This is why Ken Levine writes comedy

Just for fun, Emmy-award-winning comedy scribe Ken Levine has posted the first half of a crossover story that combines Lost, 24 and House. You can read all of it here, but below you'll find an extract...

10 pm – 11 pm
Jack can open the hatch but needs three volunteers to help him. He is successful but all three die. Inside they discover a command center much like CTU except there are burger wrappers suggesting someone actually ate there. Also surveillance monitors are discovered. They watch Kate struggle to get out of the net. Back at camp Sawyer knocks House into next Tuesday.

11 pm – 12 am
Jack must punch a sequence of numbers into the computer within three minutes or the world blows up. He calls Chloe. She manages to sync up to the hatch computer. Through a complicated program that doesn’t exist in real life, Chloe unearths the mystery numbers. Jack enters them just in time. A stuffed animal comes down a chute. Jack asks Chloe to send a rescue party. She doesn’t like his snippy tone and hangs up.