In recent years I've taken to eating muesli for breakfast [stop laughing at the back - yes, you with the clogged colon]. Not the world's most exciting start to the day, but it gets the job done. However, there's been a recent rash of flame raisins in every brand of muesli I try, which leads me to ask one question: where the hell did flame raisins come from? I'd never even heard of flame raisins two years ago, now they seem to be everywhere.
Were they invented in a laboratory by some crazed scientist, like the Kiwifruit? [True story: the New Zealand Department of Scientific and Industrial Research created the kiwifruit by mutating the Chinese Gooseberry. See, crazed scientists can be a force for good, not just evil.] Or have there always been flame raisins and I was simply too pig ignorant to know about them? Or is there a third option, the lever marked Marketing Plot to Sell Stuff.
Twenty years ago I'd never knowingly consumed sundried tomatoes, now they're a handy way of adding flavour to dreary casseroles and suchlike. Then came the sunblush tomato. I can just about buy the sundried tomatoe, that sounds like a real thing - but sunblush tomatoes? What are they, slightly shy in direct sunlight? Is there a more extreme version out there, waiting to be discovered? How long before I can buy sunstrumpet tomatoes, hmm?
While we wait for that strange day, I humbly submit for your consideration this link to a review of the worst comic ever published. Warning: this is most definitely NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK - well, not unless you work in Denmark. The picture below should provide ample proof of what I'm talking about. You were warned.