Metaphorical Money in My Mouth Moment

Having hyped the Gone In 60 Seconds script opportunity, thought I'd put my money where my mouth was - metaphorically speaking - and submit something to GI60. It's a cut-down version of a short scene I've written as directing exercise fodder for undergraduates at Screen Academy Scotland. In all fairness, I should tip my hat to the sublime dinnerladies by Victoria Wood for the mix of battered cod and... Well, you'll see.

MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM by David Bishop

FADE IN: INT. A WOMEN’S BATHROOM AT A CLUB. NIGHT.

Distant dance music thumps. Posh TAMSIN (27) preens while talking on a mobile. She wears a distinctive dress.

TAMSIN:
Miranda, darling! It’s Tamsin.
(beat)
I’m at Zanzibar to meet my little brother’s fiance. According to James she’s something special!

Violent vomiting is heard from one of the cubicles.

TAMSIN (CONT'D):
Ughhh! The trash Antoine lets in these days...

A toilet flushes.

TAMSIN (CONT'D):
I’ll call you later. Ciao!

SHARON (33) lurches from a cubicle. Her dress is identical to that of a dumbstruck Tamsin. Her accent’s pure Glasgow.

SHARON:
Och, I shouldnae had that fifth Zambucca - not with battered cod.

Sharon examines her bloodshot eyes in the mirror.

SHARON (CONT'D):
Seen varicose veins look better!

Sharon finally notices Tamsin.

SHARON (CONT'D):
Do ye like my frock, hen? It’s a present from my new beau.

TAMSIN:
Impossible! My brother created that design exclusively for...

The full horror dawns on Tamsin, but Sharon’s oblivious.

SHARON:
See, I’m meeting Jimmy’s sister, and wanted to look my best. I hear she’s a right stuck up coo!

Tamsin gasps, mortified, before flouncing out.

SHARON (CONT'D):
Was it something I said, love?

FADE TO BLACK.