Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Nina and the Neurons: All About Bellybuttons


My third episode of pre-school science show Nina and the Neurons, Bellybuttons, was on CBeebies last Friday. It answers the question, what are bellybuttons for? Perhaps I should have paid more attention in biology, but I learned new things writing this ep. You can watch it online for the next couple of weeks, thanks to the iPlayer.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Muppets: The Pig with the Froggy Tattoo trailer

If you haven't seen it already [or just as a reminder], here's the trailer for the forthcoming US version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, directed by David Fincher:



Now here's a parody of that trailer, as presented by the Muppets for their next film:

Monday, September 12, 2011

Writing for pre-school: Nina and the Neurons


Weekdays at 4.45pm Cbeebies is screening new episodes of Nina and the Neurons, a science show for audiences aged 4-6. The current series is called Brilliant Bodies and tackles the sciences of biology and medicine. I was lucky enough to write five eps for this series, two of which screened last week - Heart and Handy Hands.

[How did that happen? I was among a dozen writers selected for a development lab run by CBeebies Scotland and the Scottish Book Trust. Afterwards I pitched 26 episode ideas for a kids' health show. The Nina team was already working on the Brilliant Bodies but asked if some of my ep ideas might fit their series. Result.]

Nina and the Neurons is heavily formatted with similar elements in every show. Each ep usually comprises 13 sequences, of which several are fixed - the titles, a CGI sequence where the Neurons inside Nina's head are activated, a song that summarises the whole series, and the final goodbyes at the end of each ep.

There are usually three experiments per show - a senses experiment in the lab, another experiment out on location, and a final experiment back in the lab. The production team develops and storylines all of these in advance, so the writers don't need to be scientists themselves [a distinct advantage for non-boffins like me].

The challenge with experiments is writing dialogue so the intended audience can understand what's going on. In one of my forthcoming eps [spoilers!], there's an experiment involving replica bones. But some four-year-olds may not know what replicas are, so I had to rewrite the dialogue to call them pretend bones.

Medical science often involves words that are unfamiliar or challenging for a pre-school audience, so there's a need to write an explanation or pronunciation moment into the script. The Neuron characters can be useful for this, especially the young sibling Neuron Bud, with whom some of the audience might identify.

Recaps and repetitions are important learning tools, so several summary sections must be written into each script. [All the requirements are laid out by the production team, which is amazing at helping new writers cope with such challenges.] Arguably the major element of the writer's job is creating and crafting dialogue.


How hard can it be, you may be thinking, writing dialogue for a scientist character and the five Neuron voices in her head? Particularly when the whole thing's already been storylined and the science experiments worked out in advance for you? The writer's task is very specific, but constraint brings it own difficulties.

For example, each time a Neuron is seen speaking requires the creation of new, synchronised animation - which costs money. In-house productions like Nina have very limited budgets, so there's a strict rule about how many times the Neurons can be shown talking new dialogue in each ep [it's about 10 times, if memory serves].

To get around this, eps feature over the shoulder shots of Neurons watching Nina via a viewscreen, with Neurons in voiceover. [Actors saying extra lines is cheaper than extra CGI.] Capturing the voices of the Neurons and Nina is a challenge, but nailing the voices of the regulars is a requirement for writing any returning series.

One thing I found taxing was getting all five Neurons involved in every ep. Each character is related to a particular human sense - touch, sound, sight, smell and taste. Individual eps of Brilliant Bodies focus on different parts of human biology and sometimes there's no obvious or elegant way to involve all five sense.

That's where lateral thinking and imagination are your friend. You can't stray too far from the subject of that day's ep, but a brief diversion to your childish side can offer an answer. The Neurons add fun to the science bits, and are also a useful cutaway device to smooth transitions and storytelling during each ep.

It's all too easy to obsess about the constraints and forgot what is at the core of this show: making science fun and entertaining for the target audience, as well as educational. I wish we'd had shows like Nina and the Neurons when I was growing up, I might have done better at science in school. Oh well, such is life. Onwards!

Friday, September 09, 2011

Fox News attacks eco-games for fear-mongering


Above: Fox News accuses eco-friendly computer games of liberal fear-mongering. Among the games cited is Fate of the World, which I wrote. I'm glad Fox News is helping me see the error of my ways. Down with liberal fear-mongering! Only conservative fear-mongering should be permitted! No more pots calling kettles black! #ironyfail

Screenwriting gurus coming to Glasgow

I've done a lot of short courses over the past five years, and for most of them I had to travel outside Scotland - generally down to London. So it's a pleasure to pimp out a screenwriting seminar coming to Glasgow in November, run by two very experienced people: writer Philip Gladwin and producer/script editor Philip Shelley.

The Authoritative Guide to Writing - and Selling! - a Great Screenplay tackles lots of big challenges that confront every scribe. Creating memorable, vivid characters. Writing subtext into dialogue. Building industry connections. The perfect one-page pitch doc. Winning over commissioning editors. And more.

November 12-13 in Glasgow. Only 30 places. Philip and Philip offer lots of added value - go here for more details. Book now to get the early bird price of £197. I've yet to meet Philip Gladwin, but Philip Shelley's insights are worth the money IMHO [otherwise I wouldn't endorse this]. How much are your screenwriting aspirations worth to you?

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

'I don't know how to pleasure myself to Bruno Mars'


Wry video exhorting Justin Timberlake to start making music again. NSFW.

Theme for the day: getting back up again

Utterly unlikely Rugby World Cup moment


The Zinzan Brooke drop goal from 1995 by Glorz
This is the 1995 RWC semi-final, where Jonah Lomu bulldozed England with some incredible runs. I watched the game in a pub near High Street Kensington in London, surrounded by unhappy England fans. This moment stands out, one of the most unlikely drop goals ever kicked in a test match. [Sorry about the annoying ad.]

Controversial new scene in Star Wars Blu-Ray


Thanks goodness modern technology is now available so George Lucas can fulfill his original, unique vision for this key scene. Coming soon: Vanilla Ice records Carbonite, Carbonite Baby track for inclusion on Stars Wars 3D cinema release.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Watch my first Nina and the Neurons ep, 'Heart'


Anyone in the UK can watch my first episode of Nina and the Neurons, thanks to the wonders of the BBC iPlayer. 'Heart' launched the new series, Brilliant Bodies, which helps viewers aged 4-6 to learn about biology. This popular show makes science fun, thanks to the lovable perkiness of host Nina [Katrina Bryan, above] and her neurons.

If I get my act together this week [stop sniggering at the back, it's possible], I'll post about the challenges of writing for a heavily formatted show like Nina. I'm still an absolute novice at such things, but producer Ciaran Cruickshank and her team were very patient with me. In the meantime, enjoy Nina!

Flashmob Haka in New Zealand - RWC beckons


The Rugby World Cup starts this Friday in New Zealand. All sorts of fun and games are kicking off in the land of my birth as a consequence, like this flashmob haka the other day. Don't tick these boys off, that's my advice. Enjoy!

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Like father, like son: Nile Marr no songsmith slouch


Finally uploaded this to Youtube. It's a performance by Nile Marr [a.k.a. Man Made], playing support for the Pajama Club in Glasgow. Nile is the son of Johnny Marr, who was part of iconic UK band The Smiths. Seems Johnny's boy isn't too bad as a songsmith. [Apologies for ho-hum sound and picture quality.] Enjoy.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

WTF? Jim Davidson sings 'Hello' John Malkovich


This scene's from Colour Me Kubrick, in which Malkovich plays a man who pretended to be Stanley Kubrick in the late 90s. Quite why Jim Davidson is singing Lionel Richie's Hello to the character is beyond my kenny, but this clip buggers belief in every possible way [via @james_blue_cat]. Prepare to be boggled...