Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Where did flame raisins come from?

In recent years I've taken to eating muesli for breakfast [stop laughing at the back - yes, you with the clogged colon]. Not the world's most exciting start to the day, but it gets the job done. However, there's been a recent rash of flame raisins in every brand of muesli I try, which leads me to ask one question: where the hell did flame raisins come from? I'd never even heard of flame raisins two years ago, now they seem to be everywhere.

Were they invented in a laboratory by some crazed scientist, like the Kiwifruit? [True story: the New Zealand Department of Scientific and Industrial Research created the kiwifruit by mutating the Chinese Gooseberry. See, crazed scientists can be a force for good, not just evil.] Or have there always been flame raisins and I was simply too pig ignorant to know about them? Or is there a third option, the lever marked Marketing Plot to Sell Stuff.

Twenty years ago I'd never knowingly consumed sundried tomatoes, now they're a handy way of adding flavour to dreary casseroles and suchlike. Then came the sunblush tomato. I can just about buy the sundried tomatoe, that sounds like a real thing - but sunblush tomatoes? What are they, slightly shy in direct sunlight? Is there a more extreme version out there, waiting to be discovered? How long before I can buy sunstrumpet tomatoes, hmm?

While we wait for that strange day, I humbly submit for your consideration this link to a review of the worst comic ever published. Warning: this is most definitely NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK - well, not unless you work in Denmark. The picture below should provide ample proof of what I'm talking about. You were warned.


AndrewT said...

How on earth do you find such links Mr B?

And what is a flame raisin? I thought all rasins were that, raisins?

Lucy said...

I simply do not believe kiwifruits were invented by a crazed scientist. April Fool's is ages away, you fiend.

Tom Murphy said...

In an office where I was the only bloke with about 12 women, the creepy would-be-lothario sandwich fella used to try and lure the laydeez with his 'sun-kissed tomatoes'

Mads B said...

'...Unless you work in Denmark'... what are you implying here -that us Danes have nothing but perfect work ethics or is this a pun on the infamous Muhammed drawings?!

Anonymous said...

see here for an explanation of where flame raisins come from.