Scrubs’ by TLC. ‘You’re Out of the Woods/Optimistic Voices’ from the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. ‘I’ll Never Fall In Love Again’ by Dionne Warwick. ‘Viking’ by Los Lobos. 'Lily Maebelle' by The Valentines. 'Prince of Peace' by Pharoah Sanders. 'Theme from Turnpike' by Deus.
Surveillance Report: Pussy says that Dr Melfi has nice, pipe-fitter lips which could give world-class blow jobs. Richie tells Christopher he can hit Adriana all he wants when they get married, but not before. Janice changed her name to Parvati Wasatch in 1978. She has a son called Harpo, but he changed his name to Hal. He lives in Montreal with his father, Eugene. Janice has petitioned the State Department for custody but believes she is on their enemy radicals list. Richie Aprile is played by David Proval, who previously appeared in ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ and Martin Scorcese’s ‘Mean Streets’. Melfi’s psychiatrist, Dr Elliot Kupferberg, is played by Peter Bogdanovich, a well known film director whose credits include ‘The Last Picture Show’. This episode features the sole Season Two appearance of Hunter Scangarello, played by David Chase’s daughter, Michele De Cesare. This episode is directed by New Zealand helmer Lee Tamahori, best known for directing the award-winning ‘Once Were Warriors’.
The Verdict: ‘You and I weren’t good for each other twenty years ago. What makes you think it’s gonna be different now?’ Old school mobster Richie Aprile gets out of jail after a decade and immediately starts causing agita for Tony. He also makes a move on his former lover, Janice Soprano. This episode puts the last piece in place for Season Two with the arrival of Richie. With Junior sidelined by house arrest, Richie takes over his role as chief irritant for Tony in the Family. Janice has already usurped Livia as Tony’s major irritant within the family. The combination of these two highly volatile individuals will produce most of the conflict in the coming episodes. Even Dr Melfi makes a comeback. Previously Tony was talking to her in therapy, now it’s Melfi in therapy talking about Tony. After a couple of mediocre episodes, Season Two is now firing on all cylinders…
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Piss-Take on Me [no, not like that, you sickos]
Okay, so everybody remembers the distinctive video for A-Ha's catchy 80s single Take On Me, right? If not, click below and remind yourself.
Now, here's a droll homage from US cartoon sitcom Family Guy.
Now here's a brilliant 2000 AD version by Judge Dredd artist Adrian Bamforth, featuirng Mean Machine and Judge Death. Aces!
Now, here's a droll homage from US cartoon sitcom Family Guy.
Now here's a brilliant 2000 AD version by Judge Dredd artist Adrian Bamforth, featuirng Mean Machine and Judge Death. Aces!
Sopranos episode guide #15: Do Not Resuscitate
US Transmission Date: 23 January 2000
UK Transmission Date: 19 October 2000
Writer: Robin Green & Mitchell Burgess and Frank Renzulli • Director: Martin Bruestle
Cast: Bill Cobbs (Reverend James, Snr), Gregalan Williams (Reverend James, Jr), Robert Desiderio (Jack Massarone), Michael Broughton (Protester), James Collins (truck Driver), Katherine Dent (Arlene Riley), Elizabeth Flax (Therapist), Sam Gray (Judge Greenspan), Timothy Huang (Doctor), Tertia Lynch (Duty Nurse), John Mariano (Ralph Giorgio), Tony Rigo (Old Guy), Laurine Towler (Surgical Nurse), Kellie Turner (Nurse’s Aide), Beatrice Winde (Funeral Guest)
Storyline: Tony visits his uncle in prison. Junior wants Tony to make peace with Livia, to kill off rumours about recent events between them. Tony refuses and demands a meeting with Bobby ‘Bacala’ Baccalieri, Junior’s representative outside the prison. Black protestors are staging a picket line protest outside a Masserone Brothers’ construction site, preventing further work. The protest is led by Reverend James Jr, aided by his father. The picket line is about the lack of black jointfitters working on the job.
Tony argues with Janice about plans to sell Livia’s house. Janice wants a friend of hers to act as estate agent for a cut-price commission. Janice visits her mother at a hospital rehabilitation unit. Livia belittles her daughter. Tony meets with Jack Massarone, who wants him to intervene against the picket line. The jointfitters’ union is under Junior’s jurisdiction, but Tony agrees to intervene. He has assisted Massarone before getting work contracts.
Bacala meets with Tony and his crew at Satriale’s Pork Store. Tony says Junior can continue to earn, but only enough to pay for his defence lawyers. Tony is taking over many of Junior’s interests. Pussy gets a steroid injection to help his back. He is driven home by Skip Lipari, a law enforcement agent. Pussy has been an informant for two years. He lies about not having met with Tony yet since returning from Puerto Rico. Skip says Jimmy Altieri’s death means nobody still suspects Pussy is a rat, but Pussy is not so sure.
Junior appears before a judge, who grants him bail on medical grounds. However Junior is placed under house arrest and made to wear an electronic bracelet at all times, to avoid risk of flight. Tony goes to Reverend James Jr’s home, but he’s out. Tony shares a soft drink and talks with Reverend James Snr before leaving. Junior and Tony meet in a doctor’s office – federal law prohibits the use of listening devices in such places. Junior says the owner of Green Grove retirement community is spreading rumours about Soprano business. At a family dinner AJ says he has to write a report about DNA for school. Tony agrees to give Janice’s friend the real estate listing on Livia’s house. Frederick Capuano goes missing. The police find his car with the job open and the keys inside. Capuano’s hairpiece lies on the road behind the car. Meadow practises her driving by taking Janice to buy marijuana in Livia’s car. Janice quizzes her niece about Livia’s hobbies. Meadow suggests music by the De Castro sisters or Mario Lanza.
Junior goes to an optometrist, accompanied by Bacala. Jack Massarone passes through the waiting room, leaving behind an envelope of cash that Bacala picks up for Junior. Janice takes Livia flowers and a recording of Italian tenor Luciano Pavarotti. Mother and daughter share a happy moment. Tony and Bacala have a covert meeting. Tony says the picket line will be broken up the next morning. At dinner Carmela announces that Meadow passed her driving test. After dinner, Tony and Janice discuss their mother outside.
Livia will soon be fit enough to leave the rehab unit, but she needs a place to stay. Tony refuses to have Livia move back into her own home. He suggests she go back to Green Grove, but Janice can’t afford the fees. Tony and Pussy go to watch the picket line be smashed. Tony drives off when wannabe mobsters Matt and Sean try to approach him. Christopher leads the team of heavies who attack the protestors.
Janice visits Livia and suggests they move into Livia’s house together. But her mother wants to go back to Green Grove and has a coughing fit when Janice contradicts her. Afterwards a nurse approaches Janice, asking if the Sopranos are willing to sign a Do Not Resuscitate form for Livia. Janice and Tony argue about the DNR form, which Tony eventually agrees to sign. AJ overhears their conversation. Meadow drives AJ to visit Livia.
He asks his grandmother about her DNR form, whether it has anything to do with DNA. The next day Janice visits Livia while she is having physical therapy. Livia lets her daughter she knows about the DNR then hints she has money hidden somewhere but has forgotten its location. Junior falls in the shower and hurts his pelvis. Tony visits Reverend James Jr at home, where guests are leaving a wake for the late Reverend James Snr. Tony gives James his cut of the Masserone payoff – the clergyman was part of the scam from the start. Tony and Bacala take the injured Junior to hospital.
Mobspeak: Tony tells Bacala that Junior can keep his stripes (the title of boss). He will let Junior keep on earning (making money for the Family). Skip Lipari tells Pussy that Jimmy Altieri at the pill (died) for him. Junior’s lawyer objects to his client being characterised as a Mafioso (member of the Mafia). Junior claims Livia did not know she was setting up Tony to be popped (murdered).
Mamma Mia: In hospital Livia refuses to eat tapioca but tries to give it to Janice. She complains about the bruise on her hand from the intravenous needle. Livia says Janice could never stand herself and that’s why she ran away. Livia asks a nurse to open a window and push her out of it. The old woman then says Janice is only there because her daughter wants to take Livia’s house. Finally, she breaks down sobbing: ‘I gave my life to my children on a silver platter.’ Several days later Livia and Janice actually bond for a while when Janice brings her mother fresh flowers and Italian classical music. Janice tries to persuade Livia to move back home but the contrary old crone now wants to go back to Green Grove. She says its not that bad and they give you fresh towels every day. When Janice raises objections, Livia has a coughing fit. AJ tells his grandmother about Janice trying to get Tony to sign the DNR form. Livia tells Janice what she knows, then hints about having money but forgetting where it is. The implication is clear – if Janice wants the money, she’ll have to keep Livia alive to get it. Livia phones Carmela to say she will leave all her money to her grandchildren. She tries to seek help about Janice but Carmela hangs up.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Livia picks at lunch in hospital but refuses to eat tapioca, requesting strawberry ice cream instead. Tony describes the obese Bacala as a Calzone with legs and later suggests he start eating more salads. At dinner the Sopranos have salad, meat and macaroni with cheese. At a subsequent dinner they have sausages and rice with salad. Tony jokes about Janice being a vegetarian. Livia nearly chokes on a cookie. When Tony and Janice argue about Livia’s DNR form, AJ is scooping ice cream into a bowl. Livia gives him an Italian candy when he visits her later. She watches a cooking show featuring Louisiana cuisine.
Mobbed Up: Tony says Janice and Livia deserve it each other. He says them living together would be like the film ‘Whatever Happened To Baby Jane’.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Frederick Capuano, who disappears after Junior tells Tony that the director of geriatric services at Green Grove has been spreading rumours about Soprano business. No body is found but the police discover Capuano’s car and hairpiece abandoned on a roadside.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Janice sees a hospital sign warning about the dangers of rushing down stairs in case of a fire. She fantasises about pushing Livia down stairs and Livia’s head appears on the body in the warning sign.
Quote/Unquote: Bacala gets philosophical about the victor always getting the spoils, but Tony dismisses him. ‘Why don’t you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fucking ass!’ Reverend James Snr objects to talk about shit and the Bible. ‘Only shit in the Bible came out of Pharaoh’s ass when Moses parted the Red Sea.’ Janice asks Meadow what Livia is into. ‘I don’t know, negativity?’
Soundtrack: ‘Non Ti Scordar Di Me’ by Lucianno Pavarotti. ‘Mother And Child Reunion’ by Paul Simon. ‘Goodnight My Love’ Benny Goodman with Ella Fitzgerald.
Surveillance Report: Janice is pitching a self-help video concept called ‘Lady Kerouac’, about packing for the highway to a woman’s self-esteem. As a child she sold her ballet shoes to get money for amphetamines. Prior to his recent bust, Junior hadn’t been arrested since 1968. He pays his taxes and was a veteran of World War II.
The Verdict: ‘She’s still around, she’s too miserable to die.’ Janice schemes to get herself into Livia’s house and ponders matricide. Junior gets out of jail on a medical but Tony is now fully in control of the Family. The return of Junior from prison helps kick-start this season, as does the sparring between Janice and Livia. However, Tony’s problems with passing out have magically gone this episode and Dr Melfi doesn’t even get a mention. The absence of Tony’s therapy sessions leaves a hole in the fabric of the series. This episode is an improvement on the season opener, with Janice revealing herself as a real chip off the block of her mother. The best moment is when Tony and Reverend James Jr discuss the passing of the older generation. Soon they will be the elders…
UK Transmission Date: 19 October 2000
Writer: Robin Green & Mitchell Burgess and Frank Renzulli • Director: Martin Bruestle
Cast: Bill Cobbs (Reverend James, Snr), Gregalan Williams (Reverend James, Jr), Robert Desiderio (Jack Massarone), Michael Broughton (Protester), James Collins (truck Driver), Katherine Dent (Arlene Riley), Elizabeth Flax (Therapist), Sam Gray (Judge Greenspan), Timothy Huang (Doctor), Tertia Lynch (Duty Nurse), John Mariano (Ralph Giorgio), Tony Rigo (Old Guy), Laurine Towler (Surgical Nurse), Kellie Turner (Nurse’s Aide), Beatrice Winde (Funeral Guest)
Storyline: Tony visits his uncle in prison. Junior wants Tony to make peace with Livia, to kill off rumours about recent events between them. Tony refuses and demands a meeting with Bobby ‘Bacala’ Baccalieri, Junior’s representative outside the prison. Black protestors are staging a picket line protest outside a Masserone Brothers’ construction site, preventing further work. The protest is led by Reverend James Jr, aided by his father. The picket line is about the lack of black jointfitters working on the job.
Tony argues with Janice about plans to sell Livia’s house. Janice wants a friend of hers to act as estate agent for a cut-price commission. Janice visits her mother at a hospital rehabilitation unit. Livia belittles her daughter. Tony meets with Jack Massarone, who wants him to intervene against the picket line. The jointfitters’ union is under Junior’s jurisdiction, but Tony agrees to intervene. He has assisted Massarone before getting work contracts.
Bacala meets with Tony and his crew at Satriale’s Pork Store. Tony says Junior can continue to earn, but only enough to pay for his defence lawyers. Tony is taking over many of Junior’s interests. Pussy gets a steroid injection to help his back. He is driven home by Skip Lipari, a law enforcement agent. Pussy has been an informant for two years. He lies about not having met with Tony yet since returning from Puerto Rico. Skip says Jimmy Altieri’s death means nobody still suspects Pussy is a rat, but Pussy is not so sure.
Junior appears before a judge, who grants him bail on medical grounds. However Junior is placed under house arrest and made to wear an electronic bracelet at all times, to avoid risk of flight. Tony goes to Reverend James Jr’s home, but he’s out. Tony shares a soft drink and talks with Reverend James Snr before leaving. Junior and Tony meet in a doctor’s office – federal law prohibits the use of listening devices in such places. Junior says the owner of Green Grove retirement community is spreading rumours about Soprano business. At a family dinner AJ says he has to write a report about DNA for school. Tony agrees to give Janice’s friend the real estate listing on Livia’s house. Frederick Capuano goes missing. The police find his car with the job open and the keys inside. Capuano’s hairpiece lies on the road behind the car. Meadow practises her driving by taking Janice to buy marijuana in Livia’s car. Janice quizzes her niece about Livia’s hobbies. Meadow suggests music by the De Castro sisters or Mario Lanza.
Junior goes to an optometrist, accompanied by Bacala. Jack Massarone passes through the waiting room, leaving behind an envelope of cash that Bacala picks up for Junior. Janice takes Livia flowers and a recording of Italian tenor Luciano Pavarotti. Mother and daughter share a happy moment. Tony and Bacala have a covert meeting. Tony says the picket line will be broken up the next morning. At dinner Carmela announces that Meadow passed her driving test. After dinner, Tony and Janice discuss their mother outside.
Livia will soon be fit enough to leave the rehab unit, but she needs a place to stay. Tony refuses to have Livia move back into her own home. He suggests she go back to Green Grove, but Janice can’t afford the fees. Tony and Pussy go to watch the picket line be smashed. Tony drives off when wannabe mobsters Matt and Sean try to approach him. Christopher leads the team of heavies who attack the protestors.
Janice visits Livia and suggests they move into Livia’s house together. But her mother wants to go back to Green Grove and has a coughing fit when Janice contradicts her. Afterwards a nurse approaches Janice, asking if the Sopranos are willing to sign a Do Not Resuscitate form for Livia. Janice and Tony argue about the DNR form, which Tony eventually agrees to sign. AJ overhears their conversation. Meadow drives AJ to visit Livia.
He asks his grandmother about her DNR form, whether it has anything to do with DNA. The next day Janice visits Livia while she is having physical therapy. Livia lets her daughter she knows about the DNR then hints she has money hidden somewhere but has forgotten its location. Junior falls in the shower and hurts his pelvis. Tony visits Reverend James Jr at home, where guests are leaving a wake for the late Reverend James Snr. Tony gives James his cut of the Masserone payoff – the clergyman was part of the scam from the start. Tony and Bacala take the injured Junior to hospital.
Mobspeak: Tony tells Bacala that Junior can keep his stripes (the title of boss). He will let Junior keep on earning (making money for the Family). Skip Lipari tells Pussy that Jimmy Altieri at the pill (died) for him. Junior’s lawyer objects to his client being characterised as a Mafioso (member of the Mafia). Junior claims Livia did not know she was setting up Tony to be popped (murdered).
Mamma Mia: In hospital Livia refuses to eat tapioca but tries to give it to Janice. She complains about the bruise on her hand from the intravenous needle. Livia says Janice could never stand herself and that’s why she ran away. Livia asks a nurse to open a window and push her out of it. The old woman then says Janice is only there because her daughter wants to take Livia’s house. Finally, she breaks down sobbing: ‘I gave my life to my children on a silver platter.’ Several days later Livia and Janice actually bond for a while when Janice brings her mother fresh flowers and Italian classical music. Janice tries to persuade Livia to move back home but the contrary old crone now wants to go back to Green Grove. She says its not that bad and they give you fresh towels every day. When Janice raises objections, Livia has a coughing fit. AJ tells his grandmother about Janice trying to get Tony to sign the DNR form. Livia tells Janice what she knows, then hints about having money but forgetting where it is. The implication is clear – if Janice wants the money, she’ll have to keep Livia alive to get it. Livia phones Carmela to say she will leave all her money to her grandchildren. She tries to seek help about Janice but Carmela hangs up.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Livia picks at lunch in hospital but refuses to eat tapioca, requesting strawberry ice cream instead. Tony describes the obese Bacala as a Calzone with legs and later suggests he start eating more salads. At dinner the Sopranos have salad, meat and macaroni with cheese. At a subsequent dinner they have sausages and rice with salad. Tony jokes about Janice being a vegetarian. Livia nearly chokes on a cookie. When Tony and Janice argue about Livia’s DNR form, AJ is scooping ice cream into a bowl. Livia gives him an Italian candy when he visits her later. She watches a cooking show featuring Louisiana cuisine.
Mobbed Up: Tony says Janice and Livia deserve it each other. He says them living together would be like the film ‘Whatever Happened To Baby Jane’.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Frederick Capuano, who disappears after Junior tells Tony that the director of geriatric services at Green Grove has been spreading rumours about Soprano business. No body is found but the police discover Capuano’s car and hairpiece abandoned on a roadside.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Janice sees a hospital sign warning about the dangers of rushing down stairs in case of a fire. She fantasises about pushing Livia down stairs and Livia’s head appears on the body in the warning sign.
Quote/Unquote: Bacala gets philosophical about the victor always getting the spoils, but Tony dismisses him. ‘Why don’t you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fucking ass!’ Reverend James Snr objects to talk about shit and the Bible. ‘Only shit in the Bible came out of Pharaoh’s ass when Moses parted the Red Sea.’ Janice asks Meadow what Livia is into. ‘I don’t know, negativity?’
Soundtrack: ‘Non Ti Scordar Di Me’ by Lucianno Pavarotti. ‘Mother And Child Reunion’ by Paul Simon. ‘Goodnight My Love’ Benny Goodman with Ella Fitzgerald.
Surveillance Report: Janice is pitching a self-help video concept called ‘Lady Kerouac’, about packing for the highway to a woman’s self-esteem. As a child she sold her ballet shoes to get money for amphetamines. Prior to his recent bust, Junior hadn’t been arrested since 1968. He pays his taxes and was a veteran of World War II.
The Verdict: ‘She’s still around, she’s too miserable to die.’ Janice schemes to get herself into Livia’s house and ponders matricide. Junior gets out of jail on a medical but Tony is now fully in control of the Family. The return of Junior from prison helps kick-start this season, as does the sparring between Janice and Livia. However, Tony’s problems with passing out have magically gone this episode and Dr Melfi doesn’t even get a mention. The absence of Tony’s therapy sessions leaves a hole in the fabric of the series. This episode is an improvement on the season opener, with Janice revealing herself as a real chip off the block of her mother. The best moment is when Tony and Reverend James Jr discuss the passing of the older generation. Soon they will be the elders…
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
You Da Mamet
There's no shortage of remixed spoof trailers for films on YouTube and the like. There's no shortage of people editing entire films down to just the swearwords. But it takes the brains behind such spoof trailer classics like Must Love Jaws and Ten Things I Hate About Commandments to combine the two net genres and create a new storyline for David Mamet's swearfest, Glengarry Glen Ross. Pure ****ing genius.
Sopranos episode guide #14: Guy Walks Into A Psychiatrist’s Office
US Transmission Date: 16 January 2000
UK Transmission Date: 12 October 2000
Writer: Jason Cahill • Director: Allen Coulter
Cast: John Billeci (Manager), Darrell Carey (Proctor), Dan Chen (Ernest Wu), Robert Cicchini (Dr De’Alessio), Mark Fish (Caller #2), Karen Giordano (Samantha Martin), Bryan Greenberg (Peter McClure), Ian Grimaldi (Philly Parisi), Philipp Kaner (Caller #3), Katrina Lantz (Sylvia), George Loros (Raymond Curto), Wayne W. Pretlow (Caller #1), Kevin Sussman (Kevin), Roberto Thomas (Lee)
Storyline: A stand-in sits a stockbroker’s exam on behalf of Christopher. Pussy is waiting for Tony when he goes to collect his morning newspaper. Pussy says he has been in Puerto Rico, where he got involved with his 26-year-old acupuncturist. But his financial problems remain so Pussy says he has come back to start earning again. Tony is dubious but eventually welcomes back his friend. Philly Parisi has taken over running Junior’s crew while Junior is in jail. Philly goes to the airport to pick up Gigi Cestone, who has just been left there by Paulie. Gigi is supposed to have just come back from Boston. Gigi shoots Philly twice in the head for gossiping about the attempted hit on Tony. Dr Melfi is seeing clients in a room at the Anthony Wayne Motel. Tony calls his former therapist to say it’s safe for her to go back to her own home.
Christopher is working as Stock Exchange Commission compliance officer at a call centre, where stockbrokers are pushing an internet stock called Webistics. Adriana persuades Christopher to have the afternoon off. Two young wannabe mobsters working at the centre, Matt Bevilaqua and Sean Giamonte, beat up one of the brokers who complains about pushing Webistics. Hesh and Tony’s lawyer Neil Mink visit Tony at the Bada Bing strip club. Mink says Junior is trying to get out of jail on medical grounds while awaiting trial. Tony has no objections – with Junior facing twelve federal charges, Tony has become the new acting boss. Carmela calls to say that Tony’s sister Janice has come to stay after twenty years away from New Jersey. Tony decides to stage a family reunion, excluding his mother.
Pussy meets the rest of the crew again. Paulie and the others have been collecting on Pussy’s behalf. Silvio tells Tony what happened at the brokerage. Paulie has confirmed Pussy’s story about going to a clinic in Puerto Rico. Next morning at breakfast Tony welcomes home his sister. She’s on disability benefit, courtesy of the state of Washington. Her last boyfriend Rolf has returned to Andorra. Janice says she wants to take her turn looking after their mother. Tony doesn’t believe the diagnosis that Livia had a stroke. Janice thinks she might stay at Livia’s house but Tony says he has put it up for sale.
Tony confronts Christopher about what happened at the brokerage. He also warns Christopher against letting Matt and Sean steal cars from the brokerage building. Tony and Carmela are shocked when they visit Livia’s house with an estate agent. The house has been vandalised, apparently by local teenagers. Carmela wants Tony to go back into therapy. He is self medicating and they have not had sex recently. Christopher passes Tony’s message on to Matt and Sean. He also requests a part of their proceeds from any car crimes. Janice takes Meadow to visit Livia in hospital. Tony passes out while driving. He has an accident but is unhurt. He tries a new therapist but the doctor refuses to treat Tony because he is a mobster.
The family reunion becomes a barbeque party at the Soprano’s house. Tony’s sister Barbara and her family come along, as do Carmela’s parents. Janice complains to her sister about Tony putting Livia’s house up for sale. Barbara says Janice should not get involved. Tony finds the ‘For Sale’ sign from his mother’s house in the back of Janice’s car. Adriana and Christopher argue while having a drink with Matt and Sean. Adriana complains about Christopher cooking drugs on her stove. She slaps his face so Christopher slaps her. Adriana storms out. Tony approaches Dr Melfi, who is having lunch at a roadside diner. She refuses to take him back as a patient. One of her patients died because she had to leave her office and her home. Melfi tells Tony to get out of her life.
Mobspeak: Pussy says he has to get back his action (illegal betting business). Tony Tells Pussy that Junior is facing twelve RICO predicates (RICO stands for Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organisation Act – predicates are offences under the statutes of this act). Christopher tells Matt and Sean that if they steal any Porsches, he wants a taste (percentage of the take). Matt asks if Christopher has capped (murdered) anyone with Tony.
Mamma Mia: Livia asks Meadow to let her die in hospital. The old woman says she saw a light and voices were calling out to her. Livia says Tony blames her for everything. She claims the hospital staff beat patients at night. Livia gives Meadow jewellery so she won’t be forgotten.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela is twice seen cooking food during the opening montage sequence. Philly Parese’s wife calls out to remind him to get pastries. At breakfast Meadow and AJ eat scrambled eggs, cooked by Carmela. Tony complains about a smell, which Janice says is her Miso seaweed soup. When they visit Livia’s vandalised house, Carmela says she needs Tony to pick up sausage. He wants precise instructions on how many pounds are required and whether the sausage should be hot or sweet. In hospital Meadow tries to feed Livia food, which looks like slop. She turns her nose up at it. At the family reunion, Carmela’s mother makes pound cake using canned pears. She sends her husband out to get the canned pears and some basinigol’. Tony barbeques the meat at the party, with Pussy helping later. For dessert Carmela has some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream to go with the cake. She saves some for Janice. Dr Melfi is having lunch at a roadside diner when Tony approaches her. He asks how the bagels are there. After Melfi rebuffs him, Tony goes home where Carmela microwaves some cold pasta for his lunch.
Mobbed Up: Silvio revives his beloved Al Pacino/Michael Corleone impersonation after a request from Pussy. He performs a selection of dialogue, including a Diane Keaton imitation. Dr De’Alessio refuses to treat Tony and cites the film ‘Analyse This’ which had psychiatrist Billy Crystal treating mobster Robert De Niro. Tony protests that ‘Analyse This’ was just a comedy. Carmela’s mother likens Livia to ‘Mommie Dearest’, a scathing book written about Joan Crawford by her daughter which became a cult film starring Faye Dunaway.
How Do You Feel?: Tony rejects a suggestion from Carmela that he goes back into therapy. But he tries a new psychiatrist after passing out while driving. He tells Dr De’Alessio that things were good since the falling out with his mother until Janice turned up. Now his feelings about her are starting to bleed into his business. The therapist refuses to treat Tony because he’s a mobster. Tony goes back to Dr Melfi but she refuses to treat him or refer his case to another psychiatrist. He swears that nobody got killed because of her but she doesn’t believe him.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Philly Parisi, shot twice in the head by Gigi Cestone for gossiping about Tony and Livia.
Quote/Unquote: Tony predicts the outcome of Janice’s visit: ‘I’m gonna be five grand lighter before she rain dances back to the commune.’ Tony reveals his catchphrase for this season when talking to Janice about his mother: ‘She’s dead to me.’ Tony questions the value of Christopher’s work at the stock brokerage: ‘What did you get your license for, Christopher, your resume, huh?’ Carmela’s mother is bemused by Janice’s change of name to that of a Hindu goddess: ‘Parvati – she’s a cheese now?’
Soundtrack: ‘It Was A Very Good Year’ by Frank Sinatra. ‘Con Te Partiro’ by Andrea Bocelli. ‘I’ve Tried Everything’ by the Eurythmics. ‘Smoke On The Water’ by Deep Purple. ‘Nod Off’ by Skeleton Key. Tony’s crew sing the advertising jingle for a perfume called Charlie. ‘Time Is On My Side’ by Irma Thomas. 'Guilty' by Alejandro Escovedo. 'You Bring Out the Freak In Me' by Leon Haywood.
Surveillance Report: Tony tells Janice ha had just put Livia’s house up for sale. This contradicts events in #11, when he said the sale had gone through. Presumably, the first sale fell through in between seasons one and two. Both Tony and Carmela’s mother say that Carmela’s parents were unwilling to visit the Soprano’s while Livia was on the scene. This contradicts events in #02, when Livia was to give Carmela’s parents a lift to dinner at the Soprano’s house. Janice Soprano is played by Aida Turturro, a cousin of actors John Turturro (star of ‘Barton Fink’) and Nicholas Turturro (from the TV series ‘NYPD Blue’). She has appeared in dozens of films including ‘Deep Blue Sea’, ‘Mickey Blue Eyes’ and ‘Manhattan Murder Mystery’.
The Verdict: ‘How many more people have to die for your personal growth?’ Tony Soprano’s sister Janice comes to stay and Pussy returns from Puerto Rico. Tony claims that life is good but his blackouts have returned and psychiatrist Dr Melfi refuses to take him back as a patient. The opening episode of Season Two seems like a very slow start after the dramatic finale to Season One. There are a lot of loose threads to resolve, but this first helping hardly scratches the surface. Instead, new agita is introduced by the arrival of Janice while Pussy returns with just a brief explanation. By comparison to the pilot, this episode is much less satisfying. David Chase admitted in interviews to being terrified by the pressure created by the first season’s success. By comparison to most other dramas on TV, this episode of ‘The Sopranos’ is top quality. By comparison to the show’s own high standards, this is only average.
UK Transmission Date: 12 October 2000
Writer: Jason Cahill • Director: Allen Coulter
Cast: John Billeci (Manager), Darrell Carey (Proctor), Dan Chen (Ernest Wu), Robert Cicchini (Dr De’Alessio), Mark Fish (Caller #2), Karen Giordano (Samantha Martin), Bryan Greenberg (Peter McClure), Ian Grimaldi (Philly Parisi), Philipp Kaner (Caller #3), Katrina Lantz (Sylvia), George Loros (Raymond Curto), Wayne W. Pretlow (Caller #1), Kevin Sussman (Kevin), Roberto Thomas (Lee)
Storyline: A stand-in sits a stockbroker’s exam on behalf of Christopher. Pussy is waiting for Tony when he goes to collect his morning newspaper. Pussy says he has been in Puerto Rico, where he got involved with his 26-year-old acupuncturist. But his financial problems remain so Pussy says he has come back to start earning again. Tony is dubious but eventually welcomes back his friend. Philly Parisi has taken over running Junior’s crew while Junior is in jail. Philly goes to the airport to pick up Gigi Cestone, who has just been left there by Paulie. Gigi is supposed to have just come back from Boston. Gigi shoots Philly twice in the head for gossiping about the attempted hit on Tony. Dr Melfi is seeing clients in a room at the Anthony Wayne Motel. Tony calls his former therapist to say it’s safe for her to go back to her own home.
Christopher is working as Stock Exchange Commission compliance officer at a call centre, where stockbrokers are pushing an internet stock called Webistics. Adriana persuades Christopher to have the afternoon off. Two young wannabe mobsters working at the centre, Matt Bevilaqua and Sean Giamonte, beat up one of the brokers who complains about pushing Webistics. Hesh and Tony’s lawyer Neil Mink visit Tony at the Bada Bing strip club. Mink says Junior is trying to get out of jail on medical grounds while awaiting trial. Tony has no objections – with Junior facing twelve federal charges, Tony has become the new acting boss. Carmela calls to say that Tony’s sister Janice has come to stay after twenty years away from New Jersey. Tony decides to stage a family reunion, excluding his mother.
Pussy meets the rest of the crew again. Paulie and the others have been collecting on Pussy’s behalf. Silvio tells Tony what happened at the brokerage. Paulie has confirmed Pussy’s story about going to a clinic in Puerto Rico. Next morning at breakfast Tony welcomes home his sister. She’s on disability benefit, courtesy of the state of Washington. Her last boyfriend Rolf has returned to Andorra. Janice says she wants to take her turn looking after their mother. Tony doesn’t believe the diagnosis that Livia had a stroke. Janice thinks she might stay at Livia’s house but Tony says he has put it up for sale.
Tony confronts Christopher about what happened at the brokerage. He also warns Christopher against letting Matt and Sean steal cars from the brokerage building. Tony and Carmela are shocked when they visit Livia’s house with an estate agent. The house has been vandalised, apparently by local teenagers. Carmela wants Tony to go back into therapy. He is self medicating and they have not had sex recently. Christopher passes Tony’s message on to Matt and Sean. He also requests a part of their proceeds from any car crimes. Janice takes Meadow to visit Livia in hospital. Tony passes out while driving. He has an accident but is unhurt. He tries a new therapist but the doctor refuses to treat Tony because he is a mobster.
The family reunion becomes a barbeque party at the Soprano’s house. Tony’s sister Barbara and her family come along, as do Carmela’s parents. Janice complains to her sister about Tony putting Livia’s house up for sale. Barbara says Janice should not get involved. Tony finds the ‘For Sale’ sign from his mother’s house in the back of Janice’s car. Adriana and Christopher argue while having a drink with Matt and Sean. Adriana complains about Christopher cooking drugs on her stove. She slaps his face so Christopher slaps her. Adriana storms out. Tony approaches Dr Melfi, who is having lunch at a roadside diner. She refuses to take him back as a patient. One of her patients died because she had to leave her office and her home. Melfi tells Tony to get out of her life.
Mobspeak: Pussy says he has to get back his action (illegal betting business). Tony Tells Pussy that Junior is facing twelve RICO predicates (RICO stands for Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organisation Act – predicates are offences under the statutes of this act). Christopher tells Matt and Sean that if they steal any Porsches, he wants a taste (percentage of the take). Matt asks if Christopher has capped (murdered) anyone with Tony.
Mamma Mia: Livia asks Meadow to let her die in hospital. The old woman says she saw a light and voices were calling out to her. Livia says Tony blames her for everything. She claims the hospital staff beat patients at night. Livia gives Meadow jewellery so she won’t be forgotten.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela is twice seen cooking food during the opening montage sequence. Philly Parese’s wife calls out to remind him to get pastries. At breakfast Meadow and AJ eat scrambled eggs, cooked by Carmela. Tony complains about a smell, which Janice says is her Miso seaweed soup. When they visit Livia’s vandalised house, Carmela says she needs Tony to pick up sausage. He wants precise instructions on how many pounds are required and whether the sausage should be hot or sweet. In hospital Meadow tries to feed Livia food, which looks like slop. She turns her nose up at it. At the family reunion, Carmela’s mother makes pound cake using canned pears. She sends her husband out to get the canned pears and some basinigol’. Tony barbeques the meat at the party, with Pussy helping later. For dessert Carmela has some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream to go with the cake. She saves some for Janice. Dr Melfi is having lunch at a roadside diner when Tony approaches her. He asks how the bagels are there. After Melfi rebuffs him, Tony goes home where Carmela microwaves some cold pasta for his lunch.
Mobbed Up: Silvio revives his beloved Al Pacino/Michael Corleone impersonation after a request from Pussy. He performs a selection of dialogue, including a Diane Keaton imitation. Dr De’Alessio refuses to treat Tony and cites the film ‘Analyse This’ which had psychiatrist Billy Crystal treating mobster Robert De Niro. Tony protests that ‘Analyse This’ was just a comedy. Carmela’s mother likens Livia to ‘Mommie Dearest’, a scathing book written about Joan Crawford by her daughter which became a cult film starring Faye Dunaway.
How Do You Feel?: Tony rejects a suggestion from Carmela that he goes back into therapy. But he tries a new psychiatrist after passing out while driving. He tells Dr De’Alessio that things were good since the falling out with his mother until Janice turned up. Now his feelings about her are starting to bleed into his business. The therapist refuses to treat Tony because he’s a mobster. Tony goes back to Dr Melfi but she refuses to treat him or refer his case to another psychiatrist. He swears that nobody got killed because of her but she doesn’t believe him.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Philly Parisi, shot twice in the head by Gigi Cestone for gossiping about Tony and Livia.
Quote/Unquote: Tony predicts the outcome of Janice’s visit: ‘I’m gonna be five grand lighter before she rain dances back to the commune.’ Tony reveals his catchphrase for this season when talking to Janice about his mother: ‘She’s dead to me.’ Tony questions the value of Christopher’s work at the stock brokerage: ‘What did you get your license for, Christopher, your resume, huh?’ Carmela’s mother is bemused by Janice’s change of name to that of a Hindu goddess: ‘Parvati – she’s a cheese now?’
Soundtrack: ‘It Was A Very Good Year’ by Frank Sinatra. ‘Con Te Partiro’ by Andrea Bocelli. ‘I’ve Tried Everything’ by the Eurythmics. ‘Smoke On The Water’ by Deep Purple. ‘Nod Off’ by Skeleton Key. Tony’s crew sing the advertising jingle for a perfume called Charlie. ‘Time Is On My Side’ by Irma Thomas. 'Guilty' by Alejandro Escovedo. 'You Bring Out the Freak In Me' by Leon Haywood.
Surveillance Report: Tony tells Janice ha had just put Livia’s house up for sale. This contradicts events in #11, when he said the sale had gone through. Presumably, the first sale fell through in between seasons one and two. Both Tony and Carmela’s mother say that Carmela’s parents were unwilling to visit the Soprano’s while Livia was on the scene. This contradicts events in #02, when Livia was to give Carmela’s parents a lift to dinner at the Soprano’s house. Janice Soprano is played by Aida Turturro, a cousin of actors John Turturro (star of ‘Barton Fink’) and Nicholas Turturro (from the TV series ‘NYPD Blue’). She has appeared in dozens of films including ‘Deep Blue Sea’, ‘Mickey Blue Eyes’ and ‘Manhattan Murder Mystery’.
The Verdict: ‘How many more people have to die for your personal growth?’ Tony Soprano’s sister Janice comes to stay and Pussy returns from Puerto Rico. Tony claims that life is good but his blackouts have returned and psychiatrist Dr Melfi refuses to take him back as a patient. The opening episode of Season Two seems like a very slow start after the dramatic finale to Season One. There are a lot of loose threads to resolve, but this first helping hardly scratches the surface. Instead, new agita is introduced by the arrival of Janice while Pussy returns with just a brief explanation. By comparison to the pilot, this episode is much less satisfying. David Chase admitted in interviews to being terrified by the pressure created by the first season’s success. By comparison to most other dramas on TV, this episode of ‘The Sopranos’ is top quality. By comparison to the show’s own high standards, this is only average.
No more Fridays anymore
Suddenly realised a jammed schedule on forthcoming Fridays means the taught sessions of my screenwriting MA course are all but over. We're still on the Easter break at present, but classes resumes for the second year part-timers on April 27th - when I'll be down in That Fancy London for the Script Factory's TV Forum. The following Friday [May 4th] I've got a business meeting that's taken five months to secure, so that's got to be my first priority. The following Friday [May 11th], I'm off to the Bristol Comics Festival to pimp my latest tome, THRILL-POWER OVERLOAD, the official history of acclaimed British comic 2000 AD. The book's consumed much of the last six years, so it claims precedence.
That leaves May 18th as the only remaining Friday with taught classes that I'll be able to attend. May 25th is a non-teaching day, set aside for submitting the treatments for our final project and prepping our research dossiers. Not that I could make it into clases that day anyway, as I'm back down to That Fancy London for the Script Factory's Storylining for Long Running Television Drama: Soap Story Conference Workshop. Guess I'll be submitting my treatment a couple of days earlier, to make sure I hit the submission deadline. The last week of term again features no taught classes, as our last task for the trimester is submitting our research dossier.
To circumvent my schedule of over-crowded Fridays, I'm arranging to sneak into some of the Thursday screenwriting classes for the full-timers. But with the third trimester devoted to writing our final projects, for me the taught section of my MA course is now all but over. It's been a long, strange journey getting this far. The first year feels like it happened severeal lifetimes ago. Since then Screen Academy Scotland's acquired a stunningly refurbished home and considerably more tutors. I'd like to think I've learnt a lot since wandering warily on to the Merchiston campus back in September 2005. My writing's definitely improved, I secured my first broadcast credit and am building up a portfolio of scripts worthy of the name.
There's still a long, long way to go on the MA course, despite the lack of teaching sessions in the remaining five months. I'm not happy or confident about the synopsis I submitted for my final project. It's an ugly collision of tones, zig-zagging erratically between the comic, the dramatic and the tragic. There's one character too many and the pacing needs work. Frankly, the whole thing's a bit early doors. I need to find time (!) in the next few weeks to sort my ideas out, otherwise I'll have made a rod for my own back come the final trimester when we stay home and write.
The research dossier is simultaneously more and less worrying: more because there's only six and a half weeks left before it has to be submitted, and I feel woefully lacking in progress; less because there's only six and a half weeks left, so once it has been submitted I can concentrate fully on my final project. I'm not using the research module for my final project, because I couldn't get excited about spending time researching side issues relating to it. Instead I'm delving into a period and seeting place in history that's long fascinated me but for which I've never had the time to devote to proper research. I suspect much of May will be devoted to pulling the dossier together, in between pursing all the other projects I've got on the go and trying to earn some money. Spending several hundred pounds a month on training courses, seminars and workshops may be good for career in the long run, but they're not helping my bank balance right now. Let's hope it all pays off, one day...
That leaves May 18th as the only remaining Friday with taught classes that I'll be able to attend. May 25th is a non-teaching day, set aside for submitting the treatments for our final project and prepping our research dossiers. Not that I could make it into clases that day anyway, as I'm back down to That Fancy London for the Script Factory's Storylining for Long Running Television Drama: Soap Story Conference Workshop. Guess I'll be submitting my treatment a couple of days earlier, to make sure I hit the submission deadline. The last week of term again features no taught classes, as our last task for the trimester is submitting our research dossier.
To circumvent my schedule of over-crowded Fridays, I'm arranging to sneak into some of the Thursday screenwriting classes for the full-timers. But with the third trimester devoted to writing our final projects, for me the taught section of my MA course is now all but over. It's been a long, strange journey getting this far. The first year feels like it happened severeal lifetimes ago. Since then Screen Academy Scotland's acquired a stunningly refurbished home and considerably more tutors. I'd like to think I've learnt a lot since wandering warily on to the Merchiston campus back in September 2005. My writing's definitely improved, I secured my first broadcast credit and am building up a portfolio of scripts worthy of the name.
There's still a long, long way to go on the MA course, despite the lack of teaching sessions in the remaining five months. I'm not happy or confident about the synopsis I submitted for my final project. It's an ugly collision of tones, zig-zagging erratically between the comic, the dramatic and the tragic. There's one character too many and the pacing needs work. Frankly, the whole thing's a bit early doors. I need to find time (!) in the next few weeks to sort my ideas out, otherwise I'll have made a rod for my own back come the final trimester when we stay home and write.
The research dossier is simultaneously more and less worrying: more because there's only six and a half weeks left before it has to be submitted, and I feel woefully lacking in progress; less because there's only six and a half weeks left, so once it has been submitted I can concentrate fully on my final project. I'm not using the research module for my final project, because I couldn't get excited about spending time researching side issues relating to it. Instead I'm delving into a period and seeting place in history that's long fascinated me but for which I've never had the time to devote to proper research. I suspect much of May will be devoted to pulling the dossier together, in between pursing all the other projects I've got on the go and trying to earn some money. Spending several hundred pounds a month on training courses, seminars and workshops may be good for career in the long run, but they're not helping my bank balance right now. Let's hope it all pays off, one day...
Monday, April 16, 2007
BBC Writers' Academy - apply now for 07 intake
The BBC has opened applications for the Writers' Academy, a training scheme designed to find the next generation of scribes for the corporation's ongoing drama series [i.e. soaps]. Each year more than 500 people apply, from which eight are chosen for fast-tracking. Below are some extracts from the official announcement:
If you're still interested [and qualify to apply], it's worth reading Danny Stack's experience of trying out for the academy in 2005.
The BBC Writers' Academy is inviting applications for a place on its unique training programme which offers writers the chance to hone their skills alongside the very best in British industry talent. The Academy's role is to discover the next generation of writers for BBC One' s flagship drama series and then develop them to work across the entire range of BBC's drama output.
Successful applicants will enjoy guest lectures from leading British writers such as: Tony Jordan, Jed Mercurio and Dominic Minghella, alongside presentations from leading directors Bharat Nalluri and Dearbhla Walsh. There will also be workshops in all aspects of television production. The initial course will last for 13-weeks, during which each writer will be commissioned to write an episode of Doctors. If their Doctors episode is green-lit for broadcast, each writer will rotate across EastEnders, Casualty and Holby City until the end of the 15-month period.
Applicants must have had their work previously broadcast on television or radio, or performed professionally at the theatre. For more information and to apply, applicants should visit bbc.co.uk/jobs. The closing date is 14 May 2007.
If you're still interested [and qualify to apply], it's worth reading Danny Stack's experience of trying out for the academy in 2005.
Things I need to help me write
Lucy Vee has a fun posting on her blog Write Here, Write Now about the things she needs and uses to assist her writing. [It's worth reading just for the anecdote involving the postman - no wonder he always rings twice]. That got me thinking: what do I really upon to help me get through the writing day?
Coffee: four mugs of it a day, one every two hours or so. Too much coffee is not good for the system, the imagination or the teeth. I like strong, white coffee - no sugar. [You notice when you ask people how they like their coffee, nobody ever takes sugar anymore? Hell, I don't think we've even got sugar in the house.] I've got special mugs I use while writing, but that's all about superstition, not need.
Post-It Notes: the second best accidental invention ever, bettered only by champagne. Post-Its are the writer's friend, the perfect place to keep short notes, phone messages, random words and phrases, potential titles or story springboards. Used to be my monitor was edged with dozens of Post-Its, now most of them reside on last year's wall planner. Among my current favourite notes in search of story: Game of Consequences; Dirty Requiem; The Rotunda That Loved Aubrey; Amish Buying Crack; The Kindness of Stranglers; and Avenged Sevenfold [I think the last is a band name, but still a cracking title].
Yellow Legal Pads: Another great writing resource, where dialogue can be scribbled, plot points parked for later use and thoughts extruded. Somewhere writing on yellow is easier than writing on white, don't ask me why. Plus the pages are perforated along the top, so you can rip a page out. My only complaint is a lack of hole-punched circles down the side, that'd made legal pads perfect.
Soundtracks: I do my best writing to movie soundtracks. I've got a few favourites I'll run through iTunes to evoke particular kinds of stories - Backdraft for action, blood and thunder; Last of the Mohicans for danger, yearning and fighting; Little Children for dread and churning; other favourites include The Lives of Others, The Last Valley, The Lost Prince, Aliens, City Hall, Enemy at the Gates, Leon, and The Shawshank Redemption.
Collins Concise Dictionary: still the quickest way to reassure myself about spelling. Spellcheckers are all very well, but sometimes I'll convince myself a particular word should fit a sentence and want to check its definition as well as getting the spelling correct. Plus my Collins has lots of random words that prompt ideas and strange assocations.
Closed door: I write better with the door closed. It makes the room smaller, boxes me in, forces my imagination to take flight. I suspect I'd write very well in a monastry. I have written in coffee shops, on kitchen tables and inside cars [a little drive-by prosing] but a small, enclosed room works best for me when it's time to crunch some words together.
Other essentials: a pen for scribbling notes, highlighter pens for picking out key texts in reference material, my iMac G5, index cards, my Klappe chair from IKEA and the internet. The telephone is mostly just a distraction, though I try to have one meaningful conversation a day on the phone, to remind myself there is life outside the writing room.
So, what gets you through the day as a writer?
Coffee: four mugs of it a day, one every two hours or so. Too much coffee is not good for the system, the imagination or the teeth. I like strong, white coffee - no sugar. [You notice when you ask people how they like their coffee, nobody ever takes sugar anymore? Hell, I don't think we've even got sugar in the house.] I've got special mugs I use while writing, but that's all about superstition, not need.
Post-It Notes: the second best accidental invention ever, bettered only by champagne. Post-Its are the writer's friend, the perfect place to keep short notes, phone messages, random words and phrases, potential titles or story springboards. Used to be my monitor was edged with dozens of Post-Its, now most of them reside on last year's wall planner. Among my current favourite notes in search of story: Game of Consequences; Dirty Requiem; The Rotunda That Loved Aubrey; Amish Buying Crack; The Kindness of Stranglers; and Avenged Sevenfold [I think the last is a band name, but still a cracking title].
Yellow Legal Pads: Another great writing resource, where dialogue can be scribbled, plot points parked for later use and thoughts extruded. Somewhere writing on yellow is easier than writing on white, don't ask me why. Plus the pages are perforated along the top, so you can rip a page out. My only complaint is a lack of hole-punched circles down the side, that'd made legal pads perfect.
Soundtracks: I do my best writing to movie soundtracks. I've got a few favourites I'll run through iTunes to evoke particular kinds of stories - Backdraft for action, blood and thunder; Last of the Mohicans for danger, yearning and fighting; Little Children for dread and churning; other favourites include The Lives of Others, The Last Valley, The Lost Prince, Aliens, City Hall, Enemy at the Gates, Leon, and The Shawshank Redemption.
Collins Concise Dictionary: still the quickest way to reassure myself about spelling. Spellcheckers are all very well, but sometimes I'll convince myself a particular word should fit a sentence and want to check its definition as well as getting the spelling correct. Plus my Collins has lots of random words that prompt ideas and strange assocations.
Closed door: I write better with the door closed. It makes the room smaller, boxes me in, forces my imagination to take flight. I suspect I'd write very well in a monastry. I have written in coffee shops, on kitchen tables and inside cars [a little drive-by prosing] but a small, enclosed room works best for me when it's time to crunch some words together.
Other essentials: a pen for scribbling notes, highlighter pens for picking out key texts in reference material, my iMac G5, index cards, my Klappe chair from IKEA and the internet. The telephone is mostly just a distraction, though I try to have one meaningful conversation a day on the phone, to remind myself there is life outside the writing room.
So, what gets you through the day as a writer?
Sopranos episode guide #13: I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano
US Transmission Date: 4 April 1999
UK Transmission Date: 7 October 1999
Writer: David Chase • Director: John Patterson
Cast: Frank Pellegrino (Agent Cubitoso), John Aprea (U. S. Attorney), George Bass (Janitor), Gene Canfield (Police Officer), Frank Dallarosa (EMT), Santiago Douglas (Jeremy Herrera), Militza Ivanova (Russian Woman), Candy Trabucco (Ms. Giaculo)
Storyline: Junior and his captains have a meeting. Afterwards Junior agrees with Tony that Jimmy Altieri is a rat and approves having Jimmy whacked as a message to everyone. Christopher takes Jimmy to an apartment for some quality time with two Russian prostitutes. Once Jimmy sits down he is executed by Silvio Dante. Meadow is on the sofa at home necking with her boyfriend while AJ is upstairs masturbating in his bedroom. All three are disturbed by Livia, who wanders past outside, apparently confused and lost. The police arrive after getting complaints about a woman wandering. Dr Melfi confronts Tony about his mother’s recent actions. She suggests Livia has borderline personality disorder with no love or compassion. Tony becomes enraged, smashing Melfi’s glass coffee table top and storming out after threatening her physically. Melfi is terrified.
Carmela and Rosalie Aprile have lunch at the newly opened Vesuvio restaurant. They are joined by Father Phil. He is wearing the late Jackie Aprile’s watch, which Rosalie has given to him. Jimmy’s corpse is found behind a building. Tony is persuaded by the FBI to listen to surveillance tapes. They document Livia goading Junior into ordering the hit on Tony. Artie Bucco visits Livia in the Green Grove nursing unit. She tells him about Tony having the original Vesuvio restaurant torched. Tony tells his crew that it was definitely Junior and Mikey Palmice that took out the hit. Tony begins plans to strike back. Silvio points out that Junior might want to finish the job on Tony, probably using Mikey’s associate Chucky Signore. Tony says that Chucky has to disappear without raising any alarms.
Tony is suffering low self-esteem after absorbing the fact that his own mother wanted him dead. Carmela believes Livia is faking the Alzheimer’s symptoms to escape retribution for her actions. Tony surprises Chucky Signore on his boat, executing him and then dumping the body out at sea with the help of Silvio. Later Tony goes back to Dr Melfi, who eventually agrees to let him in for a session but sits behind her desk rather than opposite Tony in a chair. He warns Melfi that she is in danger and should get out of town until he can remove the threat. She is appalled that people will be murdered on her behalf. Tony thanks her for being a good doctor. Artie confronts Tony behind Satriale’s Pork Store, threatening to shoot him with a hunting rifle. Tony convinces Artie that he did not burn down the old Vesuvio restaurant. Artie smashes the rifle against his own car and drives away.
Junior and Livia come to the Soprano’s house for the regular Sunday dinner. Livia is ranting about families dying because of uncooked pork. Tony asks about Artie visiting her in the nursing unit, but Livia denies all knowledge. Artie seeks guidance from Father Phil. The priest suggests Artie tell all to his wife Charmaine and risk losing everything in a police investigation. Tony tells his crew that he has been seeing a psychiatrist for five months. Paulie admits to seeing a therapist previously for some issues and learning some coping skills as a result. Carmela takes a bowl of home cooked food to Father Phil but finds him being served pasta by Rosalie Aprile. Carmela leaves, dumping her food into a rubbish bin outside.
Charmaine hires Adriana to work at the new Vesuvio. Artie decides against telling his wife about what really happened to the old restaurant. Christopher and Paulie execute Mikey Palmice while he’s out for an early morning job. The FBI swoop, arresting Junior, Larry Boy Barese and others on federal racketeering charges. Tony and his family watch Junior doing the perp walk on the TV news. Tony gets a call from his lawyer about the charges. They relate to a telephone calling card scam and a technical stock racket in which he had no involvement. The feds have stuff on Tony from surveillance and informants, they just don’t have a case yet. U.S. Attorney Gene Conigliaro tries to persuade Junior to testify against the Family, claiming that Tony is the true acting boss. Junior won’t co-operate.
Carmela gets home to find Father Phil already inside. He’s brought a DVD to watch. Carmela confronts the priest about his actions, accusing him of playing a game of sexual frustration with spiritually needy woman. Father Phil leaves, taken aback by what she has said. Tony goes to the Green Grove nursing unit, intent on smothering his mother with a pillow. Livia is being wheeled out to a hospital after suffering an apparent stroke. Tony tells her he knows she influenced having him whacked and threatens to do the same to her. Security guards pull Tony off his mother, who smiles as she is taken away. Tony drives to Melfi’s office as a storm closes in but she has disappeared, officially going on vacation. Tony and his family are driving around in the storm, unable to get home. They stop at Vesuvio and Artie agrees to cook for them by candlelight. Inside Silvio and Paulie are eating while Christopher and Adriana are sitting at the bar. Tony makes a toast to good moments like this…
Mobspeak: Junior tells the FBI that his nephew is a strunz (piece of shit).
Mamma Mia: Livia turns up at the Soprano house at one in the morning, babbling incoherently. She is shifted into the nursing unit at Green Grove and gets tested for Alzheimer’s disease. When Artie Bucco visits her in the nursing unit, Livia turns her nose up at some home-cooked Italian food because it’s a Northern recipe. She cold-bloodedly tells him about Tony torching Vesuvio, hoping this will drive Artie to finish the job on Tony where others failed. At Sunday dinner, Carmela says Livia has to admit it’s a nice nursing unit that lets someone be signed out for family occasions. ‘I don’t have to admit anything,’ Livia says – never were truer words spoken.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela and Rosalie Aprile enjoy a meal at the new Vesuvio. Artie brings them a free plate of Buccatine matriciana with imported pancetta and apologises for a bug in their salad. Father Phil joins them for lunch and sings the praises of a zabaglione he had at the Soprano household. When Artie visits Livia in the nursing unit he brings her a plate of gavadel pasta with a nice duck ragu. At the Sunday family dinner the Sopranos, Livia and Junior have pork with the usual pasta, salad and bread. Carmela takes a bowl of pasta to Father Phil but he is already eating some home-cooked food, served to him by Rosalie Aprile in his office. Artie takes a lunch break at Vesuvio, eating spaghetti and sauce. Carmela cooks the family scrambled eggs for breakfast. AJ eats ice cream from a carton while watching Junior on the TV news. Artie covers a simple meal of pasta and sauce by candlelight for the Sopranos. AJ asks if Vesuvio has any peanut butter in its kitchen. Paulie and Silvio are also eating pasta at Vesuvio in the storm.
Mobbed Up: AJ hums the theme to US gameshow ‘Jeopardy’ during the Sunday family dinner. Mikey Palmice claims it was Junior who shot Brendan in the bath but Christopher rejects this, likening Junior to the TV cartoon character Mr Magoo which was turned into a bad film starring Leslie Neilsen. Father Phil brings round a copy of ‘One True Thing’ on DVD to watch with Carmela. But she recalls telling him just a week before that she is not a big Renee Zellwegger fan.
How Do You Feel?: Tony feels bad about his mother being transferred into the nursing unit at Green Grove – the fate she dreaded and feared. Dr Melfi suggests that Livia was involved in ordering the hit on Tony, but he rejects this. Melfi diagnoses Livia as having borderline personality disorder. When she reads out the symptoms from the textbook Tony flies into a rage. He smashes the glass top of Melfi’s coffee table and threatens to smash her face into fifty thousand pieces before leaving. The terrified therapist locks her office door. After Tony has heard the FBI tapes, he returns to see Melfi. Tony says he is humbled that the therapist accepts his assurance that she is not in any danger from him. Melfi suggests Tony is suffering feelings of worthlessness because of his mother’s plot to have him killed – he doesn’t disagree. He thanks Melfi for being a good doctor to him.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Welcome to the end of season bloodbath as three cast members meet their makers. Jimmy Altieri is executed by Silvio for turning into a rat. Chucky Signore is gunned down as a precautionary measure by Tony, who pulls his firearm from inside a large fish. Christopher and Paulie chase Mikey Palmice through a forest before ventilating him with more than a dozen bullets. Junior only escapes a similar fate because the FBI arrest him first.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Dr Melfi tells Tony that in his worst dreams, a duck flies off with his penis, symbolising castration. Tony relates sex dreams he has been having about his neighbour, Jean Cusamano. They are doing it doggy style and Tony climaxes. He describes Jean as having a big ass but Dr Melfi says that Jean is quite slender. Tony moves the conversation on to other topics.
Quote/Unquote: Jimmy Altieri asks Christopher whether he is wearing enough cologne: ‘You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died.’ Christopher extols the virtues of East European prostitutes: ‘Russian boo-boos, you go for some basic foreplay, they’ll detail your car.’ Dr Melfi tells Tony it has been a long odyssey with his mother. ‘These last five hundred years just seemed to race by,’ he replies. The FBI want Tony to hear some tapes, but he is unimpressed: ‘The Springsteen boxed set. I already got it.’ Tony ponders the twin causes of his problems: ‘Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.’ Tony tries to get back on topic while discussing sex dreams with Dr Melfi: ‘We got bigger things to talk about than Jean Cusamano’s ass.’ The FBI tells Junior they want New York mobsters Mangano and Teresi. ‘I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, see who gets lucky first,’ Junior says.
Soundtrack: ‘Inside of Me’ by Little Steven. ‘Woodcabin’ by Saint Etienne. ‘I’ll Remember April’ by Bobby Darin. ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ by Frankie Valli. ‘Rave On’ by Buddy Holly and The Crickets. 'El Gorrito' by Lucho Argain. 'Groove Me' by Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies. 'The Four Seasons (Andrea Parker Mix]' by Steve Reich.
Surveillance Report: Adriana is working two jobs to become a music manager. According to TV news reports, Mikey’s mob nickname was Grab Bag.
The Verdict: ‘I’m gonna live a nice long happy life, which is more than I can say for you.’ Tony takes revenge for the attempt on his life while the FBI swoops on Junior and several of the captains. The season finale is the big pay-off, where virtually all the major plotlines culminate in a gripping conclusion. David Chase’s script is dripping with great lines, the body count reaches an all-time high and Carmela resolves her issues with the religious predator, Father Phil. A great episode for regular viewers who get rewarded for their loyalty but probably too dense and self-referential for any casual watchers. The final scene emphasises the twin concerns of the show – the family and the Family. This episode was written as a grand finale if ‘The Sopranos’ was not renewed for a second series. This would cause some problems for the second season…
UK Transmission Date: 7 October 1999
Writer: David Chase • Director: John Patterson
Cast: Frank Pellegrino (Agent Cubitoso), John Aprea (U. S. Attorney), George Bass (Janitor), Gene Canfield (Police Officer), Frank Dallarosa (EMT), Santiago Douglas (Jeremy Herrera), Militza Ivanova (Russian Woman), Candy Trabucco (Ms. Giaculo)
Storyline: Junior and his captains have a meeting. Afterwards Junior agrees with Tony that Jimmy Altieri is a rat and approves having Jimmy whacked as a message to everyone. Christopher takes Jimmy to an apartment for some quality time with two Russian prostitutes. Once Jimmy sits down he is executed by Silvio Dante. Meadow is on the sofa at home necking with her boyfriend while AJ is upstairs masturbating in his bedroom. All three are disturbed by Livia, who wanders past outside, apparently confused and lost. The police arrive after getting complaints about a woman wandering. Dr Melfi confronts Tony about his mother’s recent actions. She suggests Livia has borderline personality disorder with no love or compassion. Tony becomes enraged, smashing Melfi’s glass coffee table top and storming out after threatening her physically. Melfi is terrified.
Carmela and Rosalie Aprile have lunch at the newly opened Vesuvio restaurant. They are joined by Father Phil. He is wearing the late Jackie Aprile’s watch, which Rosalie has given to him. Jimmy’s corpse is found behind a building. Tony is persuaded by the FBI to listen to surveillance tapes. They document Livia goading Junior into ordering the hit on Tony. Artie Bucco visits Livia in the Green Grove nursing unit. She tells him about Tony having the original Vesuvio restaurant torched. Tony tells his crew that it was definitely Junior and Mikey Palmice that took out the hit. Tony begins plans to strike back. Silvio points out that Junior might want to finish the job on Tony, probably using Mikey’s associate Chucky Signore. Tony says that Chucky has to disappear without raising any alarms.
Tony is suffering low self-esteem after absorbing the fact that his own mother wanted him dead. Carmela believes Livia is faking the Alzheimer’s symptoms to escape retribution for her actions. Tony surprises Chucky Signore on his boat, executing him and then dumping the body out at sea with the help of Silvio. Later Tony goes back to Dr Melfi, who eventually agrees to let him in for a session but sits behind her desk rather than opposite Tony in a chair. He warns Melfi that she is in danger and should get out of town until he can remove the threat. She is appalled that people will be murdered on her behalf. Tony thanks her for being a good doctor. Artie confronts Tony behind Satriale’s Pork Store, threatening to shoot him with a hunting rifle. Tony convinces Artie that he did not burn down the old Vesuvio restaurant. Artie smashes the rifle against his own car and drives away.
Junior and Livia come to the Soprano’s house for the regular Sunday dinner. Livia is ranting about families dying because of uncooked pork. Tony asks about Artie visiting her in the nursing unit, but Livia denies all knowledge. Artie seeks guidance from Father Phil. The priest suggests Artie tell all to his wife Charmaine and risk losing everything in a police investigation. Tony tells his crew that he has been seeing a psychiatrist for five months. Paulie admits to seeing a therapist previously for some issues and learning some coping skills as a result. Carmela takes a bowl of home cooked food to Father Phil but finds him being served pasta by Rosalie Aprile. Carmela leaves, dumping her food into a rubbish bin outside.
Charmaine hires Adriana to work at the new Vesuvio. Artie decides against telling his wife about what really happened to the old restaurant. Christopher and Paulie execute Mikey Palmice while he’s out for an early morning job. The FBI swoop, arresting Junior, Larry Boy Barese and others on federal racketeering charges. Tony and his family watch Junior doing the perp walk on the TV news. Tony gets a call from his lawyer about the charges. They relate to a telephone calling card scam and a technical stock racket in which he had no involvement. The feds have stuff on Tony from surveillance and informants, they just don’t have a case yet. U.S. Attorney Gene Conigliaro tries to persuade Junior to testify against the Family, claiming that Tony is the true acting boss. Junior won’t co-operate.
Carmela gets home to find Father Phil already inside. He’s brought a DVD to watch. Carmela confronts the priest about his actions, accusing him of playing a game of sexual frustration with spiritually needy woman. Father Phil leaves, taken aback by what she has said. Tony goes to the Green Grove nursing unit, intent on smothering his mother with a pillow. Livia is being wheeled out to a hospital after suffering an apparent stroke. Tony tells her he knows she influenced having him whacked and threatens to do the same to her. Security guards pull Tony off his mother, who smiles as she is taken away. Tony drives to Melfi’s office as a storm closes in but she has disappeared, officially going on vacation. Tony and his family are driving around in the storm, unable to get home. They stop at Vesuvio and Artie agrees to cook for them by candlelight. Inside Silvio and Paulie are eating while Christopher and Adriana are sitting at the bar. Tony makes a toast to good moments like this…
Mobspeak: Junior tells the FBI that his nephew is a strunz (piece of shit).
Mamma Mia: Livia turns up at the Soprano house at one in the morning, babbling incoherently. She is shifted into the nursing unit at Green Grove and gets tested for Alzheimer’s disease. When Artie Bucco visits her in the nursing unit, Livia turns her nose up at some home-cooked Italian food because it’s a Northern recipe. She cold-bloodedly tells him about Tony torching Vesuvio, hoping this will drive Artie to finish the job on Tony where others failed. At Sunday dinner, Carmela says Livia has to admit it’s a nice nursing unit that lets someone be signed out for family occasions. ‘I don’t have to admit anything,’ Livia says – never were truer words spoken.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela and Rosalie Aprile enjoy a meal at the new Vesuvio. Artie brings them a free plate of Buccatine matriciana with imported pancetta and apologises for a bug in their salad. Father Phil joins them for lunch and sings the praises of a zabaglione he had at the Soprano household. When Artie visits Livia in the nursing unit he brings her a plate of gavadel pasta with a nice duck ragu. At the Sunday family dinner the Sopranos, Livia and Junior have pork with the usual pasta, salad and bread. Carmela takes a bowl of pasta to Father Phil but he is already eating some home-cooked food, served to him by Rosalie Aprile in his office. Artie takes a lunch break at Vesuvio, eating spaghetti and sauce. Carmela cooks the family scrambled eggs for breakfast. AJ eats ice cream from a carton while watching Junior on the TV news. Artie covers a simple meal of pasta and sauce by candlelight for the Sopranos. AJ asks if Vesuvio has any peanut butter in its kitchen. Paulie and Silvio are also eating pasta at Vesuvio in the storm.
Mobbed Up: AJ hums the theme to US gameshow ‘Jeopardy’ during the Sunday family dinner. Mikey Palmice claims it was Junior who shot Brendan in the bath but Christopher rejects this, likening Junior to the TV cartoon character Mr Magoo which was turned into a bad film starring Leslie Neilsen. Father Phil brings round a copy of ‘One True Thing’ on DVD to watch with Carmela. But she recalls telling him just a week before that she is not a big Renee Zellwegger fan.
How Do You Feel?: Tony feels bad about his mother being transferred into the nursing unit at Green Grove – the fate she dreaded and feared. Dr Melfi suggests that Livia was involved in ordering the hit on Tony, but he rejects this. Melfi diagnoses Livia as having borderline personality disorder. When she reads out the symptoms from the textbook Tony flies into a rage. He smashes the glass top of Melfi’s coffee table and threatens to smash her face into fifty thousand pieces before leaving. The terrified therapist locks her office door. After Tony has heard the FBI tapes, he returns to see Melfi. Tony says he is humbled that the therapist accepts his assurance that she is not in any danger from him. Melfi suggests Tony is suffering feelings of worthlessness because of his mother’s plot to have him killed – he doesn’t disagree. He thanks Melfi for being a good doctor to him.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Welcome to the end of season bloodbath as three cast members meet their makers. Jimmy Altieri is executed by Silvio for turning into a rat. Chucky Signore is gunned down as a precautionary measure by Tony, who pulls his firearm from inside a large fish. Christopher and Paulie chase Mikey Palmice through a forest before ventilating him with more than a dozen bullets. Junior only escapes a similar fate because the FBI arrest him first.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: Dr Melfi tells Tony that in his worst dreams, a duck flies off with his penis, symbolising castration. Tony relates sex dreams he has been having about his neighbour, Jean Cusamano. They are doing it doggy style and Tony climaxes. He describes Jean as having a big ass but Dr Melfi says that Jean is quite slender. Tony moves the conversation on to other topics.
Quote/Unquote: Jimmy Altieri asks Christopher whether he is wearing enough cologne: ‘You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died.’ Christopher extols the virtues of East European prostitutes: ‘Russian boo-boos, you go for some basic foreplay, they’ll detail your car.’ Dr Melfi tells Tony it has been a long odyssey with his mother. ‘These last five hundred years just seemed to race by,’ he replies. The FBI want Tony to hear some tapes, but he is unimpressed: ‘The Springsteen boxed set. I already got it.’ Tony ponders the twin causes of his problems: ‘Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.’ Tony tries to get back on topic while discussing sex dreams with Dr Melfi: ‘We got bigger things to talk about than Jean Cusamano’s ass.’ The FBI tells Junior they want New York mobsters Mangano and Teresi. ‘I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, see who gets lucky first,’ Junior says.
Soundtrack: ‘Inside of Me’ by Little Steven. ‘Woodcabin’ by Saint Etienne. ‘I’ll Remember April’ by Bobby Darin. ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ by Frankie Valli. ‘Rave On’ by Buddy Holly and The Crickets. 'El Gorrito' by Lucho Argain. 'Groove Me' by Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies. 'The Four Seasons (Andrea Parker Mix]' by Steve Reich.
Surveillance Report: Adriana is working two jobs to become a music manager. According to TV news reports, Mikey’s mob nickname was Grab Bag.
The Verdict: ‘I’m gonna live a nice long happy life, which is more than I can say for you.’ Tony takes revenge for the attempt on his life while the FBI swoops on Junior and several of the captains. The season finale is the big pay-off, where virtually all the major plotlines culminate in a gripping conclusion. David Chase’s script is dripping with great lines, the body count reaches an all-time high and Carmela resolves her issues with the religious predator, Father Phil. A great episode for regular viewers who get rewarded for their loyalty but probably too dense and self-referential for any casual watchers. The final scene emphasises the twin concerns of the show – the family and the Family. This episode was written as a grand finale if ‘The Sopranos’ was not renewed for a second series. This would cause some problems for the second season…
An over-elaborated metaphor for screenwriting
There's a spider in the bathroom. Come to think of it, there's probably a whole nest of spiders [spiders nest, right? Right]. But the biggest of the spiders has been sat in the bathroom since first thing yesterday morning, trying to climb up the sides of the bath. If I had to guess, I'd say the next is down the plughole, maybe in a side vent that links the main wste pipe with the overflow pipe. Not many spiders make it up the waste pipe into the bath. There's probably dozens of them down there, dreaming about getting up into the light, savouring the wide open expanses of the bath. How many of them try to climb up the waste pipe and don't make it? I don't know, because I never see them. Maybe they fall, maybe they give up, maybe they reach the top and find some bugger has put the plug in, maybe they get washed away when the bath is emptied. They had dreams but didn't make it past the first, gigantic obstacle.
You can see where I'm going with this, can't you?
Once the spiders make it up and out on to the bath, they find a vast plateau. It took guts and persistance and hard graft to get this far. They've had a breakthrough, they've achieved what some many others couldn't. Congratulations. But that was just one part of the journey. Now they've got to get out of the bath. And that's even harder. The sides are shiny and smooth and slippery. Just when you think you've gotten a good grip and are making progress, the slop gets too steep and you're liable to slide back down again. You can see all the possibilities that lay beyond the bath, but you can't touch them. YOu can even see a spider's web up in one corner of the ceiling, with a fat juicy fly stuck inside it. Find a way out of the bath and maybe you could enjoy that sort of success, a place of your own, with big fat opportunities coming to you. No more chasing your next payday, your next meal.
Of course, the life of another spider always looks easier when you're stuck in the bath. Think about all the work that spider in the web had to do to build that web, all the effort that goes into maintaining that web. From down in the bath, that looks easy, hell, they make it look effortless. Sure, maybe one day you'll have a web of your own and you'll be sitting pretty. But first you've got to climb out of the bath. And that'll take skill and talent and persistance and a bit of luck. You never know when somebody gonna turn on the taps. Once that happens, you'll be swept back down the plughole, back to where you started, maybe even further. Wipeout. So you don't get many shots and you've got to make your chance count, right? Right.
Hmm. Think I'll go help that spider get out of the bath. Everybody needs a helping hand every now and then, don't they?
You can see where I'm going with this, can't you?
Once the spiders make it up and out on to the bath, they find a vast plateau. It took guts and persistance and hard graft to get this far. They've had a breakthrough, they've achieved what some many others couldn't. Congratulations. But that was just one part of the journey. Now they've got to get out of the bath. And that's even harder. The sides are shiny and smooth and slippery. Just when you think you've gotten a good grip and are making progress, the slop gets too steep and you're liable to slide back down again. You can see all the possibilities that lay beyond the bath, but you can't touch them. YOu can even see a spider's web up in one corner of the ceiling, with a fat juicy fly stuck inside it. Find a way out of the bath and maybe you could enjoy that sort of success, a place of your own, with big fat opportunities coming to you. No more chasing your next payday, your next meal.
Of course, the life of another spider always looks easier when you're stuck in the bath. Think about all the work that spider in the web had to do to build that web, all the effort that goes into maintaining that web. From down in the bath, that looks easy, hell, they make it look effortless. Sure, maybe one day you'll have a web of your own and you'll be sitting pretty. But first you've got to climb out of the bath. And that'll take skill and talent and persistance and a bit of luck. You never know when somebody gonna turn on the taps. Once that happens, you'll be swept back down the plughole, back to where you started, maybe even further. Wipeout. So you don't get many shots and you've got to make your chance count, right? Right.
Hmm. Think I'll go help that spider get out of the bath. Everybody needs a helping hand every now and then, don't they?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Sopranos episode guide #12: Isabella
US Transmission Date: 28 March 1999
UK Transmission Date: 30 September 1999
Writer: Robin Green & Mitchell Burgess • Director: Allen Coulter
Cast: Maria Grazia Cucinotta (Isabella), John Eddins (John Clayborn), Touche (Rasheen Ray), Kareen Germain (Nurse), Johnathan Mondel (Boy), Jack O’Connell (Vendor), Katalin Pota (Lillian), Denise Richardson (Newscaster), Bittu Walia (Doctor), David Wike (Donnie Paduana)
Storyline: Christopher is worried about Tony, who sleeps during the day and seems depressed. Silvio dismisses this, saying all leaders have dark moods. Carmela tries to get Tony out of bed but he refuses to move. He’s taking both Lithium and Prozac. Carmela throws open the curtains when she leaves. Tony goes to close them and sees a beautiful woman in the backyard of the Cusamano house next door. Junior has a meeting with Mikey Palmice and Chucky Signore at a funeral home. Mikey says the hit on Tony will be made tomorrow by two black guys hired through an intermediary.
Next day Christopher visits Tony at home but his concerns are only made worse. Tony wanders out into the yard and discovers a silky camisole on the grass. He goes next door to the Cusamano’s and gives it to the beautiful woman there. She is a dental exchange student called Isabella who is looking after the house while the Cusamanos are in Bermuda playing golf. Christopher follows Tony to Montclair and inadvertently prevents the hit by parking in front of the two black guys, John Clayborn and Rasheen Ray. Afterwards Mikey and Chucky met with the intermediary, Donnie Paduana, to find out what went wrong. Donnie assures them the hit will happen the next day. He jokes about hearing Tony Soprano’s own mother wants him murdered. Mikey kills Paduana on orders from Junior, who has been watching the meeting from the back of a car nearby.
At a session Dr Melfi tells Tony that the combined prescription of Lithium and Prozac is to give his system a jolt, but he feels nothing. She suggests he check into a residential treatment centre but Tony refuses. Dr Melfi increases the dosage of Prozac. Outside the chemist Tony meets Isabella and takes her to lunch. While they talk about Italy Tony has a fantasy about Isabella nursing a baby. That night Livia comes to dinner at the Soprano’s, but Junior declines because he feels ill. Livia berates Tony for coming to the dinner table in his bathrobe and complains about her house being sold. Tony goes back upstairs.
Carmela catches Tony looking out the bedroom window at Isabella, and threatens to cut his penis off. Junior takes Livia to a film while the hit is going down. Tony goes to a news-stand to get orange juice and a racing form guide. He sees a black man approaching him with a handgun. The first bullet smashes Tony’s bottle of juice, the second takes out his window as Tony gets into his four-wheel drive. Tony grabs the gun arm of the shooter and keeps the barrel pointed away from himself. The second black man runs over and shoots through the passenger side window, accidentally killing his partner. Tony grabs the second shooter’s gun arm and starts driving away. The shooter falls to the road. Before Tony can enjoy his escape, he crashes into a parked vehicle.
At the hospital Tony gets stitches in his left ear but otherwise only has cuts and bruises. Carmela, Meadow and AJ rush to see him but Tony says he is fine and it was only an attempted car-jack. Carmela takes the children outside as FBI Agent Harris comes in. He offers Tony and the family immunity and relocation in return for any testimony. Agent Harris says nowhere will be safe for Tony now, the assassination problem will not go away. When Agent Harris has gone, Tony and Carmela argue about whether you accept the offer. Junior and Livia watch a TV news report of the failed hit. Junior panics but Livia decides they should go and visit Tony.
The family and Tony’s crew gather at the Soprano house. Christopher realises he prevented the hit the day before and believes Junior is responsible for ordering the attack. Junior and Livia arrive to see how Tony is. Carmela drives Tony to a roadside meeting at night with Dr Melfi. He relates the fantasy about Isabella and the baby. Dr Melfi believes Tony is fantasising about being nursed by Isabella. Tony sees Dr Cusamano is home and asks him about Isabella, but his neighbour doesn’t know what Tony is talking about. Carmela also has no memory of seeing Isabella or threatening to cut off his penis. Tony phones Dr Melfi to say that Isabella was just a fantasy, never real. His therapist tells him to discontinue the Lithium. She says the fantasy has meaning, he obviously craves a loving, caring mother figure – but why now?
Mamma Mia: At dinner Livia criticises Tony for his breath and his sensitivity to criticism. She says the whole world’s gone crazy and cites the case of a woman in Pennsylvania who shot her three children and set her house on fire. Livia dismisses Tony’s depression, complaining that she has been thrown into the glue factory and had her sold out from under her. She succeeds in driving Tony upstairs then bursts into tears, pledging never to come back to the house again. Waiting in line for the cinema with Junior, Livia compares Tony to her cousin Cakey after his lobotomy. She tries to justify the hit on Tony because he is empty, a shell. Better he be dead than go on living like that. Junior panics when he hears that Tony survived the hit but Livia reveals her true colours. ‘My son got shot. And he got away.’ She decides they must visit Tony and switches on the waterworks, because Tony is her only son. At Tony’s house Livia gets confused about Meadow’s identity, as if the first stages of senility were suddenly setting in. Later Junior confronts her about this and the terrific timing of her forgetfulness. She pleads ignorance.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Outside the chemist Isabella has a long filled roll. She asks Tony why it’s called a hero sandwich. He takes her to lunch but there is not food on their plates, only bread in a basket and white wine in their glasses. At the Soprano family dinner the food includes chicken with the usual pasta, salad and bread. AJ munches on a hero sandwich while he and Meadow wait for their father to be treated at the hospital. When Tony gets home Carmela has a finger food buffet for everyone, including slices of capiccola sausage, peppers and bagels.
Mobbed Up: Paulie alludes to the film ‘Cool Runnings’ when discussing the attempted hit with AJ and Meadow. ‘It would take more than a Jamaican bobsled team with cap guns to stop your old man.’
How Do You Feel?: Before the hit Tony tells Dr Melfi he feels nothing, dead, empty. He is King Midas in reverse, turning everything he touches to shit. He doesn’t want to live, but refuses being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. After the hit he feels pretty good. Tony says getting shot at gives you a nice kick start. When the attack came, he didn’t want to die. Every particle of him was fighting to live. When Tony tells Dr Melfi that Isabella was just a fantasy, she says it still has meaning. Melfi draws a link between Tony’s need for a loving , caring mother and Livia’s constant talk about infanticide. Tony says he feels pretty good but he’ll feel even better when he finds out who ordered the hit.
Sleeping With The Fishes: The corpses start piling up thick and fast in this episode. Donnie Paduana gets it first, executed by Mikey Palmice on Junior’s orders after joking that Livia Soprano wanted her own son murdered. John Clayborn is second, accidentally gunned down by his fellow assassin when they try to slay Tony Soprano.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: The entire Isabella plotline is an elaborate fantasy, apparently fuelled by Tony’s Lithium and Prozac prescriptions. This does not become clear until the final minutes of the episode, when Tony talks to Dr Cusamano. Tony even has a fantasy within a fantasy during his lunch with Isabella, daydreaming of her nursing him as a baby. This episode certainly has the highest level of fantasy and/or dream sequences up until #26 – ‘Funhouse’.
Quote/Unquote: Silvio cites Winston Churchill as an example of temperamental leaders: ‘Napoleon, he was a moody fuck too.’ Junior wonders why nobody collects prayer cards the way they collect baseball cards: ‘Thousands of bucks for Honus Wagner and jack shit for Jesus.’ Tony tells Carmela that he cannot testify because he took an oath of silence. ‘What are you, a kid in a treehouse?’ she replies. Tony ridicules joining the witness relocation programme: ‘You want to move to Utah, be Mr and Mrs Mike Smith? We can sell some Indian relics by the road. Maybe start a rattlesnake ranch. Have some Mormons over to dinner. East some tomatoes that have no taste.’ Meadow is appalled that her brother is more worried about trying to get out of going to dance than the recent attempt on their father’s life: ‘God, self involved much?’
Soundtrack: ‘Tiny Tears’ by Tindersticks. ‘Cry’ by Thornetta Davis. ‘Temptation Waits’ by Garbage. ‘I Feel Free’ by Cream. 'Milonga del Angel' by Al DiMeola. 'Ugly Stadium' by Tipsy.
Surveillance Report: Isabella is played by Maria Grazia Cucinotta, better known for her starring role in the film ‘Il Postino’.
The Verdict: ‘This fantasy of yours has meaning.’ Tony reaches his lowest ebb of depression but gets snapped out of it by an attempted assassination. This episode is a gripping instalment, building up to the hit and then showing its aftermath. Acting as a counterpoint to these mobster machinations is the Isabella fantasy, which is carried off brilliantly. The audience never suspecting that she is the product of Tony’s drug-addled senses. By the end of the episode, Tony and his crew have their suspicions about who ordered the hit – but no proof yet. Dr Melfi has her own suspicions. The proof of both theories is coming in the grand finale…
UK Transmission Date: 30 September 1999
Writer: Robin Green & Mitchell Burgess • Director: Allen Coulter
Cast: Maria Grazia Cucinotta (Isabella), John Eddins (John Clayborn), Touche (Rasheen Ray), Kareen Germain (Nurse), Johnathan Mondel (Boy), Jack O’Connell (Vendor), Katalin Pota (Lillian), Denise Richardson (Newscaster), Bittu Walia (Doctor), David Wike (Donnie Paduana)
Storyline: Christopher is worried about Tony, who sleeps during the day and seems depressed. Silvio dismisses this, saying all leaders have dark moods. Carmela tries to get Tony out of bed but he refuses to move. He’s taking both Lithium and Prozac. Carmela throws open the curtains when she leaves. Tony goes to close them and sees a beautiful woman in the backyard of the Cusamano house next door. Junior has a meeting with Mikey Palmice and Chucky Signore at a funeral home. Mikey says the hit on Tony will be made tomorrow by two black guys hired through an intermediary.
Next day Christopher visits Tony at home but his concerns are only made worse. Tony wanders out into the yard and discovers a silky camisole on the grass. He goes next door to the Cusamano’s and gives it to the beautiful woman there. She is a dental exchange student called Isabella who is looking after the house while the Cusamanos are in Bermuda playing golf. Christopher follows Tony to Montclair and inadvertently prevents the hit by parking in front of the two black guys, John Clayborn and Rasheen Ray. Afterwards Mikey and Chucky met with the intermediary, Donnie Paduana, to find out what went wrong. Donnie assures them the hit will happen the next day. He jokes about hearing Tony Soprano’s own mother wants him murdered. Mikey kills Paduana on orders from Junior, who has been watching the meeting from the back of a car nearby.
At a session Dr Melfi tells Tony that the combined prescription of Lithium and Prozac is to give his system a jolt, but he feels nothing. She suggests he check into a residential treatment centre but Tony refuses. Dr Melfi increases the dosage of Prozac. Outside the chemist Tony meets Isabella and takes her to lunch. While they talk about Italy Tony has a fantasy about Isabella nursing a baby. That night Livia comes to dinner at the Soprano’s, but Junior declines because he feels ill. Livia berates Tony for coming to the dinner table in his bathrobe and complains about her house being sold. Tony goes back upstairs.
Carmela catches Tony looking out the bedroom window at Isabella, and threatens to cut his penis off. Junior takes Livia to a film while the hit is going down. Tony goes to a news-stand to get orange juice and a racing form guide. He sees a black man approaching him with a handgun. The first bullet smashes Tony’s bottle of juice, the second takes out his window as Tony gets into his four-wheel drive. Tony grabs the gun arm of the shooter and keeps the barrel pointed away from himself. The second black man runs over and shoots through the passenger side window, accidentally killing his partner. Tony grabs the second shooter’s gun arm and starts driving away. The shooter falls to the road. Before Tony can enjoy his escape, he crashes into a parked vehicle.
At the hospital Tony gets stitches in his left ear but otherwise only has cuts and bruises. Carmela, Meadow and AJ rush to see him but Tony says he is fine and it was only an attempted car-jack. Carmela takes the children outside as FBI Agent Harris comes in. He offers Tony and the family immunity and relocation in return for any testimony. Agent Harris says nowhere will be safe for Tony now, the assassination problem will not go away. When Agent Harris has gone, Tony and Carmela argue about whether you accept the offer. Junior and Livia watch a TV news report of the failed hit. Junior panics but Livia decides they should go and visit Tony.
The family and Tony’s crew gather at the Soprano house. Christopher realises he prevented the hit the day before and believes Junior is responsible for ordering the attack. Junior and Livia arrive to see how Tony is. Carmela drives Tony to a roadside meeting at night with Dr Melfi. He relates the fantasy about Isabella and the baby. Dr Melfi believes Tony is fantasising about being nursed by Isabella. Tony sees Dr Cusamano is home and asks him about Isabella, but his neighbour doesn’t know what Tony is talking about. Carmela also has no memory of seeing Isabella or threatening to cut off his penis. Tony phones Dr Melfi to say that Isabella was just a fantasy, never real. His therapist tells him to discontinue the Lithium. She says the fantasy has meaning, he obviously craves a loving, caring mother figure – but why now?
Mamma Mia: At dinner Livia criticises Tony for his breath and his sensitivity to criticism. She says the whole world’s gone crazy and cites the case of a woman in Pennsylvania who shot her three children and set her house on fire. Livia dismisses Tony’s depression, complaining that she has been thrown into the glue factory and had her sold out from under her. She succeeds in driving Tony upstairs then bursts into tears, pledging never to come back to the house again. Waiting in line for the cinema with Junior, Livia compares Tony to her cousin Cakey after his lobotomy. She tries to justify the hit on Tony because he is empty, a shell. Better he be dead than go on living like that. Junior panics when he hears that Tony survived the hit but Livia reveals her true colours. ‘My son got shot. And he got away.’ She decides they must visit Tony and switches on the waterworks, because Tony is her only son. At Tony’s house Livia gets confused about Meadow’s identity, as if the first stages of senility were suddenly setting in. Later Junior confronts her about this and the terrific timing of her forgetfulness. She pleads ignorance.
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Outside the chemist Isabella has a long filled roll. She asks Tony why it’s called a hero sandwich. He takes her to lunch but there is not food on their plates, only bread in a basket and white wine in their glasses. At the Soprano family dinner the food includes chicken with the usual pasta, salad and bread. AJ munches on a hero sandwich while he and Meadow wait for their father to be treated at the hospital. When Tony gets home Carmela has a finger food buffet for everyone, including slices of capiccola sausage, peppers and bagels.
Mobbed Up: Paulie alludes to the film ‘Cool Runnings’ when discussing the attempted hit with AJ and Meadow. ‘It would take more than a Jamaican bobsled team with cap guns to stop your old man.’
How Do You Feel?: Before the hit Tony tells Dr Melfi he feels nothing, dead, empty. He is King Midas in reverse, turning everything he touches to shit. He doesn’t want to live, but refuses being admitted to a psychiatric hospital. After the hit he feels pretty good. Tony says getting shot at gives you a nice kick start. When the attack came, he didn’t want to die. Every particle of him was fighting to live. When Tony tells Dr Melfi that Isabella was just a fantasy, she says it still has meaning. Melfi draws a link between Tony’s need for a loving , caring mother and Livia’s constant talk about infanticide. Tony says he feels pretty good but he’ll feel even better when he finds out who ordered the hit.
Sleeping With The Fishes: The corpses start piling up thick and fast in this episode. Donnie Paduana gets it first, executed by Mikey Palmice on Junior’s orders after joking that Livia Soprano wanted her own son murdered. John Clayborn is second, accidentally gunned down by his fellow assassin when they try to slay Tony Soprano.
I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano: The entire Isabella plotline is an elaborate fantasy, apparently fuelled by Tony’s Lithium and Prozac prescriptions. This does not become clear until the final minutes of the episode, when Tony talks to Dr Cusamano. Tony even has a fantasy within a fantasy during his lunch with Isabella, daydreaming of her nursing him as a baby. This episode certainly has the highest level of fantasy and/or dream sequences up until #26 – ‘Funhouse’.
Quote/Unquote: Silvio cites Winston Churchill as an example of temperamental leaders: ‘Napoleon, he was a moody fuck too.’ Junior wonders why nobody collects prayer cards the way they collect baseball cards: ‘Thousands of bucks for Honus Wagner and jack shit for Jesus.’ Tony tells Carmela that he cannot testify because he took an oath of silence. ‘What are you, a kid in a treehouse?’ she replies. Tony ridicules joining the witness relocation programme: ‘You want to move to Utah, be Mr and Mrs Mike Smith? We can sell some Indian relics by the road. Maybe start a rattlesnake ranch. Have some Mormons over to dinner. East some tomatoes that have no taste.’ Meadow is appalled that her brother is more worried about trying to get out of going to dance than the recent attempt on their father’s life: ‘God, self involved much?’
Soundtrack: ‘Tiny Tears’ by Tindersticks. ‘Cry’ by Thornetta Davis. ‘Temptation Waits’ by Garbage. ‘I Feel Free’ by Cream. 'Milonga del Angel' by Al DiMeola. 'Ugly Stadium' by Tipsy.
Surveillance Report: Isabella is played by Maria Grazia Cucinotta, better known for her starring role in the film ‘Il Postino’.
The Verdict: ‘This fantasy of yours has meaning.’ Tony reaches his lowest ebb of depression but gets snapped out of it by an attempted assassination. This episode is a gripping instalment, building up to the hit and then showing its aftermath. Acting as a counterpoint to these mobster machinations is the Isabella fantasy, which is carried off brilliantly. The audience never suspecting that she is the product of Tony’s drug-addled senses. By the end of the episode, Tony and his crew have their suspicions about who ordered the hit – but no proof yet. Dr Melfi has her own suspicions. The proof of both theories is coming in the grand finale…
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is 30 today
More accurately, Sarah Michelle Geller - the actress who played Buffy the Vampire Slayer for seven seasons on American TV - is 30 today. Like the rest of us mere mortals, she'll only ever get older, but Buffy lives on in repeats, DVD box sets and now her own ongoing comic book. Dark Horse has launched season 8 of Buffy was a comic, with scripts and guidance from the character's creator, Joss Whedon. Best of all, the new launch is a big, fat hit, selling more than 100,000 copies of the first issue in specialist comic stores across the Atlantic. That may not sound like much, but it earns Buffy a place in the Top 10 comics for March and it's the first time a comic not published by Marvel or DC has hit the Top 10 for four years. Proof that comics needn't only be men in tights and lycra hurting each other and shouting.
Get yours claws into Axonite, dragons!
There's an outside possibility that tonight's new episode of Doctor Who may get bumped from the schedules if the FA Cup semi-final match between Manchester United and Watford goes into extra time [unlikely, I know, but all things are possible]. In case of emergency, watch this rather droll confluence of classic Doctor Who and entrepreneur-baiting bearpit series The Dragon's Den...
The difficulties of nailing the dismount
Endings are crucial. Create an emotionally satisfying ending for your story and the audience often forgive any flaws in what comes before. Conversely, fumble your ending and the audience departs your tale with a bad taste in their mouths. I haven't see the new film by director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland, but everyone review I've seen for Sunshine expresses disappointment with the ending. There's a sense that the movie comes apart when it reaches the climax, the big finish.
Life on Mars finished this week and I was happy with the conclusion crafted by writer Matthew Graham. Others have been left dissatisfied, or simply scratching their heads, cheated because the finale didn't match or exceed their expectations. Creating a great ending is that tricky balancing act of coming up with a conclusion that's both surprising and yet, in retrospect, inevitable. You give the audience want its wants, even if they're not sure what that was before it happened. [Mark Lawson has some interesting thoughts about this in a posting on the Guardian's website, though you may need registration to read them.]
Over in America the series Friday Night Lights finished its first season. There's still no definite word on whether the drama will be back for another batch of 22 episodes come the autumn, so the programme makers had to deliver a satisfying ending while also leaving enough loose threads in case they get a chance to continue the story later this year. I liked the final episode and didn't guess what was going to happen, but can't see how the show could easily progress from where it is now in a story sense. All of FNL pivots on a particular character, and if there is a season two, that character will be based miles away from everyone else. Oh well, it's not problem to resolve. I've got my fingers crossed there'll at least be a DVD set of season one released soon.
Nailing the dismount also came up on a DVD I watched this week, when Amazon finally delivered my boxed set of all 10 Star Treks films. I'll probably never bother watching the odd-numbered films, but the whole set was only £40 quid, so I ordered it anyway [back in January, when I still had money, natch]. The special features on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan detail how the film was changed to leave the door open for resurrecting the character of Spock, after the original version played like a funeral in test screenings. A few minor tweaks, a change of voiceover at the end of the movie and a franchise-killing bomb was transformed, resurrecting Trek from the grave. Director Nicholas Meyer seems less than chuffed by the changes, but puts his hand up to the fact they made everybody a lot more money. Welcome to Hollywood.
There are plenty of successful novelists who start writing a new book with no idea of where it's going to end - among them Stephen King. I call this the Journey of Discovery method. Talented, experienced writers who've learned to trust their storytelling instincts will find a way to the ending their story deserves. The danger for people who don't have that level of talent, craft and sharply honed instinct is they'll simply get lost and give up the journey. Or perhaps a story, theme and charactes will emerge along the way, but massive rewriting will be required to hone all of these into a more gripping, punchy narrative.
Experience has shown me I need to know where I'm going or I'll get utterly lost. I have to know my ending, my destination before I start. It's also helpful if I've got a handful of places where I can stop en route, knowing they'll help keep me going in roughly the right direction. I describe this the Road Map method of writing. That doesn't mean I don't take detours, short cuts or side trips - follow your route map [or synopsis] slavishly is liable to crush the spontaneity from your story. If what you're writing is boring you, what effect will it have on your audience?
Film and TV drama requires writers to spend a lot of time upfront, developing their plot, characters and themes. If somebody's going to spend hundreds of thousands or millions of their money turnign your script into a TV show or movie, they'll want to know how it ends before they start! On the DVD commentary for State of Play, Paul Abbott said that project was the first time he'd started writting a series without knowing the ending. He wanted to keep himself guessing, just as he wanted to keep the audience guessing. Of course, Abott's a vastly experienced writer, so that doesn't hurt - and I'm sure there were plenty of rewrites along the way.
The Oscar-winning screenwriter William Goldman suggests up to sixty per cent of your time in creating a story for the screen should be devoted to thought, research and preparation. Only ten percent of your time is spent writing the first draft, while the other thirty per cent is rewriting, polishing the rough diamond you've unearthed in that first draft. I don't think you should apply those exact percentages to novel writing, but it shows how much time and thought needs to go into any kind of extended storytelling before you write the first line of dialogue.
I write the first draft of a novel as fast as I possibly can, to keep the narrative, characters and themes fresh in my thoughts. I can bash out my first at a 95,000 word novel in five or six weeks. That sounds fast, when other writers will spend an entire day producing 500 words of purple prose. But I'll have spent months thinking about the story, the characters - plotting and planning, deciding what I want to say in the novel. The physical act of writing, often that's the easiest part. Especially if you know you've got a crackerjack ending on which to finish. There's nothing better than typing THE END or FADE OUT, knowing you've nailed the dismount.
Life on Mars finished this week and I was happy with the conclusion crafted by writer Matthew Graham. Others have been left dissatisfied, or simply scratching their heads, cheated because the finale didn't match or exceed their expectations. Creating a great ending is that tricky balancing act of coming up with a conclusion that's both surprising and yet, in retrospect, inevitable. You give the audience want its wants, even if they're not sure what that was before it happened. [Mark Lawson has some interesting thoughts about this in a posting on the Guardian's website, though you may need registration to read them.]
Over in America the series Friday Night Lights finished its first season. There's still no definite word on whether the drama will be back for another batch of 22 episodes come the autumn, so the programme makers had to deliver a satisfying ending while also leaving enough loose threads in case they get a chance to continue the story later this year. I liked the final episode and didn't guess what was going to happen, but can't see how the show could easily progress from where it is now in a story sense. All of FNL pivots on a particular character, and if there is a season two, that character will be based miles away from everyone else. Oh well, it's not problem to resolve. I've got my fingers crossed there'll at least be a DVD set of season one released soon.
Nailing the dismount also came up on a DVD I watched this week, when Amazon finally delivered my boxed set of all 10 Star Treks films. I'll probably never bother watching the odd-numbered films, but the whole set was only £40 quid, so I ordered it anyway [back in January, when I still had money, natch]. The special features on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan detail how the film was changed to leave the door open for resurrecting the character of Spock, after the original version played like a funeral in test screenings. A few minor tweaks, a change of voiceover at the end of the movie and a franchise-killing bomb was transformed, resurrecting Trek from the grave. Director Nicholas Meyer seems less than chuffed by the changes, but puts his hand up to the fact they made everybody a lot more money. Welcome to Hollywood.
There are plenty of successful novelists who start writing a new book with no idea of where it's going to end - among them Stephen King. I call this the Journey of Discovery method. Talented, experienced writers who've learned to trust their storytelling instincts will find a way to the ending their story deserves. The danger for people who don't have that level of talent, craft and sharply honed instinct is they'll simply get lost and give up the journey. Or perhaps a story, theme and charactes will emerge along the way, but massive rewriting will be required to hone all of these into a more gripping, punchy narrative.
Experience has shown me I need to know where I'm going or I'll get utterly lost. I have to know my ending, my destination before I start. It's also helpful if I've got a handful of places where I can stop en route, knowing they'll help keep me going in roughly the right direction. I describe this the Road Map method of writing. That doesn't mean I don't take detours, short cuts or side trips - follow your route map [or synopsis] slavishly is liable to crush the spontaneity from your story. If what you're writing is boring you, what effect will it have on your audience?
Film and TV drama requires writers to spend a lot of time upfront, developing their plot, characters and themes. If somebody's going to spend hundreds of thousands or millions of their money turnign your script into a TV show or movie, they'll want to know how it ends before they start! On the DVD commentary for State of Play, Paul Abbott said that project was the first time he'd started writting a series without knowing the ending. He wanted to keep himself guessing, just as he wanted to keep the audience guessing. Of course, Abott's a vastly experienced writer, so that doesn't hurt - and I'm sure there were plenty of rewrites along the way.
The Oscar-winning screenwriter William Goldman suggests up to sixty per cent of your time in creating a story for the screen should be devoted to thought, research and preparation. Only ten percent of your time is spent writing the first draft, while the other thirty per cent is rewriting, polishing the rough diamond you've unearthed in that first draft. I don't think you should apply those exact percentages to novel writing, but it shows how much time and thought needs to go into any kind of extended storytelling before you write the first line of dialogue.
I write the first draft of a novel as fast as I possibly can, to keep the narrative, characters and themes fresh in my thoughts. I can bash out my first at a 95,000 word novel in five or six weeks. That sounds fast, when other writers will spend an entire day producing 500 words of purple prose. But I'll have spent months thinking about the story, the characters - plotting and planning, deciding what I want to say in the novel. The physical act of writing, often that's the easiest part. Especially if you know you've got a crackerjack ending on which to finish. There's nothing better than typing THE END or FADE OUT, knowing you've nailed the dismount.
Sopranos episode guide #11: Nobody Knows Anything
US Transmission Date: 21 March 1999
UK Transmission Date: 23 September 1999
Writer: Frank Renzulli • Director: Henry J. Bronchtein
Cast: Karen Sillas (Debbie), Giancarlo ‘John’ Giunta (Kevin Bonpensiero), Doug Barron (Dr. Mop-N-Glo), Veronica Bero (Girl), Britt Burr (Traffic Cop), Ramsey Faragallah (Fed #1), Bobby Rivers (Male Anchor), Matthew Lawler (Fed #2), Chance Kelly (Fed #3), Tim Kirkpatrick (Detective #1), Peter Bretz (Detective #2)
Storyline: Tony, Paulie and Pussy are enjoying a visit to a high class brothel when Pussy injures his back. Their departure is watched by Detective Vin Makasian. Four days later the FBI raid a property rented by Jimmy Altieri. They catch Jimmy, Pussy and two others gambling at cards. A search reveals a pool table full of guns. Pussy tries to escape but is easily caught and arrested. He is soon bailed out by his wife. Detective Makasian tells Tony that Pussy is wearing a wire for law enforcement agencies. Bonpensiero was facing a mandatory life sentence for dealing heroin and cut a deal. Tony is stunned and demands to see the 302 report as proof of Pussy’s complicity.
The Sopranos hold an open house party. Pussy refuses to help shift a piano because of his back. Tony asks Paulie and Christopher to keep a watch on Pussy. Paulie says an eminent back doctor thought Pussy’s back problems were psychological, rather than physical. Tony asks Dr Melfi whether physical problems could cause such symptoms. She says a heavy burden of responsibility could be responsible, but secrets also bring a heavy load of guilt. Tony meets with Makasian at the brothel but the detective has no further proof about Pussy. Makasian uses the brothel as a refuge from the world.
Tony goes to see Pussy at home. Pussy hints that things are happening. Tony offers him a chance to come clean but Pussy says nothing. Afterwards Tony shares his suspicions with a shocked Paulie, who offers to whack Pussy. Tony makes him vow not to make the hit unless Paulie sees the wire. Tony drops off some CDs for his mother with Bonnie DiCaprio at Green Grove. He also leaves a message from Livia’s house sale is going through. Paulie takes Pussy for a steam and sauna but Pussy refuses to get undressed. He says the doctors warned him away from heat. Silvio tells Tony that Makasian owes Pussy $30,000 from gambling and loans, sufficient motivation to lie about Pussy being a government informant. Tony is still not sure – he wants absolute proof.
A police raid on the brothel snares Detective Makasian and mob captain Raymond Curto. Makasian is released and put on administrative leave. He drives to the Route One bridge and jumps off. Tony hears of the detective’s suicide, which stymies efforts to discover the truth about Pussy. Tony visits Debbie, the madam at the brothel. She says Makasian didn’t have much to say about Tony and his crew, except he wasn’t worried about the money he owed. Makasian trusted Tony, Debbie says. Junior visits Livia, who is upset that Tony has sold her house. She mentions that the captains are holding secret meetings at Green Grove. She says Larry Boy Barese and Jimmy Altieri have bother shifted their mothers into the retirement community. She also lets slip that Johnny Sack from New York has been at the meetings and ventures that perhaps the captains are talking about Junior behind his back. Junior is outraged and believes Tony is organising a move against him.
Jimmy gets out on bail and visits Tony. He asks a lot of pointed questions about the hit on the Colombian drug dealer and its proceeds. Tony realises that something is wrong and becomes evasive in his answers. Once Jimmy has gone, Tony rushes to the office at Satriale’s Pork Store. Tony tells Silvio that Jimmy is the rat, not Pussy. Paulie arrives and Tony demands to know if the hit on Pussy has happened. Paulie says it hasn’t. Nobody knows where Pussy has gone. Chucky Signore delivers a stolen microwave oven to Mikey and JoJo Palmice. He says Junior is going ahead with the hit on Tony and they are to look out of town for the killers…
Mobspeak: Pussy complains that the FBI robbed him of four dimes ($4000). Detective Makasian says Pussy is wired for sound (wearing a surveillance device to record conversations). Mikey Palmice tells his wife that Junior is old school (a gangster who respects and follows the rules and oaths of being a mobster).
Mamma Mia: Livia refuses to attend the open house party, as she does every year. Tony calls this negative attention getting. Next day Carmela visits Livia at Green Grove and asks her mother-in-law to stop manipulating Tony with emotional blackmail. Livia pleads ignorance. She has no friends, she’s been abandoned and this would never have happened when her husband was alive. ‘Johnny was a saint’ Livia says, sobbing into her ever-present handkerchief. Carmela says it’s good that Junior comes to visit but Livia takes umbrage at any suggestion of a relationship between herself and her brother-in-law. However, she says having someone who will listen gives her some purpose in life. Livia puts that someone to good use when Junior comes to visit. She weeps about Tony selling her home but Junior isn’t very sympathetic. Livia tries another tactic, casually revealing Tony’s secret meetings at Green Grove with the other captains and Johnny Sack from the New York mob. She even hints that they are discussing Junior. He is outraged, seeing this as a move against him. He has to act against Tony, even though they are blood relations. Livia has gotten her revenge against her son…
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela serves a finger food buffet when the Sopranos have their open house party. Next day Carmela takes a ricotta pie made with low fat cheese to Livia, but the old woman turns her nose up at it. Carmela leaves it so Junior can have some when he next visits Livia. Tony goes to Pussy at his home, bringing a box of cannoli from Spirelli’s. Carmela cooks the family a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and syrup. When Jimmy visits after getting out on bail, Tony, Carmela and AJ are eating lasagne, salad and bread. Jimmy declines joining them for dinner. Chucky brings Mikey and JoJo a microwave oven. JoJo has prepared bowls of salad and brews some coffee.
Mobbed Up: Paulie’s car horn plays the theme music from ‘The Godfather’.
How Do You Feel?: Tony says he feels like someone walking down the street and looking up, worried that a safe is going to land on their head. Dr Melfi suggests this is a feeling of pending doom.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Detective Vin Makasian, who commits suicide by jumping off the Route One bridge. He clips his detective’s badge onto the breast pocket of his suit before jumping.
Quote/Unquote: Paulie describes the different assessments Pussy has had on his back: ‘MRIs, cat scans, dog scans, you name it.’ Paulie says he must be dreaming when Tony tells him Pussy is wearing a wire. ‘Get used to it. I’ve been walking into walls all week.’ Tony reveals his attitude to sexual discussions with his children at breakfast: ‘Out there it’s the 1990s, but in this house it’s 1954.’ When Mikey Palmice tells his dim wife JoJo that Tony Soprano is on his way out and forever, she asks if Tony is going to jail. ‘No, the other forever.’
Soundtrack: ‘Micky’s Monkey’ by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. ‘Lick It Up’ by J. Evans Quarter. ‘Manifold de Amour’ by Latin Playboys. 'It's Bad You Know' by R.L. Burnside. My Heart's Hangin' Heavy' by Johnny Adams. 'Slide Slide' by The Hotheads. 'The Highs Are Too High' by Johnette Paolitano. 'Walking on a Tightrope' by Johnny Adams.
Surveillance Report: There is a caption after the opening scene, to indicate that four days have passed. The manager at Green Grove, Bonnie DiCaprio, sits in a comedically low chair which means her head and shoulders only just get above the level of her desk. Tony brings his mothers CDs of half-ass tenors.
The Verdict: ‘Things are happening, Tony.’ Someone in the Family is wearing a wire for the feds and suspicion falls on Pussy. Meanwhile Livia goads Junior into ordering a hit on her own son. After the detour episode ‘A Hit Is A Hit’, the season hits the accelerator and surges towards its bloody climax. Livia reveals just how far she is willing to go to punish her own children, forcing Junior into an action he doesn’t want to take. Detective Makasian takes his leave, but not before dropping a bombshell about Pussy. The impact of that news will resonate all through Season Two. This is a cracker as the heat gets turned up on Tony and his crew. Just as the three episodes immediately after the pilot episodes were a trilogy, so this begins a three-part endgame to Season One.
UK Transmission Date: 23 September 1999
Writer: Frank Renzulli • Director: Henry J. Bronchtein
Cast: Karen Sillas (Debbie), Giancarlo ‘John’ Giunta (Kevin Bonpensiero), Doug Barron (Dr. Mop-N-Glo), Veronica Bero (Girl), Britt Burr (Traffic Cop), Ramsey Faragallah (Fed #1), Bobby Rivers (Male Anchor), Matthew Lawler (Fed #2), Chance Kelly (Fed #3), Tim Kirkpatrick (Detective #1), Peter Bretz (Detective #2)
Storyline: Tony, Paulie and Pussy are enjoying a visit to a high class brothel when Pussy injures his back. Their departure is watched by Detective Vin Makasian. Four days later the FBI raid a property rented by Jimmy Altieri. They catch Jimmy, Pussy and two others gambling at cards. A search reveals a pool table full of guns. Pussy tries to escape but is easily caught and arrested. He is soon bailed out by his wife. Detective Makasian tells Tony that Pussy is wearing a wire for law enforcement agencies. Bonpensiero was facing a mandatory life sentence for dealing heroin and cut a deal. Tony is stunned and demands to see the 302 report as proof of Pussy’s complicity.
The Sopranos hold an open house party. Pussy refuses to help shift a piano because of his back. Tony asks Paulie and Christopher to keep a watch on Pussy. Paulie says an eminent back doctor thought Pussy’s back problems were psychological, rather than physical. Tony asks Dr Melfi whether physical problems could cause such symptoms. She says a heavy burden of responsibility could be responsible, but secrets also bring a heavy load of guilt. Tony meets with Makasian at the brothel but the detective has no further proof about Pussy. Makasian uses the brothel as a refuge from the world.
Tony goes to see Pussy at home. Pussy hints that things are happening. Tony offers him a chance to come clean but Pussy says nothing. Afterwards Tony shares his suspicions with a shocked Paulie, who offers to whack Pussy. Tony makes him vow not to make the hit unless Paulie sees the wire. Tony drops off some CDs for his mother with Bonnie DiCaprio at Green Grove. He also leaves a message from Livia’s house sale is going through. Paulie takes Pussy for a steam and sauna but Pussy refuses to get undressed. He says the doctors warned him away from heat. Silvio tells Tony that Makasian owes Pussy $30,000 from gambling and loans, sufficient motivation to lie about Pussy being a government informant. Tony is still not sure – he wants absolute proof.
A police raid on the brothel snares Detective Makasian and mob captain Raymond Curto. Makasian is released and put on administrative leave. He drives to the Route One bridge and jumps off. Tony hears of the detective’s suicide, which stymies efforts to discover the truth about Pussy. Tony visits Debbie, the madam at the brothel. She says Makasian didn’t have much to say about Tony and his crew, except he wasn’t worried about the money he owed. Makasian trusted Tony, Debbie says. Junior visits Livia, who is upset that Tony has sold her house. She mentions that the captains are holding secret meetings at Green Grove. She says Larry Boy Barese and Jimmy Altieri have bother shifted their mothers into the retirement community. She also lets slip that Johnny Sack from New York has been at the meetings and ventures that perhaps the captains are talking about Junior behind his back. Junior is outraged and believes Tony is organising a move against him.
Jimmy gets out on bail and visits Tony. He asks a lot of pointed questions about the hit on the Colombian drug dealer and its proceeds. Tony realises that something is wrong and becomes evasive in his answers. Once Jimmy has gone, Tony rushes to the office at Satriale’s Pork Store. Tony tells Silvio that Jimmy is the rat, not Pussy. Paulie arrives and Tony demands to know if the hit on Pussy has happened. Paulie says it hasn’t. Nobody knows where Pussy has gone. Chucky Signore delivers a stolen microwave oven to Mikey and JoJo Palmice. He says Junior is going ahead with the hit on Tony and they are to look out of town for the killers…
Mobspeak: Pussy complains that the FBI robbed him of four dimes ($4000). Detective Makasian says Pussy is wired for sound (wearing a surveillance device to record conversations). Mikey Palmice tells his wife that Junior is old school (a gangster who respects and follows the rules and oaths of being a mobster).
Mamma Mia: Livia refuses to attend the open house party, as she does every year. Tony calls this negative attention getting. Next day Carmela visits Livia at Green Grove and asks her mother-in-law to stop manipulating Tony with emotional blackmail. Livia pleads ignorance. She has no friends, she’s been abandoned and this would never have happened when her husband was alive. ‘Johnny was a saint’ Livia says, sobbing into her ever-present handkerchief. Carmela says it’s good that Junior comes to visit but Livia takes umbrage at any suggestion of a relationship between herself and her brother-in-law. However, she says having someone who will listen gives her some purpose in life. Livia puts that someone to good use when Junior comes to visit. She weeps about Tony selling her home but Junior isn’t very sympathetic. Livia tries another tactic, casually revealing Tony’s secret meetings at Green Grove with the other captains and Johnny Sack from the New York mob. She even hints that they are discussing Junior. He is outraged, seeing this as a move against him. He has to act against Tony, even though they are blood relations. Livia has gotten her revenge against her son…
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Carmela serves a finger food buffet when the Sopranos have their open house party. Next day Carmela takes a ricotta pie made with low fat cheese to Livia, but the old woman turns her nose up at it. Carmela leaves it so Junior can have some when he next visits Livia. Tony goes to Pussy at his home, bringing a box of cannoli from Spirelli’s. Carmela cooks the family a breakfast of pancakes, bacon and syrup. When Jimmy visits after getting out on bail, Tony, Carmela and AJ are eating lasagne, salad and bread. Jimmy declines joining them for dinner. Chucky brings Mikey and JoJo a microwave oven. JoJo has prepared bowls of salad and brews some coffee.
Mobbed Up: Paulie’s car horn plays the theme music from ‘The Godfather’.
How Do You Feel?: Tony says he feels like someone walking down the street and looking up, worried that a safe is going to land on their head. Dr Melfi suggests this is a feeling of pending doom.
Sleeping With The Fishes: Detective Vin Makasian, who commits suicide by jumping off the Route One bridge. He clips his detective’s badge onto the breast pocket of his suit before jumping.
Quote/Unquote: Paulie describes the different assessments Pussy has had on his back: ‘MRIs, cat scans, dog scans, you name it.’ Paulie says he must be dreaming when Tony tells him Pussy is wearing a wire. ‘Get used to it. I’ve been walking into walls all week.’ Tony reveals his attitude to sexual discussions with his children at breakfast: ‘Out there it’s the 1990s, but in this house it’s 1954.’ When Mikey Palmice tells his dim wife JoJo that Tony Soprano is on his way out and forever, she asks if Tony is going to jail. ‘No, the other forever.’
Soundtrack: ‘Micky’s Monkey’ by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. ‘Lick It Up’ by J. Evans Quarter. ‘Manifold de Amour’ by Latin Playboys. 'It's Bad You Know' by R.L. Burnside. My Heart's Hangin' Heavy' by Johnny Adams. 'Slide Slide' by The Hotheads. 'The Highs Are Too High' by Johnette Paolitano. 'Walking on a Tightrope' by Johnny Adams.
Surveillance Report: There is a caption after the opening scene, to indicate that four days have passed. The manager at Green Grove, Bonnie DiCaprio, sits in a comedically low chair which means her head and shoulders only just get above the level of her desk. Tony brings his mothers CDs of half-ass tenors.
The Verdict: ‘Things are happening, Tony.’ Someone in the Family is wearing a wire for the feds and suspicion falls on Pussy. Meanwhile Livia goads Junior into ordering a hit on her own son. After the detour episode ‘A Hit Is A Hit’, the season hits the accelerator and surges towards its bloody climax. Livia reveals just how far she is willing to go to punish her own children, forcing Junior into an action he doesn’t want to take. Detective Makasian takes his leave, but not before dropping a bombshell about Pussy. The impact of that news will resonate all through Season Two. This is a cracker as the heat gets turned up on Tony and his crew. Just as the three episodes immediately after the pilot episodes were a trilogy, so this begins a three-part endgame to Season One.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Vonnegut's Eight Rules of Writing Fiction
Acclaimed author Kurt Vonnegut died this week, and is being much remembered and appreciated by numerous people at numerous blogs. [Check out James Moran's tribute to the great man for a good example.] I always think it's a shame we often wait until after somebody dies to express our appreciaton for them, but I guess that's human nature - you only miss something when it's gone. Over at Jane Espenson's excellent screenwriting blog, she's quoted an extract from Vonnegut's Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999). In it the author outlined eight rules for writing fiction. Frankly, they're good guidelines for almost any kind of storytelling, although I might quibble with number 8.
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages. -- Kurt Vonnegut
Sopranos episode guide #10: A Hit is a Hit
US Transmission Date: 14 March 1999
UK Transmission Date: 16 September 1999
Writer: Joe Bosso and Frank Renzulli • Director: Matthew Penn
Cast: Bokeem Woodbine (Massive Genius), Bryan Hicks (Orange J.), Nick Fowler (Richie Santini), Gregg Wattenberg (Vito), Chris Gibson (Bass Player), Ned Stroh (Drummer), Bray Poor (Squid), Robert Lupone (Dr. Bruce Cusamano), Jim Demarse (Jack Krim), James Weston (Randy Wagner), Phil Cocciletti (Eric), Terumi Matthews (Rita), Dan Morse (Mullethead), Alexandra Neil (Wendy Krim), Ken Prymus (Manager), Saundra Santiago (Jean Cusamano), Jessy Terrero (Gallegos), Elizabeth Ann Townsend (Barb Wagner), Cedric Turner (Police Officer)
Storyline: Paulie, Christopher and Pussy surprise a drug dealer who has been trespassing on Soprano territory. They net thousands of dollars in cash from the hit, which they share with Tony. Tony gives a box of illegal Cuban cigars to his neighbour Dr Cusamano as a thank you for the referral to Dr Melfi. In return Cusamano invites Tony to play with some friends at their private golf club. Christopher takes Adriana to a Broadway show. On the way home they stop for burgers and meet gangster rapper mogul Massive Genius. He invites them to a party at his house. There he asks Christopher to arrive a meeting for him with Hesh about some outstanding royalties owed to a relative of Massive.
Tony and Carmela are invited to a barbeque by neighbour Barbara Wagner. Carmela worries about how she could pay for Meadow’s college education if something should happen to Tony. Adriana wants to get into music management. She is friends with the lead singer of a band formerly known as Defiler. Adriana wonders if Massive Genius would help. Christopher agrees to bankroll Adriana’s new career. Massive Genius and his crew meet with Hesh, Tony and his crew at Hesh’s stud farm. Massive wants Hesh to pay $400,000 in reparations to the surviving relatives of a dead singer called Little Jimmy Willis, who had hits on Hesh’s F-Note Records in 1950s and 1960s. Dr Melfi goes to a dinner party held by the Cusamanos, where the Sopranos are a major topic of conversation.
Adriana and Christopher take Massive to see Defiler – now renamed as Visiting Day – in concert. The gangster rapper says he’s interested, but his interest mainly seems to be in Adriana. Tony and Carmela go to the barbeque at the Wagner’s house. Tony is frozen out of conversations by the men but Carmela picks up a stock market tip. Christopher pays for Visiting Day to make a demo CD but the sessions are troubled. Christopher tries to get lead singer Richie back on drugs to enhance his performance, then smashes a guitar over Richie’s back. Carmela buys 5000 shares of the company recommended to her. Tony plays golf with Dr Cusamano and his friends at the private course. Everyone keeps pestering Tony with questions about famous mobsters, making him feel very uncomfortable.
Adriana plays the Visiting Day demo CD to Massive and he is enthusiastic. Christopher plays it to Hesh, who hates it. Hesh calls Massive Genius and refuses to pay reparation. The gangster rapper says he will sue, so Hesh threatens to counter-sue over a sample lifted from an F-Note Records disc. Massive says he’ll see Hesh in court. Christopher tells Adriana that Visiting Day sucks and Massive only wants to get in her pants. They argue and she storms out. Carmela’s new stocks split three ways, tripling her investment overnight. Tony gets his revenge on Dr Cusamano. He asks him to look after a mysterious package for a while, which is actually filled with sand. The Cusamanos stare suspiciously at the box, wondering whether it contains drugs, guns or something worse…
Mobspeak: Tony tells Christopher he should invest in stocks and live off the juice (interest, usually referring to money from loansharking). Tony describes the Wagners as mayonnaises (Italian-Americans who have assimilated into suburban culture). Christopher tells Adriana he is arranging a sit-down (a meeting to settle disputes) between Hesh and Massive Genius. Tony tells Dr Melfi that Dr Cusamano is what his father called a Wonder Bread Wop (same meaning as mayonnaise). Tony approaches Dr Cusamano, saying he needs a little solid (favour).
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Christopher takes Adriana to dinner at Le Cirque but she’s embarrassed to be hungry again afterwards. They order a couple of burger baskets from a fast food outlet. Tony eats ham from the fridge and drinks bottled mineral water while discussing the cost of college education with Carmela. The Cusamano’s host a dinner party, where the food served includes chicken and asparagus. Visiting Day’s lead singer Richie once got third degree burns when he tried to grill a trout with a downed power line. At the barbeque Randy Wagner is cooking sausages from a little place in Garfield. All the men drink bottled beer.
Mobbed Up: Massive Genius’s associate Orange J calls Christopher ‘Donnie Brasco’ outside a burger bar to get his attention. At Massive’s house, the gangster rapper says he has seen ‘The Godfather’ two hundred times. He thinks ‘The Godfather Part II’ was definitely the shit, but a lot of people didn’t like the third film in the series. He thinks it was just misunderstood. On the golf course Tony does his W. C. Fields imitation. His playing partners ask him how real was ‘The Godfather’.
How Do You Feel?: Tony tells Dr Melfi he wants to branch out and make new friends, but he’s afraid of the reaction from his crew. At a subsequent session with Dr Melfi, Tony recalls how he and his friends pretending to like a guy called Jimmy Smash, who had a cleft palette. Tony likens this to his golf game with Cusamano and friends, who treated him like a dancing bear. He thought his neighbour was becoming his friend – now he knows better.
Sleeping With The Fishes: An unidentified drug dealer, executed by Paulie in a Newark apartment for trespassing on Sopranos territory.
Always with the…: Adriana despairs when Christopher mouths off in a crowded burger bar. ‘Always with the attitude, Christopher.’
Quote/Unquote: When Massive Genius says he wants Hesh to pay reparations for stealing royalties, Christopher thinks it’s unlikely Hesh will agree: ‘I’ve heard his opinions about giving back pieces of Israel. I can only imagine what he’s gonna say about this shit.’ Carmela wonders what she should do if something ever happened to Tony, but he is unconcerned: ‘You dig out my blue suit. You call up old man Coletti. You tell him not to put too much make-up on my face.’ Carmela despairs of Tony’s attitude, likening him to a multiple choice question: ‘I can’t tell if you’re old fashioned, paranoid or just a fucking asshole.’ Who could forget the soulful lyrics of Defiler? ‘Stay out of our way, don’t be so gay. We’re coming to defile, defile you.’
Soundtrack: ‘You Give Love A Bad Name’ by Bon Jovi. ‘De Cara A La Pared’ by Lhasa. ‘Defile You’ by Defiler. ‘Erase Myself’ by Visiting Day. ‘Why?’ by Annie Lennox. ‘Nobody Loves Me But You’ by Dori Hartley. 'A Dreamer's Holiday' by Ray Anthony & His Orchestra. 'DJ Keep Playin' (Get Your Music On)' by Yvette Michele.
Surveillance Report: The songs by Defiler and Visiting Day were written especially for this episode by Nick Fowler and Gregg Wattenberg, who play the lead singer and guitarist of Visiting Day. The band and its songs were designed to be astoundingly average. Christopher talks about Silvio having owned rock clubs in Asbury, New Jersey. Silvio Dante is played by Steven Van Zandt, guitarist with Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band – New Jersey’s most famous rock group. Tony’s revenge on Dr Cusamano with the mysterious box is an homage to scene in ‘The Godfather Part II’ where Bruno Kirby gives Robert De Niro guns to hide, which leads to the young Vito Corleone becoming a gangster.
The Verdict: ‘I think you should mentally prepare for the fucking possibility that Visiting Day sucks.’ Christopher tries to establish Adriana up as a music manager as Hesh is haunted by his actions as a corrupt record producer forty years ago. Meanwhile Tony finds making new friends difficult. This episode about the shadier side of the music industry has its funny moments but Junior and Livia are very conspicuous by their absence. Even Tony is reduced to the role of comic relief in the Wonder Bread Wop sub-plot. The scenes with Visiting Day are cringe-inducing because they are so well done. Adriana truly believes in the band and truly has no clue just how mediocre it is. This episode would have fitted better earlier in the season but just three weeks from the grand finale, ‘A Hit Is A Hit’ feels slightly irrelevant.
UK Transmission Date: 16 September 1999
Writer: Joe Bosso and Frank Renzulli • Director: Matthew Penn
Cast: Bokeem Woodbine (Massive Genius), Bryan Hicks (Orange J.), Nick Fowler (Richie Santini), Gregg Wattenberg (Vito), Chris Gibson (Bass Player), Ned Stroh (Drummer), Bray Poor (Squid), Robert Lupone (Dr. Bruce Cusamano), Jim Demarse (Jack Krim), James Weston (Randy Wagner), Phil Cocciletti (Eric), Terumi Matthews (Rita), Dan Morse (Mullethead), Alexandra Neil (Wendy Krim), Ken Prymus (Manager), Saundra Santiago (Jean Cusamano), Jessy Terrero (Gallegos), Elizabeth Ann Townsend (Barb Wagner), Cedric Turner (Police Officer)
Storyline: Paulie, Christopher and Pussy surprise a drug dealer who has been trespassing on Soprano territory. They net thousands of dollars in cash from the hit, which they share with Tony. Tony gives a box of illegal Cuban cigars to his neighbour Dr Cusamano as a thank you for the referral to Dr Melfi. In return Cusamano invites Tony to play with some friends at their private golf club. Christopher takes Adriana to a Broadway show. On the way home they stop for burgers and meet gangster rapper mogul Massive Genius. He invites them to a party at his house. There he asks Christopher to arrive a meeting for him with Hesh about some outstanding royalties owed to a relative of Massive.
Tony and Carmela are invited to a barbeque by neighbour Barbara Wagner. Carmela worries about how she could pay for Meadow’s college education if something should happen to Tony. Adriana wants to get into music management. She is friends with the lead singer of a band formerly known as Defiler. Adriana wonders if Massive Genius would help. Christopher agrees to bankroll Adriana’s new career. Massive Genius and his crew meet with Hesh, Tony and his crew at Hesh’s stud farm. Massive wants Hesh to pay $400,000 in reparations to the surviving relatives of a dead singer called Little Jimmy Willis, who had hits on Hesh’s F-Note Records in 1950s and 1960s. Dr Melfi goes to a dinner party held by the Cusamanos, where the Sopranos are a major topic of conversation.
Adriana and Christopher take Massive to see Defiler – now renamed as Visiting Day – in concert. The gangster rapper says he’s interested, but his interest mainly seems to be in Adriana. Tony and Carmela go to the barbeque at the Wagner’s house. Tony is frozen out of conversations by the men but Carmela picks up a stock market tip. Christopher pays for Visiting Day to make a demo CD but the sessions are troubled. Christopher tries to get lead singer Richie back on drugs to enhance his performance, then smashes a guitar over Richie’s back. Carmela buys 5000 shares of the company recommended to her. Tony plays golf with Dr Cusamano and his friends at the private course. Everyone keeps pestering Tony with questions about famous mobsters, making him feel very uncomfortable.
Adriana plays the Visiting Day demo CD to Massive and he is enthusiastic. Christopher plays it to Hesh, who hates it. Hesh calls Massive Genius and refuses to pay reparation. The gangster rapper says he will sue, so Hesh threatens to counter-sue over a sample lifted from an F-Note Records disc. Massive says he’ll see Hesh in court. Christopher tells Adriana that Visiting Day sucks and Massive only wants to get in her pants. They argue and she storms out. Carmela’s new stocks split three ways, tripling her investment overnight. Tony gets his revenge on Dr Cusamano. He asks him to look after a mysterious package for a while, which is actually filled with sand. The Cusamanos stare suspiciously at the box, wondering whether it contains drugs, guns or something worse…
Mobspeak: Tony tells Christopher he should invest in stocks and live off the juice (interest, usually referring to money from loansharking). Tony describes the Wagners as mayonnaises (Italian-Americans who have assimilated into suburban culture). Christopher tells Adriana he is arranging a sit-down (a meeting to settle disputes) between Hesh and Massive Genius. Tony tells Dr Melfi that Dr Cusamano is what his father called a Wonder Bread Wop (same meaning as mayonnaise). Tony approaches Dr Cusamano, saying he needs a little solid (favour).
Bright Lights, Baked Ziti: Christopher takes Adriana to dinner at Le Cirque but she’s embarrassed to be hungry again afterwards. They order a couple of burger baskets from a fast food outlet. Tony eats ham from the fridge and drinks bottled mineral water while discussing the cost of college education with Carmela. The Cusamano’s host a dinner party, where the food served includes chicken and asparagus. Visiting Day’s lead singer Richie once got third degree burns when he tried to grill a trout with a downed power line. At the barbeque Randy Wagner is cooking sausages from a little place in Garfield. All the men drink bottled beer.
Mobbed Up: Massive Genius’s associate Orange J calls Christopher ‘Donnie Brasco’ outside a burger bar to get his attention. At Massive’s house, the gangster rapper says he has seen ‘The Godfather’ two hundred times. He thinks ‘The Godfather Part II’ was definitely the shit, but a lot of people didn’t like the third film in the series. He thinks it was just misunderstood. On the golf course Tony does his W. C. Fields imitation. His playing partners ask him how real was ‘The Godfather’.
How Do You Feel?: Tony tells Dr Melfi he wants to branch out and make new friends, but he’s afraid of the reaction from his crew. At a subsequent session with Dr Melfi, Tony recalls how he and his friends pretending to like a guy called Jimmy Smash, who had a cleft palette. Tony likens this to his golf game with Cusamano and friends, who treated him like a dancing bear. He thought his neighbour was becoming his friend – now he knows better.
Sleeping With The Fishes: An unidentified drug dealer, executed by Paulie in a Newark apartment for trespassing on Sopranos territory.
Always with the…: Adriana despairs when Christopher mouths off in a crowded burger bar. ‘Always with the attitude, Christopher.’
Quote/Unquote: When Massive Genius says he wants Hesh to pay reparations for stealing royalties, Christopher thinks it’s unlikely Hesh will agree: ‘I’ve heard his opinions about giving back pieces of Israel. I can only imagine what he’s gonna say about this shit.’ Carmela wonders what she should do if something ever happened to Tony, but he is unconcerned: ‘You dig out my blue suit. You call up old man Coletti. You tell him not to put too much make-up on my face.’ Carmela despairs of Tony’s attitude, likening him to a multiple choice question: ‘I can’t tell if you’re old fashioned, paranoid or just a fucking asshole.’ Who could forget the soulful lyrics of Defiler? ‘Stay out of our way, don’t be so gay. We’re coming to defile, defile you.’
Soundtrack: ‘You Give Love A Bad Name’ by Bon Jovi. ‘De Cara A La Pared’ by Lhasa. ‘Defile You’ by Defiler. ‘Erase Myself’ by Visiting Day. ‘Why?’ by Annie Lennox. ‘Nobody Loves Me But You’ by Dori Hartley. 'A Dreamer's Holiday' by Ray Anthony & His Orchestra. 'DJ Keep Playin' (Get Your Music On)' by Yvette Michele.
Surveillance Report: The songs by Defiler and Visiting Day were written especially for this episode by Nick Fowler and Gregg Wattenberg, who play the lead singer and guitarist of Visiting Day. The band and its songs were designed to be astoundingly average. Christopher talks about Silvio having owned rock clubs in Asbury, New Jersey. Silvio Dante is played by Steven Van Zandt, guitarist with Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band – New Jersey’s most famous rock group. Tony’s revenge on Dr Cusamano with the mysterious box is an homage to scene in ‘The Godfather Part II’ where Bruno Kirby gives Robert De Niro guns to hide, which leads to the young Vito Corleone becoming a gangster.
The Verdict: ‘I think you should mentally prepare for the fucking possibility that Visiting Day sucks.’ Christopher tries to establish Adriana up as a music manager as Hesh is haunted by his actions as a corrupt record producer forty years ago. Meanwhile Tony finds making new friends difficult. This episode about the shadier side of the music industry has its funny moments but Junior and Livia are very conspicuous by their absence. Even Tony is reduced to the role of comic relief in the Wonder Bread Wop sub-plot. The scenes with Visiting Day are cringe-inducing because they are so well done. Adriana truly believes in the band and truly has no clue just how mediocre it is. This episode would have fitted better earlier in the season but just three weeks from the grand finale, ‘A Hit Is A Hit’ feels slightly irrelevant.
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